Truly special private schools in London?

[Vinegargirl0]

My son isn’t overly happy at school. Not sad either, just not loving it. He has asked if he can only go part time - or not at all. There are no problems and it’s actually a nice state school. He doesn’t cry or make a fuss about. But he mentions most days that he wishes he didn’t have to go. And… you only get one childhood so I’m looking for alternatives.

Can anyone suggest any truly lovely private schools? Really happy places where kids WANT to go? We could move anywhere within London for it.

Not chaotic or a hot house either. Just a happy, friendly school - like lots of private nurseries are! (In fact my son as asked if he can just go back to his lovely nursery! He’s year 2 and still remembers that it was better.)

I also keep thinking maybe we should quit London if we can’t find the right balance here. So please do suggest any in the uk if you can’t think of one in London! DH and are are wfh-ers. (I even keep fantasising about moving abroad!)

Primary teacher/play therapist here, if relevant. I'd be very careful here in terms of moving when neither you nor him can say what the problem, if any is, bar he'd love to still be at lovely preschool. What will you do if you move and he has the same feeling after a few weeks? Many children and teachers don't want to go school, on a Monday morning especially, including my own ds who absolutely loves it once in. I wonder has there been too much discussion about it all and it's making something out of not too much?

I hesitate to recommend because there is much I dislike about them, but some people find this sort of feel in Steiner schools...

I wonder this too. Although DS does love his school, he preferred reception to Y1 (“all we do in year 1 is writing, writing, WRITING!!” apparently), and probably preferred nursery over both.

Who wouldn’t? Playing, storytime, crafts and painting, lots of time in the massive garden, indoor climbing frame, trips to the local park, delicious food every couple of hours. Obviously that is more fun than learning phonics and your 2x table.

Unless you send your child to Summerhill, they aren’t going to spend all of Y3 playing in the garden wherever you send them.

Please consider looking at the neurological aspect of enjoying school or work or a social club. Moving to another school seems like outsourcing the "fix" (and it might work but probably may not).

We enjoy what we find easy (easy or at least making good progress), consider breaking down the problem from that position.

Could it be that he knows you and DH are wfh and therefore actually at home so he thinks he'd rather do that too?

Take a look at this link as a starting point - may give you some ideas.

https://www.theweek.co.uk/news/education/956021/best-prep-schools-in-the-uk?ppcddm=true&gclid=Cj0KCQjwnrmlBhDHARIsADJ5bnAf7h7O02plxnV6ggGkV4zlgey4zj6d43Aae45LNccXvsMn-KeRAaAuQvEALw_wcB

My two boys absolutely thrived at the Children's House in Islington. The level of joyful care of the kids is amazing. Two children joined my son's class this year and raved about the school and the parents.

I thinks most kids just don't like school! My daughter is academic, well behaved etc and a bit of a teacher pleaser (though not if she doesn't like them), so you'd think she'd like school, but she would far rather not go at all.
Maybe you are looking for the holy grail, and you could move your son year after year but never find it

This is all very interesting! I really enjoyed primary school, I think that’s why I worry that he doesn’t. I can’t shake the feeling that there’s something happier out there for him. But I will definitely tread very carefully!

If I had a job that made me feel meh, I’d quit and find another one. I’m not encouraging him to be a quitter, but I’d obviously have that autonomy and I’d like to help him if I can? I am definitely thinking very carefully about it all though!

Wonderful school suggestions. I have already contacted a couple to find out about open days.

There are so many fantastic private schools in london and without knowing your DS, we can't possibly make a suggestion for you.

I think hiring an education consultant will be helpful in this situation. There are dozens in London that can assess your DS and give you some appropriate options.

Be prepared to spend around £9k PER TERM in London these days though.

Those saying year 2 is a big change wherever you are (implying less play etc.), it simply isn’t true. Many schools mentioned above and outside of London, many more. It’s one reason people look to the independent sector for primary age.

The same amount of free play as in nursery?

There are going to be very few schools where children in year 3 are not doing any reading, writing, maths or topics work whatsoever, and instead just spend their time doing free play in the garden all day.

I don’t think it’s the constant free play that he misses about nursery (but he might!) as he actually likes sitting down and doing sums and writing sentences and reading books. Not an over the top amount, but he does like stuff like that. I think it’s the very sweet and kind setting where everyone knew everyone and all the children and staff appeared well-liked. But who knows. I ask him and he says “I don’t know.”

I loved his nursery too! Sometimes I’d think he was going to have a better day than anyone else in the family when I dropped him off! (I don’t talk about it to him in a nostalgia way, so I don’t think I’m leading him to have this belief that nursery was better. I really don’t bring nursery up at all.)

But he also only went part time (3 days a week) so maybe that was it too.

You really can achieve what you are looking for in terms of a genuinely warm and kind environment. At St Margaret’s which I linked to above, the junior school children are really known by the lovely staff and have an absolute blast while also learning loads.

It’s worth thinking about what you want for the senior stage. Prep schools have a job of preparing the children to take competitive exams at 11+ or 13+ so will tailor their offer accordingly. In an all-through school they won’t need to focus so much on exam deadlines - but if you want to enter for competitive senior school exams rather than going on to the attached senior school then you are very likely to need extra preparation (by tutoring or by yourself) at home.

@HonorHiding But their current teacher might be lovely too as well as the environment. I really don't think prep is what will solve OPs problem. From Y3 it gets pretty academic. Some kids really just don't like school or say they don't. Actually if you watched them in school they're having fun and enjoying it.

A good prep does balance academic work with lots and lots of play and clubs, mine does. SO many clubs and sports, even a drab Prep in London will offer more Extra curricular activities than an outstanding state primary in London, its just a sad fact I'm afraid, and the reason is at the Prep we're handing over anything from 15 to 23K a year just on fees, look at the spending gap between state and private spending per child.

While kids at Prep are usually pushed a year ahead of state school kids and they will prep for senior school exams, this does get balanced by more art and music and sports with a wide choice so the child can choose to follow their growing interests. Even the so called 'hot house' preps will have extensive 'non-academic' clubs and before and after school stuff and its child led so the sporty child gets to do their thing and the much less sporty child can indulge more in science club, chess club, drama club, Yoga even.

@cheekyduck Whilst I don't disagree with you on the whole, I do think you're underestimating the extra curricular offer a lot of state primaries have. Our local ones in London have the same as the preps, if not more. The preps even rent some of the state schools facilities, especially the new ones with limited space. I do agree with you though that in other areas the preps tend to be better, but I just don't see the OP getting what she thinks she will from it.

Yes, but it doesn't really sound like the OP's child is thirsting for more clubs and activities, does it? It sounds like he enjoyed the cozy environment of nursery, shorter hours and less focus on academics, which is totally understandable but wouldn't be served by the average prep school.

There are "nurturing cozy private schools" out there, but I just can't imagine spending what is likely to be very large amounts of money on one, merely because "my son seems to be OK with school rather than LOVING it." He probably won't LOVE any school - most kids would rather doss around, frankly, if given the choice.

St Paul’s Cathedral School. Both my children are there and absolutely love it.

Op the school your son hates? Well many will love and their parents will think it’s a truly special school

https://g.co/kgs/H8dHZKgSt James Preparatory & Nursery School
020 7348 1777

Spend money on a psychologist or play therapist to pull out and understand the "why". It may be unrelated. It may be same whichever school . If you work from home maybe he just does not get why he shouldnt school from home.

Op, I would also suggest looking north west at schools such as Ivy House and St Anthony Boys. There are also some nice schools around the same area such as Devonshire House and Northbridge House you can consider! Have heard great things about all of them!

Move to Rutland, it’s all lovely tiny village state schools where everyone knows everyone. DD will be going to a school where she will be one of about 8 reception children in a school of about 68 children in 3 mixed age classes. It’s like a big family.
It’s not perfect obviously but it has that nursery vibe.

But quite frankly @Vinegargirl0 he may just not like school full stop and will just have to suck it up sadly.

Ignore those who say ‘some kids just don’t like school.’ It’s all about whether the other children are calm and nice, and if the work is inspiring and staff are relaxed, gentle, and have time to be kind, which combination is increasingly rare in state schools.

We moved our son from a state primary he hated to a prep school and he has LOVED it.

Have a look at Caterham Prep in SE London, or St Michaels Prep in Otford. Maybe Radnor House.