School Acceptance Terrified & Overwhelmed With Stress

[Bellasara121]

Hi I’m writing this at the moment because I’m full of stress I can’t eat or sleep. So all of school places acceptances happened 2 days ago which has come as a massive shock to me because I knew nothing about the form.

My son is due to start school in September I applied him to the school nursery full time in 2022 which he was accepted and he was given a place I had no idea that I had to apply again, school did not tell me or any parents or even the local authority.

Now here is the catch this school is in my catchment area, it is physically the closet school to me, my eldest already attends this school as well and she has an active EHCP. (With my eldest she was automatically given a school place due to she attended the nursery). I physically have no transport of my own from June (my MOT/ Tax/ Insurance runs out), I cannot afford to retax / insure and MOT my car. I am normally very organised and put my car money aside ready but my sons nursery fees have used this money with nothing left over and with the cost of living on top as well which has just left me scraping by I was skipping meals so my son could go to school because he loves school and wanted to be with children his own age. So my application only went in on results day and 4 people from nursery have been rejected already. (There are 5 parents who have put it in late because they did not know either there is even a family that live physically next door to the school and it takes 2 minutes to walk there on the waiting list).

I am terrified and stressed out my mind if they try and send him to a school further away I physically cannot get 2 children to 2 different school on time and especially because I need my local school bus. On top of this I have a son with deafness at home and my weight has nearly hit 6 stone and I have anemia, where I’m currently suffering with the symptoms of extreme tiredness because of my weight and anemia and will not be able to cope with the physical demand on me with 2 school runs. Yes I have a husband but he works full time to pay the bills so the school run and child care solo falls on me.

What would you do if you were me?

The dad bears equal responsibility for this too, don't forget!

I can understand that there could have been some misunderstanding given the eldest child's scenario that caused the misapprehension that no formal application was needed. Indeed, if there are other parents who had children in the nursery who also didn't apply to the primary school then there might be a widespread misunderstanding of the process in the local area.

Each year I see the same myths and errors being discussed about school applications online and in person. Even though the schools, the LA and most nurseries give out the correct info.

"Indeed, if there are other parents who had children in the nursery who also didn't apply to the primary school then there might be a widespread misunderstanding of the process in the local area."

Quite possibly, but the difficulty is that in an ICS appeal it has to be an error by the admission authority that cost the applicant the place. The question is going to be whether this would be classed as an error in the sense of the appeals code, because there was no obligation for the LA to send out any information at all. Just to publish the prospectus on the website and to have hard copies available on request.

But if most parents have managed, despite the local authorities poor advertising, to find application forms and complete them in a timely manner, then how can it be the LAs fault that other parents failed to do so.

But it's common knowledge you have to apply to get into school?! That's what everyone does every year!! There's always a few that don't seem to click on, but it's not the schools fault, it's yours.

But, the figures you quoted are actually in your favour. The 18 that have been allocated due to distance will undoubtedly not all accept the place. They will include families who have been allocated your school as a second or third choice. This means they'll accept the place but get on the waiting list for another school. There is loads of movement between now and September every year. I work in this area and I see it all the time. If you have a sibling at the school already you'll beat everyone else on the waiting list unless they also have a sibling, then it will go to catchment or distance order.
Don't panic.

The s hook don't have to!! How would the school know who has a child that might want to go to their school? How would the school know you wanted your second child to attend the same school? You are confused because the EHCP process is different from usual so you didn't do it. You normally apply the previous year and then places are sent out now. Many people who have been allocated won't accept. It's my job in a school to process this and it happens every year that quite a few don't accept and others apply late in year after being on the waiting list or at post reallercation. Just make sure your school and council know you've missed it and they they help you apply and go on the waiting list if you talk to them.

This is odd, are they basically saying there are 26 other parents who didn't apply for places? I get the odd one might not realise but for that many?
Honestly though you can't fixate on the school not telling you, you won't win an appeal if your main argument is that school didn't tell you to apply. I'm not saying it to stick the knife in but it's your responsibility.
Didn't school have any open days/evenings leading up to the applications opening?

I can't believe that 26 parents, probably mostly sets of parents, nor anyone close to them (friends/family), had an inkling that might need to apply for a school place!?!

No, the OP thought that 26 places were offered to children out of catchment but that was based on a misunderstanding of the admissions numbers that she was shown (and posted on the thread).

She has separately said that she has been told by 5 parents that they also didn't know they had to apply, and so are on the waiting list and having late applications processed.

You are right though that an appeal is extremely likely to fail, and the best course is to remain on the waiting list and hope that there is movement before September.

I’d say if so many parents are claiming they didn’t know about how to apply for a reception place, then that’s just incredible!

It was 5 parents including the op and 2 have already been offered a space, the 3rd was rejected under distance category, leaving the op and 1 other on the waiting list. With those numbers unless this is a ridiculously small council nursery I would say the vast majority were aware (our nursery takes from outside the school catchment area because there are very few council nurseries in the area, its intake is approximately twice the reception number))

@Bellasara121 just out of interest where did you find those admissions numbers? Where you posted about siblings, looked after chn, distance etc.

You're paying fees for a state school nursery class?

Have I misunderstood that part?

I thought this too. Shouldn't really be paying fees unless they're providing wraparound care due to the 30 hours funding.

If this is England and the OP isn't working, or not many hours, they will only get 15 hours funding. They may be paying for the other hours. Or else just paying for the lunchtime provision between sessions.

@BendingSpoons yes but if she doesn't work or works little then the theory behind it is the child would go part time and use the 15 hours and be at home the rest? There would be no need to be in debt or choosing nursery or food surely?

The difference is I did what was best for my son and what my son wanted. Does he want to be stuck at home? or in class with all his friends from his local area learning to read and write. I gave up my privileges so he can be happy. His younger sibling is at home with me.

What happens if a parent just doesn't apply for any school at all, do the LEA contact them to get confirmation that the child is going to be home educated?

Surely there must be some sort of checking process to make sure arrangements are being made for every school age child?

There are further 'rounds', I expect nothing would flag until the final deadline and Jan was just the first for on time applications.

No. Nothing happens.
You don't even have to register for Home Ed currently, I think.

That's really odd@TeenDivided, how does that square with having a legal obligation to educate your child?

I agree it is odd, and think that at least registering for Home Ed should be mandatory.
If your child has to go to A&E they ask what school they attend, but if your child never starts school you can fly under the radar.

Home ed kids aren't really under the radar unless parents are completely off the grid. Most kids are seen by lots of people and professionals in the course of day to day life. School is the norm but not a default, which is how it should be.

But back to the OP, it isn't the school or nursery's responsibility because otherwise those who don't go to nursery would be at a disadvantage.

It's up to you to decide what is best for your son. Don't let a 3 year old decide to deprive you of food! 30 free hours doesn't cover 5 days a week so other children won't be doing full time. There's really no point being a martyr about this. If it's best for the family that your son does 15 hours only, then just do that.

As a school nursery there is no catchment so not all children attending will have been within the school catchment, but might hope they attend. All places have been offered within 2 miles, which if you need to get a bus to get to another school, isn't that close. If all 30 are 1st choice, then movement unlikely- you have the choice of keeping in school nursery until term after 5 hoping a place comes up, accepting a place at whichever school offered and starting, whilst remaining on the waiting list. You could explore moving your EHCP child, which is more difficult but not impossible to the school your son gets into. As parents we make sacrifices but going hungry for extra time at nursery when you are at home is not worth it, the impact on you is far greater than the benefit to 1 of your 3 children that need you or the impact if you end up limited through no transport.

Nothing about this thread makes sense to me at all.
The idea that anyone else, other than the parents, is responsible for said parents forgetting to apply for a primary school place, is pretty ridiculous.
I can possibly understand if it was a first child, but if you have already been through the process with one (or more!) children then you will be very aware of when primary school applications need to be made by each year. It doesn't change year to year (or doesn't in my LA and I'm assuming most others stick to the same schedule).
Utterly baffling!