Taking a child out of Reception for 3 months

[Pigtailsandall]

Hi all,

My husband has been offered a fab opportunity to work in America for 3 months - October to December this year. We have a soon-to-be 4yo, who is meant to start Reception in September. We'd like to go to the States with my husband; he's very close to our child so for him, 3 months apart seems like a lifetime. It would also provide us with an opportunity for an experience of a lifetime.

Our plan atm is that he leaves late Sept and we join him at October half term. Then we all come home at New Year. My question is, can I take my child out of Reception for a half a term? I'm not from the UK but I understand that reception is actually not mandatory, but how does it work in actuality, and how do schools generally respond? I won't be working that time (or if I am, it'll be a few hours a week, up to 10) so I can do a level of homeschooling.

Has anyone done anything similar? We are excited but nervous about not having our child miss out educationally.

Yes you can take your child out however they will re-allocate your child's place to another on the waiting list so when you return you will need to re-apply for school which you could end up with any school.

Couldn’t you just delay his start to Januray? Not sure if all school do that. My daughters school had an option for our 4 year old start in January after she turned 4.

is he in any childcare setting now? EgPreschool/nursery? If not I wouldn’t put him in for a few weeks just to take him out again and then back again. They need time to settle, esp at that age and it will be hard for him to understand what is going on.

Is it a private or state school? Private should let you hold the place as long as you pay. State won’t and if the school is oversubscribed then you’re unlikely to get it back. I’d also want him to do pre-K in the states. 3 months is a long time to lose independent peer group interaction.

Hi all, thanks for the replies. My DC is currently in nursery school in the same school we hope to have a place from in September, so the surroundings, school and most classmates will already be familiar to them. I would still like my DC to go September to mid-Oct as it's a long time to not go, if that makes sense.
I didn't realise they will take the place away if you are absent for half a term. I wonder if we can cut the trip a bit shorter. Does anyone know what the cut-off generally is for absence (after which the place gets reallocated?) six weeks? Four? Two?

My neighbours child lost her place after 4 weeks at our school, in year 2. It's a popular oversubscribed primary. She was staying family in Estonia, as an elderly relative needed support, but it was an automatic unregistering as she was out of the country. She was told she couldn't appeal, but could be added on to the waiting list.

I would imagine that if its popular there would be children on the wait list especially in reception.

Kids don't legally need to go to school until they are 5. But I think you would need to have a conversation with the school about how you would keep a place for him and manage this. Actually my sister's Reception class had a child out of school for a month or more to visit family in far away places (think this was a one-off).
In her school you'd probably be fine. But worth having the conversation.

I know the school my children attend are zero tolerance when it comes to holiday applications (and what you’re proposing is like an extended holiday) so I think, unfortunately, you’d be in quite a tricky situation.

I know people like to talk about Reception not being mandatory, insinuating that you can do what you like providing they’re under compulsory school age, but in reality it doesn’t quite work like that.

How close to 4 is he? If he's summer born you might be better deferring him a year, otherwise as other's have said you're unlikely to keep his place. Also I was surprised at just how much they learn in the first term of reception.

Does anyone know what the cut-off generally is for absence (after which the place gets reallocated?) six weeks? Four? Two?

This will depend on the school and how popular and oversubscribed it is so no one here can answer it unfortunately.

That aside I don't actually think what you're proposing is in your child's best interests. Yes your husband will miss them but your child will be put through so much upheaval and disruption all for just a few months. In all honesty it would be in their better interests to stay at the school, stay in their house, keep everything else familiar and remain in the new routine.

Moving to a new country, new house, potentially new childcare setting for only 3 months seems bonkers and very likely to lead to them feeling very unsettled.

I didn't do this for all the reasons listed here when we had the chance to go to the US 25 years ago when my DC was about to start reception. Whether it would have made any difference to 1) child's education or 2) husband's career, who knows ... sort of regret missing the opportunity now but there we are.

It might be unsettling for your child to leave class for this when they might not get back into same class and have to deal with new teacher, make friends again and possibly even end up in a different school. Also if a popular school, it's not fair on those waiting for a place.

Talk to the school, see what can be done.

I'm coming from a different direction as we moved around a lot when the kids were young - it had both positives and negatives, and I wouldn't do it differently if I had the chance again (well, I would a bit since DP is now an ex-DP, but the moving wasn't the issue)

I still remember a girl going on an extended holiday to New Zealand when I was in primary school - the school capitalised on it rather than punish her by making it the following term's project and having her and her mum in to do presentations etc 😁

I'd defer to the January. Starting then stopping will be more disruptive than missing the whole term.

My DD missed the first month of Reception class. She had no problems socially. (Academically its more complicated as she has SEN so she would have been behind anyway. That month made no difference). I would introduce phonics with him though.

If it’s a state school and there’s a very real likelihood of losing the place then I wouldn’t go. Visit at Oct HT and again at Christmas, and maybe add a few extra days on each time. Plus your DH comes home for a long weekend in the middle. Or he just doesn’t go at all. But anything that involves lasting implications e.g. losing the school place or deferring by a year would not be options that I would personally consider for such a short stint.

You can’t defer until January, it isn’t a thing anymore.

this says otherwise about when to start reception.

Deferring until January or after Easter most definitely is still a thing. OP, check with your local council, it is possible where I live. If you accept a place and your child is summer-born (April to August I think), you can defer their entry until January or after Easter and they will keep your place until then. It’s a simple process, you just fill in a form.

Do it. The experience will be wonderful for you all

Thank you for all your messages, I think the way forward is just a really open and honest conversation with the school. I didn't know you could defer to January so will definitely explore that option.

I think we will all go, or no one goes - we're not keen to split the family for 3 months, and I'm not keen to be a solo parent for that long! We would be in the west coast, so jetting for weekends isn't really possible, and even going for a week is not really feasible (distance-wise or financially). I'm less worried about disruption to DC schedule - we have family in 3 countries and frequently go for long stretches, and going back to nursery has always been totally fine (appreciate school might be different), and DC is quite used to spending lengthy periods away. Also neither my husband nor I started school as young as 4 in our home countries so I wouldn't put DC in a nursery in States - we'd just do some playgroups etc together, and I can factor in some teaching in line with the reception curriculum. But I will see what the school thinks, and see if we would need to reapply for a place.

Thank you! I do feel like this is an amazing opportunity - and something my husband has worked long to achieve too.

I would try and do it too!

The birthrate has dropped significantly over the last few years so many schools have falling enrolments. They might be more flexible than usual - good luck. They would have a financial interest in your child attending on ‘census day’ which is in October (that day is the basis on their funding per pupil I believe) so find out what that date is and keep an open mind about being there on that day, might be a sweeter deal for the school?

Yes you can take your child out but it's likely they will not keep the place open for you.

When does your child turn 5? If it’s later in the year you could defer the place until after that I think.

You can defer their start date and keep the place as long as you return during the same academic year.

I would definitely do it. It's too good an experience/opportunity to miss!
I think if you don't go for it, you'll be kicking yourself forever more!
Yes, have a really honest conversation with the school and see what they say about keeping a place for your dc.