Reward schemes that exclude a minority of children

[Unconscionableschooldecision]

Please be gentle as I'm really upset about this on DD's (and her affected peers') behalf!

DD's primary school operates a recognition scheme whereby a child is picked out as a 'star' in a special assembly each week. Their teacher writes a lovely poem (or similar tribute) about them and they get to wear a special badge until the next recipient's turn.

Over the course of a child's school career, they attend enough assemblies that they could reasonably expect to receive one of these awards. Unfortunately, recipients aren't tracked and there have been a number of repeat recipients. DD is nearing the end of Y6 and risks being one of just 3 in her class of 30 who haven't been recognised in this way. It has been causing quite a lot of upset at home for some time, to the point where the award has pretty much lost its value for DD who feels she would only now receive it because they've run out of anyone else to give it to.

I emailed the head, asking whether there were plans to ensure everyone would receive the award by the end of Y6 and received an inevitable fobbing-off response to the effect that not everyone can expect to be successful with everything and that children are recognised in other ways (this has not been particularly evident for DD this year but that's another thread...). But I really feel the sheer numbers involved means this should be a 'prizes for everyone' situation.

I am biased but DD is well behaved, works hard, and has a number of great attributes that aren't particularly hidden (plus others that go underestimated - she is autistic so just getting through a school day is much more of a challenge than many realise). This isn't right, is it??!

It's absolutely appalling that this happens. I find a lot of these awards are given to the same dc in my DDs school over and over with a handful overlooked.

I spoke to a teacher friend about it and she said that there are often 'grey children' who end up overlooked- perfectly capable but aren't loud, disruptive and don't draw attention to themselves or need attention so end up looked over. That is definitely where my poor DD sits! She's a very bright child and well behaved but fairly reserved so doesn't push herself out there much but because she doesn't need support and doesn't disrupt she's just sort of blended in.

She does notice, and the awards are almost meaningless to her now because they are so contrived. And at her school they really can be utter crap, there's a weekly award for who played best at break time 🙄 so I make sure she is praised at home, we're working on confidence and understanding herself (so not trying to force her to be faux extroverted) and rewarding her with meaningful things.

They should get 1 award a year on that system.
A school that over the course of a year can't find a single thing to pick out for a child is doing a poor job.
We had this too.

Don't get me started 😡
Daughter has asd anxiety and is selective mute in school.
They have to work in pairs a lot at her school and are handing out star of the week to whoever works with her that week and announcing on the certificate "for having to do all the talking in class this week as your partner wasn't willing! ".
Fuming is an understatement and daughter apparently never gets awarded because she doesn't put enough effort in! (She uses all her effort just attending school! )

I'm against any kind of reward scheme, at any age (including in the office) for lots of reasons:

You either reward kids for "trying hard" - these tend to be kids who don't actually achieve much because of their circumstances, and the reward is given to keep them motivated despite the odds. This pisses off and demotivates all the kids who do achieve - even if it's because they've just been born into a fortunate world. OR you reward the achievers, in which case, you need to reward all of them, and not just some of them, and you will demotivate kids whose circs mean that they will never achieve.

As a simple example, in Brownies, we tried rewarding girls for high attendance rates, but soon realised that non attendance was not something they had any choice over either because they had unsupportive parents or because they were prone to illness for whatever reason.

Your DD is in primary now, but this will continue into secondary and beyond: at DD2's EOY ceremony her friend "Amy" got a reward for attending every orchestra practice. So did DD, but DD didn't get an award. Apparently, it was "more of an effort" for "Amy" to get to after school practices, but kids don't see that, plus no-one took into account that one of DD2's parents had to finish work early every Tuesday to make sure she got to her pracitse!

In the adult world of work, individual rewards can be equally demotivation if not done well: people rarely succeed without support from someone else - mentoring, analysing information, looking after someone's diary, covering absences.... - loads of reasons, particularly if you work as part of a team.

At least it seems common in the adult world where the reward is an Olympic medal, an Oscar etc for the recipient to than "all those who helped along the way".

Yes I think that's shit

Our primary has "Star of the Week" only in yrs R-2 (one per class, weekly) and the teachers were assiduous in making sure every child "won" before anyone won a second time (unless something truly outstanding happened for a DC who had happened to have won before).

I don't disagree with the HT that not everyone can win everything, but for a standing award across the whole 7 years of primary, which by your estimate rewards 90% of pupils (some multiple times) it's really rather shit for the remaining 10%

I'm so grateful for all the moral support and will get back to individual posts properly later (after work)!

Just to clarify one thing, they run a separate initiative (in the same weekly assembly) whereby each class teacher praises a particular child for demonstrating one of the school values. As far as I can tell, that does operate fairly but we've actually asked for DD to be left out of that this year (at her request!) because (most likely due to her autism) she finds the unpredictability of possibly having to go up in assembly too stressful. (And yes, as I write this I see that perhaps a better alternative might be for her teacher to tip her off in advance so she can still be celebrated in some way but as a general rule her teacher isn't a fan of making reasonable adjustments/accommodations for her as she 'has 30 children to think about' 🙄 - as I say, whole other thread...)

The scheme I have a bee in my bonnet about is a 'Star of the School' scheme (actually run on a site basis but the numbers/probability work out the same). So for these purposes, one child a week gets called up in assembly in front of 200ish children, each of whom will attend at least 200 of these special assemblies over the course of their school career. Definitely enough assemblies for them to have a realistic chance of being recognised once in their school career; obviously turnover and to a certain extent covid lockdowns affect this a bit but not something that couldn't be overcome if the desire and proper tracking were there.

(I also fully agree that children can't expect to win/get a chance to take part in everything and we do a lot to manage expectations/disappointments at home. I very rarely request special treatment for DD, other than the bare minimum of reasonable adjustments she needs for her autism, so to have received such a dismissive response from the headteacher has really irked me.)

(Oh and also to clarify: in asking for DD to be left out of the weekly recognition scheme, I was very clear that she would be willing to make an exception for the Star of the School award.)

Oh I misunderstood.

Star of the school would be harder to ensure everyone gets picked. They'd be better off doing it less frequently so it is obvious most people won't win rather than just enough so that almost everyone does.

That is appalling. I think I'd be talking to the head and looking for a new school. And has the teacher not thought of using the odd threesome instead of a pair?

Have you spoken to her school about this? It's absolutely not acceptable to single your dd out like that. What a shitty way to make one child feel excluded and othered, I'm raging for you!

I flaming well hate these awards. They do sod all to improve behaviour and make children who get overlooked feel like rubbish.
Your poor dd is probably lovely but if she's quiet and undemanding, those children are often overlooked!!

@eatdrinkandbemerry
This is truly awful and shouldn't be happening. Please make a fuss on this one!!

I think these schemes work better when multiple children get them each week. At DDs school there can be 3 or 4, or even 5 Stars of the Week in each class. As a consequence they all get, some more than others but they all feel noticed regularly.

As an ex primary teacher I can tell you these so-called ‘awards’ are nothing but damaging for children. This includes those ridiculous ‘attendance awards’.

@Unconscionableschooldecision
you are absolutely not being unreasonable advocating for your child. Well done for calling out these crazy things.

What about talking to her class teacher instead of the head?

that is so appalling I don't know where to start!
Does your DD see a SLT who could offer a professional opinion?
what about the SENCO?

At DC's school they pick one child per class per week to get a reward ( a certificate) in assembly for something they've done that week. They're also only allowed to get it once a year, by about year 3 or 4 they've done the maths. DS usually gets one for a piece of work which is good ( he's that sort of child) but no better than any other piece he did.
Saying that DD, who has Sen and associated issues, was made up to get hers after a week when she'd really been trying.

So you don't want her recognised in the class awards. You do want her recognised in the school award. I would imagine that these two systems work together. The teacher keeps a list for her class and also has plenty of opportunity to spot the children doing small things well. The school award is more for special efforts or achievements beyond this. She hasn't had this award yet. Presumably other kids also have not had this more high profile award. I suppose they could just do it alphabetically and award it to everyone. I suppose that would also make it meaningless though. Children are very astute at whether praise is genuine or especially deserved.

In the 200 opportunities you describe over a child's school career are you actually saying that if a child gets it in y1 they can't get it again until every child from Yr to y6 has had it once? If so you are being ridiculous.

Best system: no special publicized awards. Just individual praise sent home on a postcard . My DDs schools worked like this. Very much better. No one left out over the years and no one knows about other DC in any detail. Just a “well done” from the head and a reason for the card.

As for praising DC who help a child with SEN, but not the SEN child! Words fail me. Not very inclusive!

Oh @eatdrinkandbemerry I’m so sorry, that’s just awful but sadly doesn’t surprise me anymore given some of the terrible things you hear.

To address some of the other comments off the top of my head:

I went to the headteacher because I hoped this could be fixed for all the Y6 children who haven’t been recognised yet. In doing so, I felt it would also slightly lessen the impact of me engineering special treatment for DD if there was a general effort to rectify the situation for everyone. (Can’t quite articulate what I mean by this properly.) DD’s teacher could not give less of a shit about creating a positive school experience for her; there have been a couple of serious issues. So we wouldn’t have got a fair hearing going to her anyway.

I almost would prefer it if there were lots of repeat recipients, if it meant DD found herself in a larger group of non-Stars. Or similarly, as a PP suggested, for stars to be awarded less frequently.

There is no link between the weekly recognition scheme (which is aligned with the school values) and the Star of the School award. It is fair enough that DD doesn’t want to be involved with the former - it’s a completely understandable facet of her autism that she finds the unpredictability too stressful to cope with? It should have no bearing on whether she gets a Star of the School award (and even if it did, it would hardly be onerous for the school to make a reasonable adjustment here).

The system in its current form doesn’t work - leaving 10% out is exclusionary.

The award takes the form of a lovely poem or similar tribute. It requires some effort on the part of the teacher, which I appreciate, and generally comes across as heartfelt - the children really seem to value it. So I do actually think that this particular award would be effective even if it were given on a totally predictable alphabetical-order basis - you could look forward to hearing all the lovely things your teacher had noticed about you. Every child has something great they can be recognised for after all.

Why do they not do this in a end of school celebration? It all seems ott to me! Children do respond to praise but why does it have to be so public?

I guess it would be a lot of work for the Y6 teacher, rather than spreading it out over the 7 years. Agree it is possibly also a bit too ‘in the spotlight’ for some children. Postcards home from the headteacher are a lovely idea - DD1 had one once but nothing for DD2 (the object of my current gripe) under his successor, unsurprisingly…

Ffs! That's bloody awful.

Our school keeps track and normally every child will get it at some point. The thing is though towards the end of the year you find there can be 3/4 stars of the week when their trying to get everyone to have 'won' it before they break up. I'd rather them just sack it off altogether.