7yr old failing at every subject

[Umbrio]

Just had our 7yr olds report home last night and they have a marking system of exceeding, meeting targets and then below expectation. He got below expectation in every category. The categories were reading, maths, writing and one I didn't understand and can't remember the initials of (son threw the report in the bin as it made him sad).

It also commented that his attendance is above average, his behaviour is fine and he is always prepared for lessons. Should I not have had an email or something before now if he's doing so badly?

He does all of his homework including times tables, a maths programme and instead of his reading book we read books of his choice with him. He read the entire Mog the cat book to me last night only hesitating over the odd word.

Our older son remarked that he was reading Diary of a Wimpy kid books at 7. Yes but he hadn't had much of Reception and Year one taken away from him!

We do his homework, we read with him, we take him on interesting days out to museums, castles, National Trust places and talk about history with him. He does Beavers and spends time with grandparents. What more could we be doing? I'm at a bit of a loss. To me he seems like a normal inquisitive 7yr old.

There was a question during covid as to whether he could be autistic but we have worked really, really hard with him to improve his social skills and he now has friends. We took him to a science fair in half term and they asked for a volunteer to get on stage and his hand was straight up, he got on stage and did really well. He was destroyed by the lack of school during covid and we are so proud to have got him back to how he is now. He used to hide behind the sofa if anyone came to the house, now it doesn't bother him.

Hi OP, please don't worry that your son is failing. 'Below expectations' covers everything from being unable to read at all, for example, to not yet having demonstrated one key skill at a time when the teacher was looking. It's really worth asking at the parents evening for a bit more detail about where and why he is below expectations. Given you've not had feedback about concerns up til now it ought to be a small thing.

It sounds like you're supporting him really well. Reading what he wants to read is great to foster his enjoyment, Mog or anything else, and unless he is really resistant reading his school book too will help him to progress in a way that is really visible to his teachers. My year 3 DC has sometimes struggled because he gets bored of his school book, and doesn't read it enough to prove to the teacher that he can meet a particular expectation.

But also please don't blame 'two severely disabled children' for your son's rate of progress. Either your son is going to be able to catch up to the expected levels with your continued support, in which case he doesn't need to begrudge his classmates the chance to learn too. Or maybe it will be the case that he will continue to learn at a slower pace and you might discover the concerns about autism were not unfounded. In which case you will feel pretty crumby for resenting these children when you are also in need of extra support.

I suspect the report was in a sealed envelope, and wasn't actually addressed to your DS. It was probably addressed to 'The parents of DS'.

If that were the case, your DS absolutely shouldn't have read that report, and I would be having a stern word with him about opening an envelope that wasn't addressed to him. I also hope you fished it out of the bin, because it wasn't his to throw away: it was yours.

I absolutely agree with the general trend of comments though: 'below expectation' does not mean 'failing'. I hope the 5 minutes with the teacher today is reassuring.

@Umbrio
I think your DH needs to wake up a bit. Not keeping it private was stupid. At least DS could read the report. So he’s ok at reading.

I would make sure he reads what the school require every night. It’s not much to ask. Mog books were written for under 5s so I would read more advanced books to him. What is he interested in? Also get books for him to read that are designed for emerging readers. Your library would guide you. He will probably just remember the words in Mog.

I would mention the sad faces to the head. I’ve never heard of anything so awful. Schools should be about reinforcing good work and behaviour. No child deserves this on a report.

How well did he do last year? If he was meeting expectations then, what’s happened since? Is teacher over cautious regarding assessment? Schools don’t assess on topics not taught. So he cannot be assessed against the full curriculum for y3. He’s not done it! They should be able to tell you where he needs to improve and how you can work with him to help. He might need more help with building block type work but keep him enthusiastic and happy. Don’t let it be a slog but he’s not a baby so branch out with the reading material.

Another one saying don’t panic but do work gently on it.

DS1 was ‘working towards’ both gross and fine motor skills at the end of Y3…he’s now (Y5) playing county cricket…they can suddenly make great leaps (although least said soonest mended about DS1’s handwriting).

Your boy is doing a brilliant job. You care, doing your best to support him and encouraging reading. My DS2 is a couple of years older than your boy. He has not been given a school reading book since starting infants. I have just insisted that he read something from our bookshelf at home every day. By this age it really does not matter as long as the child is reading and is not totally turned off it.

My eldest boy was always below expectations in everything throughout primary school. It is definitely worth asking for more information. I tried to focus on asking how far behind he was, was the gap between where is is and where he should be getting bigger, smaller or staying the same and what can we do at home to help.

Others have reassured he isn't failing so I just reiterate that. It sounded like we have same age children and my youngest is similar which is in stark contrast to his older sibling and I think homeschooling had a big impact. Our Y3 children missed most of reception and year 1 which are formative for lots of key learning and I think my youngest has really struggled with every subject as a direct result. I also struggled with home schooling as I had a full time job, 2 children and had to support a really traumatised team, it wasn't my finest time and i feel guilt about all the learning my kids didn't do but it is what it is. It may not be that but just sharing my experience. i also think at 7 they are often not doing the things they will go on to shine at.

Our school do email reports now, but prior to that they came in sealed envelopes addressed to 'parent/carer of xx'. If the school aren't doing that I would flag it up, if they are your DS should know not to open stuff not addressed to them.
As others have said year 3 missed so much of the basics due to Covid and no allowance is being made for that in the expectations.

The envelope was addressed to The Guardians of child. He just saw his name and opened it as he was bored. This really isn't a big thing, I'm not concerned about him doing that.

The disabled children in his class are disruptive, so much so that the children are regularly having to leave the classroom for their own safety as furniture is being thrown around. I don't think anyone can say that does not have an affect on the education of the rest of the class. The poor teacher or children shouldn't be having to deal with that. I've been into the classroom myself and witnessed it happening. Actually one of the children has just got a place in a specialist school so that might improve things.

Also, even if my son turns out to be autistic, he is not at all disruptive so I'm not sure what relevance bringing that up was!

Anyway we spoke to his teacher today who apologised for the smiley faces and said there had been many other complaints. We have a plan going forward and she's actually very happy with his reading. He just hasn't been practicing his school book enough. She said most of the class are on the same level book as him. She did say he is very concerned about his friends and needs to focus more on his work.

We feel better about it though so I thank those who reassured me.

Hello! Just wanted to reply to say please don’t worry! I have a 7yr old (Aug born) so has always been one of the younger ones in the class! Up until year two I was constantly told how others in the class were at a different level and he was slightly behind etc but they always mentioned to me he tries his best and they couldn’t ask anymore!

by the sounds of your little one he is trying! My son is in year 3 doesn’t turn 8 until August, he’s on level 3 (yellow book band).. we have recently had to move to a new area and I’m dreading this coming parents evening incase it’s affected him in anyway with his learning/development! He moved midway through this school year (before Christmas).. however the parents evening in his old school at the start of the year said how well he was doing and how independent he became etc!

I’ve let you know all of this because I remember the teachers saying to me “it will just click” “reading comes before writing” etc.. and it seems to have clicked 🤞.. I’m just hoping this parents evening is the same and he’s not behind with anything again!

best thing to do is reward him! Give plenty of praise, he sounds like he has confidence which is what is needed massively! When his brother says things about his reading level just say a simple “everyone works at different levels” so to make them both aware that learning comes in stages and not everyone will be exactly at the same stage.. some may be better and reading, writing, group work, maths, creativity/art etc.. if ever he feels down or thinks he hasn’t done as well make him aware that he’s doing everything he can and one day it will all make sense for him! I did this with my son..

I was extremely worried and eventually I thought naa he’s doing what he can and I just let him get on with it and praised him when he did well in school.. it seemed to of worked!

he will get there, I remember some mums saying to me it wasn’t until there child was in Highschool that things started to click.. Covid also hasn’t helped matters!
always keep communicating with the teacher though and see where are the areas he’s struggling with to help a bit at home, you sound like you’re doing great! Keep going as you are and eventually it will all fall into place ❤️

I'm glad you have a plan op but just a word of caution re the reading. If you son is reading white books and it is the same for the rest of the class that would concern me a little given kids are supposed to be at lime books by the end of year 2. Just might be an indication of the standards at the school or maybe specifically in that class.

I disagree with this and suspect it's to do with how quickly some schools rush children through the levels. My average Y3s are on White or Lime at the moment as I find is usual at this stage in the year. They hit expected standard in Y3 and our reading SATS results in Y6 are well above the national average (some years they've been 100%).

Have a read about growth mindsets. You'll realize this is an absolutely key teaching moment in your sons life.

@Bleese - nothing to do with schools rushing through levels - it is the expected level per the curriculum

home.oxfordowl.co.uk/reading/reading-schemes-oxford-levels/oxford-reading-tree-levels/

That's sad to hear!

Children that young are learning new skills. If you equate it with a practical skill like driving, some people need 20 hours of lessons, some 40 or even more to be ready to pass. At the end of it the 40 hour learner is no less competent than the 20 hour one.

Don't panic. Continue praising and supporting and he'll get there.

You need to consider your child's individual journey. That context would make a huge difference to what "below expectations" means at Y3. For example,

Child A - reached GLD in Reception, achieved the age-related expectations in Y2 and is now below expectations. This would be a cause for some concern as it suggests the rate of progress for the child has slowed considerably since starting KS2. That's what has caused him/her to be given "below".

Child B - didn't reach GLD in Reception, was working towards the expectations in Y2 and is now below expectations. This child is likely making reasonable progress and is "below" simply because his/her starting points were already behind the age-related expectations when starting school.

Same grade but two very different pictures.

Children are individuals.

The blunt tools we have as teachers don't take that into account. All the standards, flight plans, schemes expect every child to progress in the same way every day of their school life.

They don't take into account a child's health, individuality, home life and just life in general.

Ask his teacher where he is in relation to the majority in the class. Children who had lockdown instead of reception really didn't start school until a year later, I would not be surprised if the entire cohort are not as expected.

I would definitely complain about the use if smiley /sad faces for attainment. I assume they mean below age related expectations which many children will be and some of then will never achieve age related expectations, how awful to send the message that they are failing. I always try to give lots of positive comments on everything other than attainment for students who are struggling. In my experience primary are a bit useless at flagging up kids who are below expectation. If you have concerns I would raise them with school, and repeat every year until someone listens to you.

I'm a parent of a yr3 boy - good school, nice area

My understanding is yr3 across the country are performing way below where they normally would be due to COVID.

There are kids in my son's year who have parents who I'm amazed at who are at the below standard (one is a sahm who was formerly a primary teacher at infant level). She's been all Facebook happy showing all the wonderful activities they've done during lockdown.

The kids doing well are the exception rather than the rule atm.

DS class is having massive issues with behaviour. I have to go in and make (another) complaint this morning due to bullying and my son being punched.

The teacher has said she's never dealt with a group with so many problems before.

DS's behaviour is good. But the behaviour of others is massively impacting on him. There no funding and kids who would have normally had an assessment don't which means there's less money.

Your son is not failing. The education system is failing him . And that's not the teachers fault.

That system sounds very old fashioned. Our school has a system where they note the learners progress, a wow moment and some tips for them to work on next. They place a lot of emphisas on attitude helpfulness, engagement is always highlighted.

At the parent teacher meeting (one a term if needed) we get a clear picture and idea how they are placed in class and nationally - broadly not a pecking order.

It’s really good that you got some reassurance and a plan for what to do next. I do agree that the smiley faces are even worse than the usual traffic lights so it’s good that the school is aware of the misstep.

The relevance is that those ‘disruptive’ children aren’t “bad” and neither are their parents- they are not “stealing resources” from the rest of the class- they are struggling with massive amounts of distress from unmet needs. If your son is autistic he is also likely to experience unmet needs in the future, the world being what it is, and the accusation of taking up resources, and you have no idea how he will react to that.

You have had lots of supportive and encouraging comments, including from me. Those two children’s parents will very likely have also received a report full of sad faces, with a side helping of judgement and blame from the rest of the class parents like you. If you might be in a glass house you’d better not risk throwing stones.

I am not judging those children or their parents, however their behaviour is disruptive to learning and awful for everyone to witness. I never accused them of taking resources away from other kids.

Unfortunately that disruption, while not their fault, could affect the educational outcomes of the class overall. You seem to be blaming me for this. Lots of other parents in the class have the same opinion.

Blame the government not me!

that must’ve been a horrible shock! I sliding panic early primary is so easy to turn around.

I have two non disruptive kids who are autistic - and it’s not just about social stuff, my children panic as they often don’t hear all the instructions properly, struggle to focus and stay on track, it can definitely affect learning. My children do infinitely better with small classes.

I don’t think I’d be happy with a school that sent even parents levels with sad faces…and my dd loved Mog at 7 and I still love Mog.

I am blaming you for holding such a silly opinion. Your son can read and express his wishes and preferences. He’s going to be fine. Not one of his classmates is going to be standing up in 20 years saying ‘if only I hadn’t had to share a classroom with a disabled kid in y3, I would have had a phd from oxbridge by now.’

I am suggesting you should have some compassion for parents who this weekend where in a very similar situation to you, with a worrying report, but if they come onto mumsnet they just get to see you complaining that it’s their kids’ fault.

@user567543 yes that's what I was trying to say. My son is quiet and cannot stand loud noises or shouting and fighting. He is very much distressed by the behaviour in the class. None us can shout for any reason at home as he gets scared by it. He would be definitely better in a smaller class. I don't think there are any round here without paying though.

It's a shame as our older son did really well in the same school. He's a different character though.

I am allowed my opinion whether you think it's silly or not. My priority is my own child and sending him to a school where he will be safe and free from danger of chairs being thrown. Sorry if that upsets you.

Make your own thread if you want to raise awareness about this instead of hijacking mine.