If your child is at prep school but you're not mega rich

[wellingtonhighboots]

Hallo,

We are looking to send our daughters to prep school but we aren't mega rich, the costs all in (fees, uniform, trips, holiday clubs, wraparound, clubs and lunch) would sap up my entire salary so we would be living on DPs salary which is about £80k but there is potential to earn more through ad hoc work but wouldn't go above £100k or we'd lose free hours (the school we like does accept 15 hrs funding and may use 30 hrs free for our youngest at another setting before moving to prep for reception).

I've got some queries for others who have stretched to send their DCs to prep school rather than those who can effortlessly afford it!

How did you friends feel about it? We don't move in particularly posh circles with most of DCs current friends due to go to local state school. Will people judge us for sending our kids to private?

Then on the other side, what's it like with other parents- is there a mix of people or would we feel out of place?

Do you feel you get value for money? We'd be sacrificing holidays, new cars, the option of having a third child, being able to buy whatever we like... (although would still afford to live comfortably with DPs salary so it's more extras we'd lose) is it worth it for your DC's experience?

Grateful for any advice!

I think a more pertinent question these days (since this thread is for parents that can afford, but not comfortably afford private education) is whether the money is better spent on education or better spent on a house deposit and/or support through university and as a young adult. Particularly if we are saying that private education is to give the child a better learning experience, rather than actually leading to any tangible better outcomes as an adult.

Did you find getting to go away outside of termtime (in the additional weeks of holiday) offset the cost of additional childcare for longer holidays?
Short answer - no

Holiday companies aren't stupid - prices for early July are higher, although not quite as high as state school holiday dates. And many of the child holiday clubs don't start until state school holiday dates or if they do start earlier are priced to capture the 'better off' private school families.

Whichever way you look at it private education is very expensive. Just checked on the fees for DD's old prep - £6000 per term inc some extra curricula stuff. So £18,000 for both children for the year sounds on the low side to me

My DC all go to state secondary school now, but my youngest attended a private primary for a few years because he wasn't getting on well at the local state primary.

It was absolutely fine in terms of fitting in - there were a mixture of parents, some very wealthy, some making sacrifices to pay for their DC's education.

No problem with our friends either (although I guess it may depend on your social circle).

DC was happy and did well, but tbh this is also true of his current state secondary.

Save the money by using local state and topping up on tutoring if you think it’s needed. Then pay for secondary.

@TheaBrandt we'll still take our kids on holiday but not super expensive ones, I've never been able to bring myself to spend a lot on a few days away even when we had lots of disposable income. My parents never took me abroad growing up as we couldn't afford it but we had lovely camping holidays where we could 'bond'. In terms of what I'm striving for, it's all the reasons given in this thread from posters about why they've sent their kids to private school

@Fretfulmum agree, we've looked round and few and only one has captured our hearts and feels worth it. 10% is a big increase, but our salaries will increase and I'm due a £10k pay rise in 3 years time.

@redskylight this is super morbid but there will be inheritance to support that sort of thing once my kids are young adults

A bit - certainly we used to go to Cornwall immediately they broke up and when I got the hotel bill, often the first 5-7 days were on a lower rate than the last few days.

Most schools will allow you to pay as much as you can upfront - several years if you want to - and give you a return on it. In previous years with v low bank interest it has been worth it, though of course you have to be very confident that the school is financially solvent as you'd lose it if they went bust.

If your friends are via DC and they then end up at a different school, don’t expect to stay friends. They will move in different circles and so will you. Also definitely look at destinations. Cheap prep schools have cheap senior destinations - for obvious reasons. If loads of the prep DC go off to boarding or top day schools, you know the majority have money. Whether you worry about what others think is down to you. However we paid and expected value for money. No point paying if destinations are the same as the local primary!

Yes, preps have shiny facilities but not necessarily better teachers. Look for subject specialist teaching, art, drama, music, sport and clubs. Don’t just look for small classes with no specialist teaching when dc are older.

Just another thing to check when you look at prep schools is whether they have withdrawn from the teacher pension.

Some prep schools near us are doing this - some are on strike and / or haemorrhaging experienced staff. I would imagine increasingly teachers will choose not to join prep schools which are not in the scheme.

This is an old article about it but I know there have been strikes in my area just last week: https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2020/01/06/private-schools-facing-wave-strikes-changes-teacher-pensions/

If it’s genuinely non negotiable for secondary for you, I would absolutely not consider at primary if you have a half decent option. Worst case scenario you could be divorced or widowed, just save now for the secondary fees.