Shock school allocation

[thrownspannerintheworks]

In a position we did not expect.

Live in an area close to multiple good primary schools and one exceptional one. The exceptional one is around 1 mile away but due to competition, places usually allocated within 0.2-0.3 miles.

Viewed them all with DC1 and then eventually sent to a local prep as DH was not confident of our catchment state's curriculum for able students (and were unsurprisingly not allocated exceptional state). This did work in our favour - they are now in Y3 and the education they received throughout covid was brilliant, impact of lockdowns was minimal and doing very well. We are very happy with the prep, absolutely no complaints (but would have taken the state option if we had a place in the exceptional one).

DC2 has place at the prep, deposit paid and both children excited to be at same school from September. However just found out DC2 has been allocated the exceptional school as well. The more I read about the school, all I see are positives - from the achievements of the pupils, local FB groups, Ofsted. Literally everything is overwhelmingly positive. Lots of similarities between our current prep and this school too in terms of the size, atmosphere, friendliness. When I take away the expectation DC2 has of attending the school they see daily on school run, I genuinely cannot say which one they would fit into better. I imagine they would thrive in either environment

Biggest downside is lack of wraparound care at the school (plus shorter school day compared to prep). I planned my career on children attending the prep when DC1 started, have increased commitments and would need to step down to facilitate the reduced hours.

Do I take the state option (with temporary hit to my career) and add DC1 to waiting list/accept they will be in separate schools for the next 3 years or do I just stick with my original plans? Appreciate we are in an extremely fortunate position to have the luxury of this choice

Think about your secondary school options and work back to what is best for dc1.

It shows the drop in birth rate, unfortunately it will lead to the closure/merger of many primary schools and small private prep schools in coming years.

Secondary options for both children will be state - our house is in a good location for multiple great state secondary schools and we have the option of applying for super selective states. I guess the chance of success with the latter is better from the prep but we are not set on these.

I am seeing the effect of lower birth rate at other schools in the area, some have started reducing their intake as a result. While there are no issues at the prep at present, part of me does wonder whether this maybe an issue over the next few years

My dilemma at present is whether to accept the state place or send DC2 to prep. I am so torn

Take the prep place as planned. The long term career hit almost certainly won't make up for fees saved.

Fees are only going 1 way. Take the state place and give notice asap on your private reception place but keep the option in your mind to move dc2 to private for KS2.

Think of the extra curricular differences it will make to you such as parents evenings, different sports days, shows etc, you'll have a lot more things added if they're in diff schools. As well as the obvious with two sets of school runs and pick ups.

Probably be easier to have them together.

Could you call the head of the state school and ask re numbers in your older child's year and whether they already have a waiting list?

Thanks both - your replies sum up my dilemma perfectly and I have been up all night alternating for the exact reasons you mentioned.

It is hard coming to terms with stepping back a bit in my career when I have finally started to get it where I want it post pandemic. Of course, I would do it in a heartbeat for my children but I am deliberating whether it is worth it. I would love to know how other parents at the school manage as I will only realistically be able to work from 9.15-2.30 (less on days in the office) due to the lack of provision at either end of the school day which will not allow any progression. Of course there is always a chance we would find a childminder or another family to share this with but is it worth me taking a risk on the chance this will happen...?

And yes, fees are going in one direction and whilst we are comfortable, we are making sacrifices in other areas to pay them (and increases in our income will never keep up with the fees).

Have both children at the same school if it's at all possible. The awfulness of different holidays, clashes for school plays/performances/sports days and even simple things like pick up and drop off is not to be understated.

@welshpolarbear yes it will make it really hard for me work wise while they are in different schools. With the prep school, burden falls on both DH and I because we have extended hours but he would be able to contribute very little at the state so it will all end up falling on me.

If we accepted the space for DC2, DC1 would go to top of the waiting list for a space in their year group as per their admissions policy but would still have to wait for someone to leave as the school is heavily oversubscribed.

I wouldn’t move to a school with no wraparound provision. As well as convenience, it was important to me that my DD was at a school where working parents would be the norm among her peers. Her school has plenty of wraparound provision because there is plenty of demand for it from parents. No wraparound sort of suggests little or no demand for it, and that the demographic is more SAHP / very part time. I wouldn’t want her to be the only one not able to go to the playground after school every day, for example.

Are you sure you would need to step back in your career?

If you accepted the state option you could presumably afford hire a childminder/nanny with the fees saved if you could find one and then have more flexibility rather than less.

Many many families tie a house/school move into starting the new school in September and so now is a likely time for openings.

Before you make a decision I would ring the state school and ask if they have a space in dc1 year rather than assuming a wait list.

If it was me I would prioritise both in the same school over any other concern. Then I’d work out which school you prefer.

If your preference is the state one then I’d get on Facebook and ask what other parents do for after school care.

@Vroomfondleswaistcoat @Namechange224422 the more I think about it, the more I am seeing why the consensus is to have both children at one school. I was going to contact the state to ask if I could view again before making a decision and will also raise the questions regarding spaces for DC1 before deciding.

@PurpleBrocadePeacock if both were in state, the fees savings would definitely be enough for a nanny. Would be harder with one in each place.

@BelindaBears that is a really good point and definitely something I need to think about. At current prep, pretty much all families have 2 parents working and it is all DC know, I certainly wouldn't want them to be exception either.

Is it possible that you are focusing a bit too much on KS1? I would agree with you that for KS1 the run-off between an excellent state and a good prep would be won by the state school. However, look ahead to y5-6. I don't know the two schools in question but I would expect that in a good prep the kids will be have quite a lot of teaching from subject-specialist teachers whereas the state will still have a single generalist class teacher, the prep pupils will be significantly further on in learning extra subjects like French and will have a broad and rounded curriculum. Meanwhile at many excellent-rated state schools the brightest pupils are utterly bored at the end of y5 and for most of y6 as all the drive is towards maximising SATS results. But these are only possibilities to look out for, you'll have to judge how true this is for you.

Taking a career hit is something you never know how big the impact is going to be. Be cautious.

I wouldn't take Ofsted as a basis for your choice. Their criteria keep changing and schools can get lower grades for relatively trivial reasons. Also if the exceptional school has not been inspected for some time due to a previous grading of outstanding, it may well fall - an awful lot of schools in that position are going down from outstanding to good or even Requires Improvement.

Looking at everything I think you know deep down having them together at the prep is better for your lives all round. The only reason for the state is obviously the cost.

It sounds like your career is going well and you enjoy it so to stop it in its tracks and give yourself a ton of extra work with schools will probably be very frustrating.

If you can afford it I'd send her to be with her sister and pretend in your head that you were never offered the state place

and increases in our income will never keep up with the fees).

Not in the years you pay the fees, but exponentially in the years / decades following.

Your DH was the driver in opting for private over good state schools, but it’s your career that would take the hit to send Dc2 to state…

I would not take a career hit, all other things being equal. That is not a benign action. Primary education lasts for a few years. The difference between yours and your DH's careers from you stepping back for a period could be lifelong.

Good point @KaihahUmoniiv, with DC1 having only just started prep, I am not looking at the full picture for KS2. The reason we picked this school was the rounded curriculum and specialist teaching as DC1 was completely bored in their final year of nursery and needed to be challenged. Having been through lockdowns, it was the best decision we made as the learning continued throughout.

@Rosula @FacebookFun , I listed Ofsted last in my list of positives for that reason - my view of the school is not based on Ofsted, but Ofsted does reinforce the positives. Inspection is relatively recent but I 100% would not be choosing or basing my opinion of any school on an inspection. @FacebookFun I am so sorry for your experience, as a child who was bullied in a (supposedly good) school, I still remember the stress it placed on my parents who truly believed they were making the best choice. It is my worst nightmare for my children and I hope yours are happy now

@welshpolarbear thank you, I'll be honest, if fees were not a factor, both siblings would be going where DC1 currently is. It is what we are all mentally prepared for, they are happy and we are happy. Realistically, we are budgeting £120k for primary private education per child (once fee increases are accounted for), so this offer does make me wonder... Goes without saying that we would of course be facilitating a lot more extra curricular if they were in state sector (which would also have the knock on impact on career)

@EyesOnThePies good point and I do need to reframe my thinking to beyond the primary years when looking at career impact. I am lucky to be in a career where I can temporarily pause if we take the state place and then resume when ready (as long as I continue PT work) but if I continued with progression, I would be in a much higher place by the time they finish primary

Just to clarify, I mean DC1 having started prep from pre-prep. They have been in the school since Reception

Both of mine went to Prep until secondary. I would say that the breadth of education at this point is the difference.

So really good Art curriculum, music, drama and sport - which enables children to really explore all aspects of their education at an early age.

Once you get to senior school (state) the time table shrinks down the opportunity to study these subjects in many cases (unless you remain in private).

I'd stick to the original plan with pre school.

I read somewhere that the adjustment for kids moving from private to state is a lot harder. You need to consider if it's fair to uproot your DC1 from an environment she/he has already grown familiar and comfortable. Is it worth it, if finance is not the reason?

Juggling between two sets of schedules might be harder than you think. The holiday days aren't aligned either.

There are two choices. One is known (excellent), the other is packed with uncertainty (a percentage unknown of things working out smoothly). If finance is not the concern, why would you risk so much for it?

I would go prep for the sake of them being in the same school.

Also my LO went to pre-prep before attending a renounced state infant school and the difference is massive.

@thrownspannerintheworks " I guess the chance of success with the latter is better from the prep but we are not set on these."
Don't assume this. It's unlikely that a private school would offer any more specific support necessary to get into a super selective than a state primary would.

Thanks all, the more I am thinking about it, it makes more sense to continue with the original plan. The fear is always whether I will regret my decision later (whichever decision I make), it was much easier when didn't have the choice with DC1! FWIW we would have taken the state option had they been offered it at the time and I would have planned my career around it (was still on mat leave so not fully established when they started school), just much harder now it would involve stepping back.

@CurlewKate state schools do not prepare for 11+ and the prep schools main purpose is to prepare for 11+ so it goes without saying they would be providing far more specific support for selective schools. Of course being in the school, I know the support they do provide and I cannot fault it.