Page 2 | Prep School commute too much or do-able?

LondontoBucks · 2023-01-31T22:47:36+00:00

We are trying to move to Bucks from London as our dd will start reception in September. We have found a new build house we’re keen on but probably won’t be completed till Dec/Jan. So we’d need to commute for the first term or so - it’s a lot of miles so involves motorway driving but is against traffic so looking at 30-35 mins each way. For a term. Do people think this is reasonable or a nightmare? We don’t want to rent for just a few months and in a way I think our daughter might feel more settled starting a new school without a house move at the same time… any thoughts?

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Floralnomad · 01/02/2023 15:15

The prep mine went to wouldn’t have considered any idea of part time .

mumoftwo86 · 01/02/2023 16:48

My sons prep would defo not entertain that idea.

Catnary · 01/02/2023 20:28

”Reception is mostly playing”- my son’s Reception teacher would have been very offended by that suggestion. It is learning through play, which is not the same thing at all (and my son’s school definitely had formal learning too).

You could ask, I suppose, but I doubt very much that the school would accommodate a special shorter week arrangement for your child just because of the journey. However many schools have soft starts for Reception for a few weeks eg at my son’s school (independent pre-prep) Friday afternoons were optional for the first 4 weeks.

Silentpin · 02/02/2023 00:41

We did this for a term as DD started at her prep in September and then we moved in early January. It was a 30 minute door to door commute for us, by tube across London, which isn't at all unusual for other prep kids. But it was tiring for DD and I'm definitely glad we moved closer (5 min walk now). A few things made it particularly tiring - it's an earlier start than she was used to at nursery (8.25 vs.9am), starting Reception anywhere is tiring due to the mental/emotional demands of school/new peer group, the tube commute is stressful though it wasn't too busy at that time - but just being around that many people and the noise. A car journey is probably better as the dc could snooze and have their own entertainment etc. She did have a slightly longer day too as she chose to do some after school clubs in activities she loves. It took a fair chunk out of my day too as the round trip was more like 1hr 20 (to allow for delays, faffing time after pickup etc).

So, we survived it and it was OK but I think the impact on the child should be remembered. Now that we have a short scoot to school, there's a clear difference in DD, just more energy and brightness at the end of a school day.

I think it would be fairer to start school at the same time as everyone else, they are establishing friendships and routines in the first term so best to stick to the same start date and days imo. And DD has learned loads in her first term - academic preps cover a lot of material.

minipie · 02/02/2023 00:56

Just to comment on part time. My DD skipped half a day every week during reception and some of y1 due to medical issues/tiredness. Sometimes it was a full day. Her academic prep school had no problem with this. Ok we had a medical reason, but it really didn’t cause any problems (except as DD got older she got annoyed at missing school!). She didn’t fall behind academically and socially it was better for her not to be tired. They do bugger all on Friday afternoons in reception IME. I would certainly float the idea and say you will do extra reading etc on Fridays.

Original poster

LondontoBucks · 02/02/2023 07:02

Silentpin · 02/02/2023 00:41

We did this for a term as DD started at her prep in September and then we moved in early January. It was a 30 minute door to door commute for us, by tube across London, which isn't at all unusual for other prep kids. But it was tiring for DD and I'm definitely glad we moved closer (5 min walk now). A few things made it particularly tiring - it's an earlier start than she was used to at nursery (8.25 vs.9am), starting Reception anywhere is tiring due to the mental/emotional demands of school/new peer group, the tube commute is stressful though it wasn't too busy at that time - but just being around that many people and the noise. A car journey is probably better as the dc could snooze and have their own entertainment etc. She did have a slightly longer day too as she chose to do some after school clubs in activities she loves. It took a fair chunk out of my day too as the round trip was more like 1hr 20 (to allow for delays, faffing time after pickup etc).

So, we survived it and it was OK but I think the impact on the child should be remembered. Now that we have a short scoot to school, there's a clear difference in DD, just more energy and brightness at the end of a school day.

I think it would be fairer to start school at the same time as everyone else, they are establishing friendships and routines in the first term so best to stick to the same start date and days imo. And DD has learned loads in her first term - academic preps cover a lot of material.

Thanks for this and makes sense. I’m wondering did you feel that despite the tiredness your daughter was more settled being in your old home / the home she was used to when she started school or do you feel it would have been better if you’d moved just before the September start?

OP posts:

KnackeredBack · 02/02/2023 07:05

This was normal for us, youngest was same age as yours. Lots of snacks and drinks in the car, and turned out to be rather lovely time together chatting and singing along to the radio.

Original poster

LondontoBucks · 02/02/2023 07:06

minipie · 02/02/2023 00:56

Just to comment on part time. My DD skipped half a day every week during reception and some of y1 due to medical issues/tiredness. Sometimes it was a full day. Her academic prep school had no problem with this. Ok we had a medical reason, but it really didn’t cause any problems (except as DD got older she got annoyed at missing school!). She didn’t fall behind academically and socially it was better for her not to be tired. They do bugger all on Friday afternoons in reception IME. I would certainly float the idea and say you will do extra reading etc on Fridays.

Thanks, that’s helpful to know. I’ll certainly ask them - they may be more relaxed about a Friday afternoon although from my perspective I’d want the whole day as otherwise we still have to do that drive. But appreciate they may not go for that so we’ll take what we can get. I just don’t want her to be completely exhausted as she’ll only have just turned 4 and isn’t used to full time at all. Thankfully they have a 9am start, I don’t think either of us could cope with anything much earlier!

OP posts:

modgepodge · 02/02/2023 07:09

LondontoBucks · 01/02/2023 13:23

This is an amazing idea to do less days - is it really allowed? I guess I’d need to agree it with the school. It would be perfect for us if they allow us to skip a day so she (and I) has a rest mid week or on a Friday so we have a longer weekend.
And yes I’d be picking her up at 3.30 so no after school activities or play dates in the first term - which I think is better anyway as she just starts to get used to the school and the hours (she is not in full time nursery only p/time). She’s summer born too so will have only just turned 4.

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Schools in general dont love part time, and if they do they generally prefer mornings only not skipping whole days and usually only for summer borns. Prep schools are less likely to be happy to accommodate this I think, they expect them al there all the time. So don’t get too excited about this!

I work in a prep 25-30 mins away permanently, my daughter is now in the nursery and copes absolutely fine with the commute. I wouldn’t worry, as a temporary arrangement this is fine.

Original poster

LondontoBucks · 02/02/2023 07:22

modgepodge · 02/02/2023 07:09

Schools in general dont love part time, and if they do they generally prefer mornings only not skipping whole days and usually only for summer borns. Prep schools are less likely to be happy to accommodate this I think, they expect them al there all the time. So don’t get too excited about this!

I work in a prep 25-30 mins away permanently, my daughter is now in the nursery and copes absolutely fine with the commute. I wouldn’t worry, as a temporary arrangement this is fine.

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Ok fair enough, appreciate it might not be an option. Do you think it makes a difference to the child if that 30 min drive is motorway/long distance driving as opposed to crossing London for example which is less distance but might take the same amount of time? I ask because motorway driving is more tiring for me but do you think it makes any difference to the child?

OP posts:

Catnary · 02/02/2023 07:24

She’s more likely to fall asleep, which is a good thing!

LondonMum20222 · 02/02/2023 09:18

@LondontoBucks It'll be absolutely fine. Plenty of prep schools kids in London have c.30-40min commutes every day for the entire seven years. Your DD will be fine, and you can listen to audiobooks etc. Just treat it as fun family time or quiet listening time. You're obviously being really thoughtful about how you and DH will manage it. It'll be fine!

Pinetreesfall · 02/02/2023 09:20

It's more you that you need to consider. I had a 1.5 hour each way commute to school for a year and it was tough. 3 hours in the car didn't bother my son as he could read, chat, play games on his phone etc but I found it pretty tiring.

PuttingDownRoots · 02/02/2023 09:29

Mine did 30 mins on the school bus at 4. (To the nearest state school!). Some of the reception kids fell asleep on the bus occasionally. But overall it actually seemed to give them an energy boost for the evening!

Natureyhello · 02/02/2023 09:38

I’d say fine for a short amount of time. But she’ll probably fall asleep on the way home! Which might make your evenings a bit out of whack.