Shock school allocation

[thrownspannerintheworks]

In a position we did not expect.

Live in an area close to multiple good primary schools and one exceptional one. The exceptional one is around 1 mile away but due to competition, places usually allocated within 0.2-0.3 miles.

Viewed them all with DC1 and then eventually sent to a local prep as DH was not confident of our catchment state's curriculum for able students (and were unsurprisingly not allocated exceptional state). This did work in our favour - they are now in Y3 and the education they received throughout covid was brilliant, impact of lockdowns was minimal and doing very well. We are very happy with the prep, absolutely no complaints (but would have taken the state option if we had a place in the exceptional one).

DC2 has place at the prep, deposit paid and both children excited to be at same school from September. However just found out DC2 has been allocated the exceptional school as well. The more I read about the school, all I see are positives - from the achievements of the pupils, local FB groups, Ofsted. Literally everything is overwhelmingly positive. Lots of similarities between our current prep and this school too in terms of the size, atmosphere, friendliness. When I take away the expectation DC2 has of attending the school they see daily on school run, I genuinely cannot say which one they would fit into better. I imagine they would thrive in either environment

Biggest downside is lack of wraparound care at the school (plus shorter school day compared to prep). I planned my career on children attending the prep when DC1 started, have increased commitments and would need to step down to facilitate the reduced hours.

Do I take the state option (with temporary hit to my career) and add DC1 to waiting list/accept they will be in separate schools for the next 3 years or do I just stick with my original plans? Appreciate we are in an extremely fortunate position to have the luxury of this choice

I think the obvious decision is to keep with the original plan of your second child going to the same school as your first.

Your first child won’t have to move, it fits better with work and you already know you’re happy with the school.

I don’t understand why you’re even considering the other school.

@thrownspannerintheworks Fair enough. It's not always the case, so it can be an important consideration. It can catch people out.

I agree with this - you'd already planned financially for the prep, but you'd be adding a whole load of stress to your life going to state for a temporary financial benefit, which could cause more problems in the long run

I take it the super selective state schools are grammars? If so go for the private prep as they will prepare kids for the content of 11+ — then tutoring can prepare for the nuances of the exam and practice testing.

The reason I say this is because 11+ tuition in areas with lots of grammars can have their own hoops to jump through & you’ll find the State option requires you to do run point on all of it.

Learning new content while doing State homework & 11+ exam prep is not easy for any child. But expecially so when both parents are working.

So take the option that makes your life easier even if you need to pay for it.

Thank you everyone, it is really helpful to have your opinions and also other points for me to consider.

I am considering and ensuring I have looked at all the options because we would have taken this school place without a doubt had it been offered to DC1 when they were due to start Reception. While we are happy with the choice we made, it is a significant financial cost but we have budgeted for it and, as several of you have pointed out, it is a case of looking at the long game when thinking about finances so my career needs to be considered.

Having just had a look at term dates for both schools, they barely align at all - we know the prep will always be longer holidays but they are completely out of sync for Christmas, Spring and Summer which will make going away problematic if we did want to.

Having had 3 children in 3 different schools at one point (just because of their ages) I would definitely go with having them both at the same place if it's possible and you think both will thrive in the same place. Managing different schools is possible, and sometimes unavoidable of course but logistically it is hard - managing pick up and drop off, clashes of events and different holidays just make life stressful, especially if you are juggling work as well. There was a phase when I felt like I was doing nothing except dashing from place to place desperately trying to not miss anything or leave anyone waiting for me. It's not a situation I would put myself in willingly. If there was a good reason that different schools would suit your DC better then that would be different, but given that both sound very good and suitable for both children then I wouldn't make life any harder for yourself than it has to be if I were you.

I can’t see how you will regret it if you choose to stick with your original plan. What do you think will go wrong? Definitely start dc2 at the private option. And if you do change your mind at a later date then you might be able to move both dc2 at a later date

If it makes you feel any better, often there can be similar headlines for privates and and state schools but the reality is very different. Eg in my kid's state primary, they offered dance club, nature club, violin tuition etc. But the reality was that there was only 15 places for a year size of 60, so more often than not, your child was left disappointed. In a prep school, as far as I'm aware, if you want to go to dance club, you get to go to dance club.

I would stick with your original plan - this is not the time to be taking a career hit and life will be a lot easier with both kids at the same school.

My DC are at state primary and my working day starts at 9.30 after the school run and stops at 2.50 when I have to leave to pick them up...it is very difficult to fit a full working day's effort into that short a time. Especially as I then have to take them to various clubs after school so I can't go back to work and do a couple more hours.