Prep School commute too much or do-able?

LondontoBucks · 2023-01-31T22:47:36+00:00

We are trying to move to Bucks from London as our dd will start reception in September. We have found a new build house we’re keen on but probably won’t be completed till Dec/Jan. So we’d need to commute for the first term or so - it’s a lot of miles so involves motorway driving but is against traffic so looking at 30-35 mins each way. For a term. Do people think this is reasonable or a nightmare? We don’t want to rent for just a few months and in a way I think our daughter might feel more settled starting a new school without a house move at the same time… any thoughts?

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Piffpaffpoff · 31/01/2023 22:54

Definitely do-able for a term no bother - there’s plenty around me doing that or longer every day.

Couchpotato3 · 31/01/2023 22:55

I did that sort of commute with my children at that age for a while and it was fine. They actually quite enjoyed having the down time in the car at the end of the day and we chatted about what they had done. By the time we got home, they had had a snack and a rest and off-loaded about their day and they were ready for a play or whatever. Sometimes they just napped. It wasn't so good getting them up and out in the morning, but we sometimes did things like reading or listening to songs that they were learning. I enjoyed all the chats on our trips to and from school and missed taking them when we moved and they could walk.

Orangetapemeasure · 31/01/2023 22:55

We commute 40 minutes each way, every day and will do for the next 9 years.

Catnary · 31/01/2023 22:56

We have a 20 minute door to door commute across less than 2 miles within London. That journey time would be perfectly bearable for the child for a term, and it’s quite fun to chat in the car, you can have a playlist on Amazon music, play Yellow Car etc.

But you need to be realistic about your time commitment - is it really 35 mins max or are you going to have to allow at least 50 mins in case of unforeseen delays? Don’t forget that being repeatedly late for school really isn’t acceptable so you do have to build in a lot of margin, even if it means you end up waiting outside if you get there early.

Do you work? If yes, that is going to involve you/her father (presuming you’ll share the school runs) leaving work very early or starting quite late. Perhaps there is after school club though?

LIZS · 31/01/2023 22:57

How old is dd? Might be a lot for a 4yo , less problematic for a 7yo , unless you add in after school activities, concerts , parents evenings etc. would you spend 2+ hours driving or stay local for the duration.

Catnary · 31/01/2023 22:58

LIZS · 31/01/2023 22:57

How old is dd? Might be a lot for a 4yo , less problematic for a 7yo , unless you add in after school activities, concerts , parents evenings etc. would you spend 2+ hours driving or stay local for the duration.

It says Reception in the OP.

LIZS · 31/01/2023 22:59

Ah so it does.

BigotSpigot · 31/01/2023 23:01

I wouldn't do it, you may find it takes much longer on some days which would be very stressful, and it will always be exhausting for your daughter and perhaps not the best start to schoo life. Couldn't you just delay her starting until the January term and keep her in nursery where you until then?

BungleandGeorge · 31/01/2023 23:03

how Many miles is it? I’m pretty doubtful it will be 35 minutes at peak times and the traffic around schools/ finding a space to drop off/ walking into school with them usually takes a good 15-20 minutes on top. Will you be going there and back in one journey?

Floralnomad · 31/01/2023 23:05

We did a 20-25 minute commute everyday for the prep ours went to , it was fine .

Catnary · 31/01/2023 23:05

BigotSpigot · 31/01/2023 23:01

I wouldn't do it, you may find it takes much longer on some days which would be very stressful, and it will always be exhausting for your daughter and perhaps not the best start to schoo life. Couldn't you just delay her starting until the January term and keep her in nursery where you until then?

An independent school won’t be interested in that, they’ll fill the place with someone who is available to pay for the whole year.
Also, nurseries don’t tend to want school age children.

BookwormButNoTime · 01/02/2023 06:44

It will be absolutely fine for a term. Some pupils at our prep have journey times of 45 mins on a permanent basis.

I would make sure you factor in traffic around the school itself and not just the commute out from London. It can take 20 mins to go half a mile in my town at school drop off time - annoyingly I have to get through that to get to our school!!!! Also check out the parking and drop off arrangements. Prep school car parks can be carnage trying to find a place.

RachelSq · 01/02/2023 06:50

If you’re 100% sure you’re moving I would do the commute to save upheaval later and get the school you want.

Original poster

LondontoBucks · 01/02/2023 08:05

Thanks all, that’s really reassuring. We really want her to start the new school on Day 1, along with everyone else. I work part time and remotely and there is a big health club near the school which I can work from some days so I stay local and other days I’ll come back and my husband will do the pick up. We’ll just figure it out between us. It’s far but a fast journey - I check every morning on Google maps the journey time at school rush hour and it’s usually 30-35 mins, never been above 38 mins. I’ve also been a few times at that time and it’s consistently taken around that amount of time - I think because I’m leaving London there’s hardly any traffic. Good point about where I’d park once there so I’ll speak to the school about this- it’s a pain and not ideal I know but we’re thinking better than having her join a few months in and also better than a rental and two moves.

OP posts:

LIZS · 01/02/2023 08:11

@Catnary If op paid for the time she did not attend, to hold the place, I am sure the school would not mind. Socially, play dates and parties, would be awkward.

Hardtobelieve123 · 01/02/2023 08:42

We did this for my DS since reception. I’d rather have sent him to a closer school for social / play date reasons but we made it work. It was the best school so we just got on with it.

it’s definitely not ideal and I needed to buy a lot of audio books and snacks to make the commute better for the children.

Scottishgirl85 · 01/02/2023 08:45

Which school is it? We're in Bucks and traffic can be crazy... My commute is 45mins to drive 12 miles :-)

MontyK · 01/02/2023 09:22

Ours is a 20 min drive each way which I do find a bit of a ballache but it's complete doable. However we are rural so thankfully I don't have to contend with traffic jams.

Usernamehell · 01/02/2023 09:43

It will be tiring and annoying but it’s for one term so I would do it. I would also prefer for my child to start with all the others at the beginning.

I didn’t do after school activities for either of my children in their first term of reception so they could settle down and adjust to the new routine and we didn’t have many play dates for the same reason. When you move you can arrange local activities near school

Catnary · 01/02/2023 10:13

It sounds like you will be picking up at 3:30 rather than after an extended school day with after school club. That should make it more bearable. The actual journey is no big deal, and if for only a term, definitely worth it.

SpaceMonitor · 01/02/2023 10:29

Your daughter isn’t actually compulsory school age for that first term so you could skip it entirely if you wanted to and the school agreed. Or you could negotiate a shorter week for the first term so she’s not having a long commute every day (and you’re not doing so much driving). I have friends who had summer born children who only did 3-4 days per week for all of the first 1 or 2 terms of reception. They don’t miss much because reception is mostly playing.

Pterrydactyl · 01/02/2023 10:53

I wouldn’t want to do a school run like that indefinitely, but if it’s just for a term it should be doable.

As pp say though, it’d be a good idea to check out traffic around the school and parking arrangements. Parking around primary schools - any primary school! - can be a nightmare.

Original poster

LondontoBucks · 01/02/2023 13:23

SpaceMonitor · 01/02/2023 10:29

Your daughter isn’t actually compulsory school age for that first term so you could skip it entirely if you wanted to and the school agreed. Or you could negotiate a shorter week for the first term so she’s not having a long commute every day (and you’re not doing so much driving). I have friends who had summer born children who only did 3-4 days per week for all of the first 1 or 2 terms of reception. They don’t miss much because reception is mostly playing.

This is an amazing idea to do less days - is it really allowed? I guess I’d need to agree it with the school. It would be perfect for us if they allow us to skip a day so she (and I) has a rest mid week or on a Friday so we have a longer weekend.
And yes I’d be picking her up at 3.30 so no after school activities or play dates in the first term - which I think is better anyway as she just starts to get used to the school and the hours (she is not in full time nursery only p/time). She’s summer born too so will have only just turned 4.

OP posts:

DrMarciaFieldstone · 01/02/2023 13:25

That’s a regular prep commute round here. Hope she loves it.

LIZS · 01/02/2023 13:29

I don't think dc prep would have entertained part time attendance. If you are claiming early years funding to offset some of the fees it can complicate matters too.