Truly special private schools in London?

[Vinegargirl0]

My son isn’t overly happy at school. Not sad either, just not loving it. He has asked if he can only go part time - or not at all. There are no problems and it’s actually a nice state school. He doesn’t cry or make a fuss about. But he mentions most days that he wishes he didn’t have to go. And… you only get one childhood so I’m looking for alternatives.

Can anyone suggest any truly lovely private schools? Really happy places where kids WANT to go? We could move anywhere within London for it.

Not chaotic or a hot house either. Just a happy, friendly school - like lots of private nurseries are! (In fact my son as asked if he can just go back to his lovely nursery! He’s year 2 and still remembers that it was better.)

I also keep thinking maybe we should quit London if we can’t find the right balance here. So please do suggest any in the uk if you can’t think of one in London! DH and are are wfh-ers. (I even keep fantasising about moving abroad!)

West Hill Park in Hampshire. I know it well and it fits exactly your description.

The thing is, this is how long is a piece of string.

Because you don’t actually want a link to a great school. You want a link to a great school for your son. And those two things are not necessarily the same thing.

Bless your son sounds like a sweetie hope you find somewhere

PS there are tax implications of moving abroad if you are working for a UK employer so be careful if you go that route. Many Uk employers will limit the number of weeks you can be based overseas in any given year.

State schools can massively vary. We moved my eldest from one in year two when we moved. They were night and day. Are you set on private?

He might like this kind of thing?

No, but this is actually his second state school! We didn’t leave the first because he was unhappy - we moved from one part of London to another.

I am wary of moving again and getting it wrong, so it’s a lot of pressure! Although he only went to the first school for half of reception.

He felt exactly the same about that school. Didn’t match up to how much he liked nursery.

I would obviously rather not pay fees! I am not sure what it is about school that DS isn’t in love with. I ask him to give me examples and he really struggles to. Tonight he said again he wishes he could only go in the mornings and I asked if he knew why, but he said “I don’t know, I just always want to go home” 😞 he comes out sort of morose too. Perks up when playing with friends and activities etc. School say it’s all good - I don’t know what’s the answer is!

There are plenty of London private schools that are nurturing in Reception/Year 1, but not so many that are like that in year 3 - a lot of preps start gearing up for the 11+ and 13+ from that point.

Agree with a PP that it would help to know exactly what your son liked about nursery - DS loves his school and looks forward to going, but it seems like an entirely standard primary to me. Nice teachers, good results, but nothing I’d cross London for.

So sorry to hear you are going through this. I don’t have my London recommendations for boys, but just want to say that finding the right school can be transformative. We moved from a very good (but maybe too metric oriented?) state school to a non-selective indie with a very hands on approach to learning and they absolutely adore school now - skip all the way to their classroom, and so excited about what each day brings. It is a really individual choice though - what works for one child may not for another. Hope you find something amazing- your son deserves a joyful early education.

y2 is not going to be the same as nursery …they start moving towards more learning and less play which he had to get used to. I wouldn’t rush to make any rash decisions i suspect any school will not match up to his nursery days unfortunately.

Normanhurst might suit. I have friends with children there. Very small and very nurturing. Has a real family feel. All the teachers know all the kids by name. Gets good results but not pushy academically, and it goes through to 16 so no pressure for 11 plus.

It doesn't have much in terms of on site facilities though and they travel to use sports pitches. But on the bright side that means it's cheaper than many. You get a lot for your money house wise locally too .

Dallington in Islington, Rosemary Works in Hackney, Dania near Holloway.

King Alfred in Golders Green.

Heathside in Hampstead.

One of the Montessori primaries - Maria Montessori in Hampstead, Riverhouse in Canary Wharf.

Liberty Woodland School in Morden. It's an outdoor school but still very forward-thinking and technology inclusive (unlike the nearby Acorn School which I believe uses no screens). My daughter goes to the forest nursery founded by the same person as the school which she's loving, and we've done a tour of the school. It's a wonderful site, and truly different from any other state or private school I've seen. They don't do GCSE or A-Levels, they do IB instead, which I also like. I feel like schooling in this country is so miserable because it is just round after round of teaching to tests, rather than education for its own sake. For kids who hate the exam wheel, this could be an interesting alternative. Good luck!

Does he have learning difficulties? Is there a lot of behaviour issues in his class? Maybe an earlier bed time? Lots depends on the class not necessarily the school too. Y3 will be a big change for him, it becomes more intense so maybe try to figure out what the problem is in the summer holidays and take it from there. Independents ramp things up a lot from Y3 too so it may not be the solution you are after.

No learning difficulties - he’s a bright and curious kid. Pretty quiet and “well behaved”. I can’t put my finger on anything specific, which is frustrating as I’d love to know why. Parents evenings etc all say he’s doing well and happy enough. It’s such a difficult one! He has friends there, but his best friend goes to another school.

i actually don’t know if there are lots of children with behaviour difficulties in his class. I don’t think so? He never mentions it. But could be?

But I appreciate all these suggestions and looking all schools up!

Have a look at St Margaret’s in Bushey. I know it’s not London but it’s close! And they are expanding coach routes further into London in September.

Feel free to DM me if you like.

Knightsbridge School, which now goes all the way to 16.

My children don't go there, but I've heard very good things about St James's in Olympia. Boys until 11 I think.

Looked at another way, maybe there's no problem. My younger son doesn't like school very much either. I didn't like school very much. Or, at least, I always preferred being at home. Maybe he's just emotionally intelligent and rational? Same way that most adults would rather be on holiday than at work?

Unless you have money to burn, I'd think carefully about putting a child in primary school on the grounds that he'd rather stay home than go to school and remembers his lovely nursery with fondness. I mean, loads of kids are like that. As PP has pointed out, in Y2 things move on, regardless of what kind of school you're going to.

"private primary school," I should have said.

When he went to nursery, did he go half days?

I would tend to agree with others, he’s not putting his finger on why he doesn’t like it, he just prefers home. I think that’s quite rational.

Has he made friends there? You said he is happy playing with friends after school.

I'd agree with other posters saying that Y2 is very different from nursery wherever you are. In nursery, children pick what they want to do, and there is free flow between activities.
Y2 is much more structured, there are proper lessons, and you don't have a choice about what you do. You are expected to follow instructions and have your day very closely managed.
My DS2 hated going to school because he didn't like being told what to do all day. It took years for him to be able to articulate that.
Is it possible that your DS is similar?

St Olave's Prep in SE London - absolutely lovely, not a hot house, but the children all go on to really good secondary schools (mix of private, grammar and comprehensive). They are all about the pastoral stuff and have an amazing allotment all the kids work in!