Page 4 | Am I right to be angry with school?

24hourmommy · 2023-04-18T17:28:49+00:00

Hi all, so my daughter is in year 3 and she has after school club on Tuesdays. But today when I went to pick her up she was crying. She had been sat not inside school but in the reception area where the doors are constantly open and visitors come and go. Nobody has informed me or noticed that she has been there for a whole hour! I asked her why she didn’t speak to any staff and tell them and she said she was scared and shy as she is not familiar with some of the staff. But surely if she had left school unnoticed it would be a safeguarding issue. I am a teacher myself but in my school children stay with a member of adult inside the school for a certain time and then parents/guardians are contacted. On schools part they have been very careless. So would you be angry if this had happened? And should I go speak to the head tomorrow, I know him very well even outside of school but I know he will get all defensive.

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electriclight · 19/04/2023 17:55

Did you get a reply op?

Original poster

24hourmommy · 19/04/2023 20:11

Update- The head has not responded yet but some teachers and the admin team spoke to me today. Their main excuses were the club teacher should have checked, the cover teacher should have told the admin team and these things happen. The SLT were all busy yesterday due to an incident that happened. A teacher did speak to her briefly and asked if she wanted to go in to choir and she didn’t have to join in but she refused. I asked why no one called me to pick her if she was upset or wanted to go home. To which I got no answer from anyone 🤦🏻‍♀️

OP posts:

Original poster

24hourmommy · 19/04/2023 20:15

Did I overreact or is school trying to down play everything 🙄

OP posts:

ButterflyBitch · 19/04/2023 20:24

I would expect them to be reviewing their processes to make sure it didn’t happen again, not pass the buck. Of course it’s a safeguarding issue and should be taken seriously. I’m quite surprised that they’re trying to make excuses. I hope your daughter is ok and feeling less upset now.

Blondeshavemorefun · 19/04/2023 20:54

24hourmommy · 19/04/2023 20:11

Update- The head has not responded yet but some teachers and the admin team spoke to me today. Their main excuses were the club teacher should have checked, the cover teacher should have told the admin team and these things happen. The SLT were all busy yesterday due to an incident that happened. A teacher did speak to her briefly and asked if she wanted to go in to choir and she didn’t have to join in but she refused. I asked why no one called me to pick her if she was upset or wanted to go home. To which I got no answer from anyone 🤦🏻‍♀️

Why was she asked if she wanted to go

It's a planned booked club

purpleme12 · 19/04/2023 21:02

This whole thing is so strange.
Absolutely you should have been called if she was asked and didn't want to go to the club

carriedout · 19/04/2023 21:06

24hourmommy · 19/04/2023 20:15

Did I overreact or is school trying to down play everything 🙄

You didn't overreact. Just wait for the written response from the Head.

If anyone else tries to discuss with you, just say 'I think it is best I just await the email from the Head'.

It si actually rather weird they spoke to you about it when the Head is going to respond. The school sounds very unprofessional!

Hungryfrogs23 · 19/04/2023 21:39

I would be questioning why after school club didn't notice she wasn't there? Our after school club take a register and if a child isn't there who should be they check whether they were absent that day/speak to their teacher/phone their parent etc. They don't just ignore it.

Retsina24 · 19/04/2023 21:43

I would be unhappy with this.
A) the ASC should have had a register and been looking to find out why your child hadn't turned up.
B) I'm surprised a member of the office staff didn't notice her still sat there and ask what was happening
C) there should be a system of letting teaching staff know who's at ASC

I would be following this up (and I'm not generally a complainer)

NCTDN · 19/04/2023 21:46

No you didn't overreact. It's not hard for someone to ring you in that instance.
I'd wait for an official answer from the head now.

Original poster

24hourmommy · 19/04/2023 22:00

Thanks everyone. That’s the problem they told me told that hopefully now everything is cleared but I firmly asked for a meeting to be arranged with the head. (He has a habit of ignoring parents) There was a lot of blaming my daughter and maybe there is something going on at home that is upsetting her which I found offensive. Her teacher asked her to join the club but when she refused then she left her sitting on her own. Admin team assumed that the teacher had dealt with the situation.

OP posts:

mamaduckbone · 19/04/2023 23:17

I would be cross, and I'm a teacher.
Yes, your daughter should have spoken up and said she was at the club, but the person running the ASC should have done a register and checked, and a member of staff should have eyes on the children who haven't been collected, otherwise how on earth do they know if they've been collected by the right person, and that everyone has been collected.
Don't let the fact that you know the staff well put you off saying something. This is actually a safeguarding issue, which the school could get into trouble for so they really need to tighten up their procedures.

Heroicallyfound · 20/04/2023 07:33

The SLT were all busy yesterday due to an incident that happened.

This is a really poor excuse. I would ask them what this has to do with it - what are they going to do to make sure that incidents don’t pull focus from the BAU running of the school and keeping pupils safe in future? What have the SLT got to do with pupils being kept safe at the end of the school day anyway? Has her class teacher (the one who released your daughter into an unsupervised position) been spoken to by the head? What is her teacher going to do differently in future? Presumably she’s in this teacher’s care most days so you want to be sure this isn’t going to happen again.

napody · 20/04/2023 07:38

24hourmommy · 18/04/2023 18:58

Exactly no register and no call. I’m familiar with the admin team and they know my kids. I did speak to daughter that she needs to be more assertive and should have asked them to call me instead of waiting for an hour.

Yeah speak to school. No need to be angry, but they obviously need to know. in most schools I've taught in ASC come to each class and collect from a list, or they're asked to go to the hall if they're ASC. But it'd probably be an idea for ASC to do a 'sweep' of the reception area in case any of their children are there?

Yes, many children would say something. But at least they'll know that your daughter might not in future! And they should probably tweak procedures. I would go in asking them to do that.

napody · 20/04/2023 07:41

24hourmommy · 19/04/2023 22:00

Thanks everyone. That’s the problem they told me told that hopefully now everything is cleared but I firmly asked for a meeting to be arranged with the head. (He has a habit of ignoring parents) There was a lot of blaming my daughter and maybe there is something going on at home that is upsetting her which I found offensive. Her teacher asked her to join the club but when she refused then she left her sitting on her own. Admin team assumed that the teacher had dealt with the situation.

She refused to join ASC? Have I missed you mentioning this before? That's totally different. I would have expected them to call you if she really wouldn't go!

napody · 20/04/2023 07:47

OK, have pieced together your posts now!

They have admitted the teacher should have told the admin team she was leaving her in the reception area. They would then have called you.

You've presumably also learned not to sign her up for clubs she doesn't want to go to! I initially assumed it was after school club ie childcare.
If you want to enrol her in a club to build confidence try brownies or something where you can take her yourself and judge whether it's right for her or causing her too much anxiety.

NurseCranesRolodex · 20/04/2023 07:49

24hourmommy · 18/04/2023 18:48

Oh sorry missed some details, they had a cover teacher and my daughter didn’t tell her that she has after school club and assumed I’m late for pick up and told her to sit in reception with the other children. I would have picked her up but was not contacted. Once all the children had gone she was sat there crying until I picked her.

Surely the ASC take a register and would need to contact you if she wasn't present. This sounds shoddy, I'd be very upset too. You're right to question safeguarding on this. I'd want to know about the register procedure that day and who is responsible for it.

itsgettingweird · 20/04/2023 07:50

The school should have a system in place to inform any cover teachers which children are going to ASC and tell them how to make sure pupils get there.

Especially nowadays where cover is required more and more.

I work in education too. You know this is something ofsted would pick straight up on. Children not being accounted for.

itsgettingweird · 20/04/2023 07:54

Heroicallyfound · 20/04/2023 07:33

The SLT were all busy yesterday due to an incident that happened.

This is a really poor excuse. I would ask them what this has to do with it - what are they going to do to make sure that incidents don’t pull focus from the BAU running of the school and keeping pupils safe in future? What have the SLT got to do with pupils being kept safe at the end of the school day anyway? Has her class teacher (the one who released your daughter into an unsupervised position) been spoken to by the head? What is her teacher going to do differently in future? Presumably she’s in this teacher’s care most days so you want to be sure this isn’t going to happen again.

Agree that's a poor excuse.

They'd have been even busier if a child of 7/8 had gone totally missing.

I know a local school who's response to everything was "are you sure nothing else is going on at home/ socially" etc to any upset child. That was secondary.

They lost a large number of pupils over a period of time because parents walked.

One actually asked a parent if their was issues socially when the meeting was about the fact they didn't have any qualified maths teachers to teach KS3. (We know there's an issue nationally) but insets of addressing the problem they tried to make out the pupil had other issues 🙄

BewareTheBeardedDragon · 20/04/2023 08:03

This is really bad and would not have happened at my kids school. It also shows a huge lack of empathy and concern to just leave her crying like that the poor little mite.

Mumdiva99 · 20/04/2023 08:08

School admin here. Mistakes happen.....but a y3 left alone and not handed over to an adult is not acceptable at all. Big failing by theh school. Yes the end outcome was she was safe, but may not have been if she'd left the building.

QuillBill · 20/04/2023 10:36

Her teacher asked her to join the club but when she refused then she left her sitting on her own.

I thought you said she didn't want to tell the teacher she had a club.

QuillBill · 20/04/2023 10:37

Not that they should have left her without making sure another adult had responsibility for her.

ChocChipHandbag · 20/04/2023 10:46

QuillBill · 20/04/2023 10:36

Her teacher asked her to join the club but when she refused then she left her sitting on her own.

I thought you said she didn't want to tell the teacher she had a club.

I read this as she was sitting in reception and the teacher saw the club and thought she could join that while she waited for her mother, but the child said no, and did not clarify that she was actually supposed to be in the club anyway.

Blondeshavemorefun · 20/04/2023 11:49

I still don't get why the op child decided she didn't want to go to the club. Or given the option not to go