7yr old failing at every subject

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Just had our 7yr olds report home last night and they have a marking system of exceeding, meeting targets and then below expectation. He got below expectation in every category. The categories were reading, maths, writing and one I didn't understand and can't remember the initials of (son threw the report in the bin as it made him sad).

It also commented that his attendance is above average, his behaviour is fine and he is always prepared for lessons. Should I not have had an email or something before now if he's doing so badly?

He does all of his homework including times tables, a maths programme and instead of his reading book we read books of his choice with him. He read the entire Mog the cat book to me last night only hesitating over the odd word.

Our older son remarked that he was reading Diary of a Wimpy kid books at 7. Yes but he hadn't had much of Reception and Year one taken away from him!

We do his homework, we read with him, we take him on interesting days out to museums, castles, National Trust places and talk about history with him. He does Beavers and spends time with grandparents. What more could we be doing? I'm at a bit of a loss. To me he seems like a normal inquisitive 7yr old.

There was a question during covid as to whether he could be autistic but we have worked really, really hard with him to improve his social skills and he now has friends. We took him to a science fair in half term and they asked for a volunteer to get on stage and his hand was straight up, he got on stage and did really well. He was destroyed by the lack of school during covid and we are so proud to have got him back to how he is now. He used to hide behind the sofa if anyone came to the house, now it doesn't bother him.

Yes mine are exactly like that, and noisy classrooms and noisy playgrounds wear them out day to day too, constant sensory attrition. We did pay, they got so discouraged - it doesn’t sound as though things are that bad yet, you can certainly hire a tutor (helped confidence hugely) and back up learning at home.

there are anti stress noise reducing earbuds that can work for older kids (they are small so easy to lose)!

SN provision in many schools (not all) is utterly insufficient and failing.

We didn’t have these exams and reports at age 7, he’s 7!!!!! It really angers me that schools do this. It’s terrible.
Some children just aren’t academic and that’s okay. Some children learn at a slower pace. As long as he enjoys school, is happy that’s an achievement.

Practice reading and his numbers at home if he’s happy too. We use numberblocks on YouTube.

A 7 year old should not be worried about grades and neither should the parent (or at least don’t show it).

Quite.

Its a catch 22 for the school. Loads more kids without proper educational plans / diagnosis with worst behaviour due to delays from covid. No diagnosis no funding. No funding, inadequate resources. Inadequate resource = needs not met.

We've got a whole bunch of issues in DS's class with one child. Parents refused intervention earlier. Child doesn't get proper supervision by parents (which I've witnessed - children repeatedly hurt before school when child is supposed to be in parental care. Parents not even aware of it happened). Child is now totally out of control. So actually I do judge them.

We've had yet another incident yesterday which involved a member of staff refusing to intervene despite the school telling DS to do exactly this (hes supposed to be separated from this kid too due to ongoing incidents).

School (up to now) have been very good. I'm in despair over it. I'm trying to avoid the other parent as I may well give her both barrels at this point if she does the 'poor johnny' routine again given the deliberately malicious intent going on. (Which he DOES understand but continues to do).

We've been extremely patient and tolerant (the head has actually commented on how we haven't been unreasonable and have been understanding that the situation is complex due to additional needs).

But there reaches a point where it just becomes beyond that point. Its clear this kid needs a level of support the school can't provide. Its not in his interests to stay in mainstream education. But everything has to go through process and resistant parents make it much much worse. In the meantime my son has to be a punching bag who has to not respond to attacks otherwise it just gets thrown back at him. He's being a superstar, but its not fucking fair in the slightest. Especially when there's clearly parent politics going on about how 'mean' we apparently are.

I am aware of two other parent who has definitely complained about physical and emotional abuse. Two who I strongly suspect have quietly complained (including the best friend of the mother). And I've been told that another is considering doing so by one of the parents who has complained. That would make six sets of parents in a class out of 27 sets of parents. One kid left at the end of last year because of how bad the class was.

Moving DS doesn't seem a good idea. He has a very strong close friendship with another boy, the only other local schools are in the same Trust and from what I'm hearing from friends who are teachers and on MN is that Yr3 across the country is being plagued by similar situations.

Its a farce and its clearly the bloody system having a big black hole - especially where disengaged / resistant parents come into it.

The little boy in question needs help. He's being failed more than anyone. But the system is useless. This isn't my fault. It isn't DS's fault.

My son and his classmates should have the right to go to school and not be hit on a daily basis in the name of inclusivity. How fucked up is it that they are being expected to? Bullying is zero tolerance but if your kid has SEN please crack on... Give over. How dare anyone suggest this is reasonable and something we should accept.

Its completely fucked up that they are being expected to, and then you have dickheads saying 'won't you think of the poor special kid'. Yes, been there done that, DS is being assessed himself.

Its about balancing needs. If a classroom becomes the 'Little Johnny Show' because of their needs, thats not balance.

People who try and guilt me out of trying to protect my son and point out how much its disrupting the rest of the class's education can fuck off to the far side of fuck.

Absolutely @RedToothBrush in fact HT said to me only last week that the 3rd year were where most of the additional effort was focused at the moment. So many schools facing this.

i heard of a parent posting injuries on class WhatsApp to get attention.

I've got 2 diagnosed, and I have no time for people that use that as an excuse for violence - it’s a smoking gun for the setting not being suitable.

Kids with SEN need additional parenting. You can't just treat them like their peers and expect it all to be fine. I think this is part of the problem - a growing mentality that all behavioural issues are for the school to deal with and a complete abdication of responsibility from a minority of parents.

Being SEN shouldn't be something that parents can hide behind. It is though.

And often its the OTHER SEN kids who are most badly affected by the needs of one exceeding what the school has the ability to provide.

But no one ever says that.

Absolutely if the kid is acting out violently every day it is very unlikely that the setting is suitable.

Certainly if you feel your kid is endangered every day then don't keep sending your kid into that environment.

But don't start a thread saying 'my child didn't meet age related expectations and also there are two severely disabled kids in his class' as if the two are causally related.

Try not to worry - my son was below expectation in everything for years, then suddenly and with no nagging from us, he started studying hard in his last year and passed everything !! To say we were shocked is an understatement

I totally agree - I cringe when I’m on groups with the all behaviour is communication stuff - it’s fine as a statement but you need to decide it and take action and ‘my child is being triggered’ - yes, what are you doing to help?

it’s a bigger problem - when you get a diagnosis,
the whole family has to make adjustments, and some parents can behave as if the adjustments just happen elsewhere to facilitate them.

it is so hard though to get children into a school setting that works for them, all of the ASL schools cost more for councils so you need to make a huge effort. The other side of it is that it’s really hard even if you’re fully engaged to get the right support.

If the OP had started a thread saying 'I think the school is doing a poor job meeting the needs of two disabled kids in my son's class - my son might actually have some additional needs himself and he's clearly not meeting the age related standards in his report - should I move him?' then I would ask questions about his rate of progress and say maybe move him.

But OP wants to believe that because she is a "good" parent who works hard, she can fix any issues her son might be having. She didn't raise the issue of the disabled kids from a point of meeting needs at all.

I have four children and I never, ever, EVER pay attention to their grades. It's the effort, the behaviour and the child you need to see and praise appropriately. A 7 year old isn't 'failing' and if he read the whole report and it made him sad then I assume he's a pretty good reader.
Not everyone is good at everything. Find his strengths, focus on that, encourage and praise. That's all he needs. He certainly doesn't need 'failing' attached to him at 7!!

I would make sure you read the books given and ask questions as he reads or after he reads to make sure he understands what he reads. That is very important part of reading, that he is taking it in. Once he gets to a certain level, then it is fine he selects books he wants and reads on his own. Or if you have the level required at home for him to read (the school type reading books too), that is fine. My ds would read some of the books they sent home, but we had many reading books at home already (the ones they send home), so we would use though, and I would move him along as I felt he was ready.

AmericasfavoritefightingFrenchman · Today 11:56
If the OP had started a thread saying 'I think the school is doing a poor job meeting the needs of two disabled kids in my son's class - my son might actually have some additional needs himself and he's clearly not meeting the age related standards in his report - should I move him?' then I would ask questions about his rate of progress and say maybe move him.
But OP wants to believe that because she is a "good" parent who works hard, she can fix any issues her son might be having. She didn't raise the issue of the disabled kids from a point of meeting needs at all.

What? It isn't the OP's job to either fix the situation neither should she need to 'raise the issue'. The school should be fully aware of it and should not be expecting parents of the other children to put up and shut up. At no point did the OP say the two issues were 'causally linked', either, she simply pointed something out that is relevant.

I do think it is relevant. OP is trying to find out what is 'normal'.

Sadly I think the reality is that yr3 classes having massive issues with uncontrolled behaviour (which may include SEN kids) is far more common than it should be.

And parents should be talking about this and making a fuss about it.

I genuinely think it's really common at that age. Both mine got "below expectations" for every subject until they were in years 5 or 6. They're now doing really well. I get glowing reports and one of my children is classed as "exceptional" in a few subjects. I remember panicking when I first saw all these "below expectations" but then I saw them catch up. Don't worry!

Anecdotally you will be highly unlikely to find a state school where the class won't have a highly demanding child that needs more support than the school can provide. The ECHP system cannot cope with the number of referrals so the school try to put their own support in place but there aren't enough staff. It's a distressing situation for the child with SEN, the rest of the class and the teaching staff.

You could move him to another school and find the situation repeats itself.

Your options for avoiding this are independent school or home schooling.

Regarding the below expectations thing, quite often it's a box ticking exercise and by reading different books and not focusing on the (admittedly dull books) provided by school they can't put a tick in that box.

The books DD is given by school she could have read fluently two years ago but we just play the game and humour the system.

He was just laughing at him reading Mog, as brothers do. As he said it was too young for him. You should knock this sibling bullying on the head.

Is he year 3? I have a year 3 and reading Diary of a Wimpy kid is about right. Year 3 should have finished the phonics books and onto chapter books with a bit of pictures. Like Tom Gates, David Wailliams. But if he’s year 2 then he will still be on reading scheme.

However he hasn’t failed. The teacher has flagged it up and you just need to work with them to improve.

My year 3 is badly affected by Covid. She lacks the social confidence DC1 had at the same age. She has social anxiety. I’m sure it’s linked to spending a lot of time at home during year R and year 1. She isn’t behind in reading but I’m sure lots are.

DC1 had extra support from school in reception and KS1. But she caught up and was in the top set for Maths in Year 6 SATS. She reached expectations for all her subjects.

Help him gain confidence and as you can see yourself he’s doing great despite the set back.

Im a teacher and a parent of a Yr 2 chid and Yr 4 child. I’ve had so many worries about my elder child’s progress so
i do understand.

Firstly you say you don’t read the reading book but what he wants to read, whilst that’s great he needs to read the reading book to practise certain sounds. It also will progress so he will be challenged.

With my daughter she needed to work on fluency, too much stoping and starting and guessing. We’ve been doing lots of extra reading.

Id google expectations for his year group by end of the year to see where he needs to be in July. Try practising mental maths questions in the car or 5 minutes here and there. Ask to see his work so you can pinpoint where he’s struggling and go over it.

Writing is harder but even short bursts will help on a topic he’s interested in.

Finally lots of praise and don’t show him how worried you are.

Is his eyesight ok?

I had shamefully bad reports at infant school, until it was realised I couldn't see the blackboard.

Eye test and specs fixed it.

@RedToothBrush I'm so sorry you're going through this. It sounds awful and I hope the more complaints that are made, the sooner the situation can be remedied.

My mam is a HLTA and I'm sure she said that by complaining you are actually helping the child with SEN as it increases their chances of them getting the support they need.

My son has also had violence towards him by one of these children (thankfully not now as he has constant supervision) and I find it hard to get my head round that we're supposed to think it's okay that out children experience violence at school just because they are children. I work in a setting which could easily turn violent but I have a burly security guard protecting me!

I am doing his school reading book now with him even though it's boring!

Yes we had his eyes tested a couple of months ago and they were fine too. I'm not worrying about his progress now. All of the reassuring comments on this thread have been great thank you.

@SnowAndFrostOutside yes he's year 3. He seems much younger than our eldest was at that age. Sure he'll catch up though.

@ItsNotReallyChaos yes I don't think moving him would really benefit him. He's worked so hard at his friendships at this school.

What a lovely and very helpful post! ❤️

Maybe think about picking up a couple of "cool"😎 books in the library. Dogman and Captain Underpants were popular when mine were that age. They are graphic novel style and very accessible.

That's disgusting about the school using the 'sad faces' icons. Please email the Head and complain. Some kids will always be towards the bottom of the class (not saying he is or always will be or anything) but seriously, that's so damaging.

For gods sake, the teacher apologised

My mam is a HLTA and I'm sure she said that by complaining you are actually helping the child with SEN as it increases their chances of them getting the support they need.

It is one of the reasons we are doing it. If the parents aren't being proactive then giving the school information and raising complaints helps them to help the child. I don't think its fun for any party but thats how the parents have decided to play it so we don't have a lot of choice anyway.

As for the reading books for school - the banded books are crap. They are for skill more than enjoyment though.

I echo about Dogman, Bunny v Monkey or Investigators as great books to get your boy reading for fun (The first two are mega popular with the boys in my sons class - they are supermarket deal books which is a big plus)