School Acceptance Terrified & Overwhelmed With Stress

[Bellasara121]

Hi I’m writing this at the moment because I’m full of stress I can’t eat or sleep. So all of school places acceptances happened 2 days ago which has come as a massive shock to me because I knew nothing about the form.

My son is due to start school in September I applied him to the school nursery full time in 2022 which he was accepted and he was given a place I had no idea that I had to apply again, school did not tell me or any parents or even the local authority.

Now here is the catch this school is in my catchment area, it is physically the closet school to me, my eldest already attends this school as well and she has an active EHCP. (With my eldest she was automatically given a school place due to she attended the nursery). I physically have no transport of my own from June (my MOT/ Tax/ Insurance runs out), I cannot afford to retax / insure and MOT my car. I am normally very organised and put my car money aside ready but my sons nursery fees have used this money with nothing left over and with the cost of living on top as well which has just left me scraping by I was skipping meals so my son could go to school because he loves school and wanted to be with children his own age. So my application only went in on results day and 4 people from nursery have been rejected already. (There are 5 parents who have put it in late because they did not know either there is even a family that live physically next door to the school and it takes 2 minutes to walk there on the waiting list).

I am terrified and stressed out my mind if they try and send him to a school further away I physically cannot get 2 children to 2 different school on time and especially because I need my local school bus. On top of this I have a son with deafness at home and my weight has nearly hit 6 stone and I have anemia, where I’m currently suffering with the symptoms of extreme tiredness because of my weight and anemia and will not be able to cope with the physical demand on me with 2 school runs. Yes I have a husband but he works full time to pay the bills so the school run and child care solo falls on me.

What would you do if you were me?

New information that has come to light 26 parents who have been offered a place are not in the catchment area only 4 are. Because the rest of the catchment parents / children that attend the school did not know about the form.

Thank you for everybody’s comments as well yes I am reading them as I go I’m just hard at thought at the moment with all this.

You’ll probably be top of the school waiting list as you are:-
in catchment
sibling at school already

unless school has other criteria that you don’t meet?

but otherwise you’ll likely get a place off waiting list

pop in today when you pick up sibling and ask the admissions officer

Dod any of 26 have siblings? How near are the other catchment families? Is any one of them sibling priority and closer than you?

I'm not sure how you could possibly know this, but even if so they're unlikely to have their places taken away if they applied on time.

I had no idea that I had to apply again, school did not tell me or any parents or even the local authority.

Sadly the onus is on parents to apply, if they had actively told you NOT to apply and you have this in writing then you could appeal, but if its just that you weren't told then unfortunately your chances are ridiculously slim of getting anywhere with it.

Put in a late application and make sure to add relevant detail to the form, if you don't get the first choice then you can appeal, as is though you don't have any place and you need to get into the system.

Are you saying that only 4 parents in your school nursery knew that they had to apply for a place?

This is going to be a nightmare to sort if they do decide an error has been made. I highly suspect they'll fall back on the position that the only obligation for the LA in the Admissions Code is to publish on the LA website, and that this obligation was met. But it's a pretty awful situation for you all.

Were there no discussions at all with the school nursery about the fact that your child will be year R next year? Not even at parents consultations? I just can't imagine there being a situation where it wouldn't come up that 'school proper' will be starting in September.

I can imagine a situation where parents didn't realise it was needed if they were in an attached nursery who didn't mention anything. Especially if most children are eldest (or in the case of the OP the elder child has EHCP so also didn't do normal admissions). Unless one parent starts off by chatting about it, others can stay ignorant. I feel this comes under 'duty of care' from the nursery/school.

One way to solve this if there really are 20+ who didn't apply would be to put on a bulge class...

@Bellasara121 well done for going to the doctors and taking the blood test. It's hard to prioritise yourself when there is so much going on but its so so important to look after yourself properly when children are relying on you. You are doing an awesome job with sorting the school place and I am really sure that you'll find a way to sort it out before he turns five.

The next step is to make sure that you are eating enough that you have the energy to deal with this stress. You don't have to answer here but is the weight loss and anemia from skipping meals so that the kids can eat or from the stress and then not eating?

Do you have enough good food in the house to feed yourself properly? Are you able to have breakfast, lunch and dinner each day without worrying about money? If not then your next step is to find a way to put this into place. In my town the easiest way to do this is the food pantry which lets you fill a good sized shopping bag for £3. And then you can just top up a few extra bits from the supermarket. Is there anything like that near you? The doctor can also refer you to the food bank and whilst its not nice to have to ask, this is a really good way to feed your family when money is tight.

If you have enough food in the house and the weight loss / anemia is from the stress then it might be worth going back to the doctor for some talking therapy to help. Have you ever had an eating disorder or thought that you might have one? Childbirth and child rearing in the early years are so stressful and people often find that eating disorders come back when their kids are little so that's worth considering.

There were no discussions at all with school that’s why it came as such a shock. I am on the waiting list. And yes out of the 4, 2 applied late one in February and 1 March because they didn’t know and only found out about it word and mouth. 1 that did apply was rejected due to not being in catchment that’s when the council released the figures to her on why and she showed me. Which shows that only 4 children who applied were in catchment

Did any of the 4 or the non catchment 26 have siblings already attending? Is catchment defined or just distance?

It does suck but legally the school have no obligation to tell you, of course they should have but when it comes to appeals that doesn't count for much. I don't mean to be negative as I really really genuinely hope you get a place there, you need it- and can see how it feels unfair that you weren't told, I think it's just fairer to be realistic.

You could write to your local MP for support too, sometimes they can support during processes like this.

The catchment ares is a red herring, if only 4 pupils applied from the catchment area they had to give the other places to pupils who applied from outside.

The figures. There is only 1 person above me in the waiting list because they physically live on the same road as school. Didn’t know and put the application in after me.

That’s when the local authority should have picked up that something was not right.

Maybe but process is process, people who applied on time will be prioritised as is made very clear. Again, the onus is on parents to apply.

There's potentially 12 pupils in catchment, 7 siblings, 4 admitted under catchment priority and 1 in care

But that is not matching what you previously quoted, 1 LAC, 7 siblings, 4 catchment and 18 out of catchment.

Why would they? Children might have moved or be going to pruvate schools. Interesting the late applicants were given places in main allocation.

This is really really odd. Even if the very very occasional person didnt realise they had to apply for a school place, the vast majority would have, so why haven't most applied.

I understand that you have mitigating circumstances with being ill etc, but it's really not the nursery, school or council's job to remind you to apply for a place. The onus is on parents to do this.

Thank you everyone being honest with me with all 4 that are in catchment 1 is care and the other 3 have siblings.

Is that from your personal knowledge. In those the stats the LAC (the child in care)is separate to the catchment figure, likewise Siblings. So there must be more living locally who you may not know.

Yes that’s the personal knowledge that I have of the group

The 4 in catchment are neither the child in care or siblings. The categories only register a child once irrespective of which other categories they fall into, it is only ever they highest so the child in care may also have a sibling and be in catchment but they do not show in those numbers, also the 7 siblings may all live in catchment but don't register in that category as they are only assessed in the higher one.

As @BaronessEllarawrosaurus says, the 4 who are in catchment on that list will be in addition to the child in care, and the siblings. The child in care and 3 siblings may be in catchment as well, but they count in the highest criteria they fall into. So that's at least 8 in catchment, and potentially more of the siblings too.

This is all quite odd. I find it unusual, to say the least, that a number of parents in nursery/elsewhere didn't realise there was an application process required. It would require no nursery staff ever having mentioned anything to anyone, no other parents discussing applications in the playground, people not seeing posters in libraries etc, and people simply not thinking - I wonder if there is anything I should do to make sure about my place?

I'm also stunned that they released to the public that one child is in care. Even though they obviously haven't named them - that is identifying.