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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Taking a child out of Reception for 3 months

61 replies

Pigtailsandall · 18/01/2023 10:12

Hi all,

My husband has been offered a fab opportunity to work in America for 3 months - October to December this year. We have a soon-to-be 4yo, who is meant to start Reception in September. We'd like to go to the States with my husband; he's very close to our child so for him, 3 months apart seems like a lifetime. It would also provide us with an opportunity for an experience of a lifetime.

Our plan atm is that he leaves late Sept and we join him at October half term. Then we all come home at New Year. My question is, can I take my child out of Reception for a half a term? I'm not from the UK but I understand that reception is actually not mandatory, but how does it work in actuality, and how do schools generally respond? I won't be working that time (or if I am, it'll be a few hours a week, up to 10) so I can do a level of homeschooling.

Has anyone done anything similar? We are excited but nervous about not having our child miss out educationally.

OP posts:

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Accesscode · 18/01/2023 12:21

It will be an amazing experience for you all. As to whether you could delay start, keep him in nursery until you go, start and come back and whether places would still be available you would have to speak to the school. Also to consider is if the school place is reallocated, would you be happy with an alternative school? Or would you be able to home school longer term until a place comes back up again? Also are there any visa restrictions on how long you and dc can be in the states?

Cyclingforcake · 18/01/2023 12:23

Could you defer their start date and keep them in nursery until you leave?

APurpleSquirrel · 18/01/2023 12:26

I wouldn't Op - personally. Your DC will miss out on so much even in such a short space of time - forming friendships, building on learning, behaviour, trips & things like Christmas activities & the school Nativity (which may be their only chance if YR is the only yr that does it).
My DD was in YR in 2020 at the start of lockdown & not being in school & having very little schooling at home (both DH & I worked throughout) it definitely had an impact on all the children in that year - they were definitely behind, but at least they all were, whereas it would just be your DC who would have missed out on months of school interaction.

FaceLikeCattle · 18/01/2023 13:59

I'm definitely in the 'do it' camp. It's such a cool opportunity and at that age they go over phonics and other things to death anyway, so there'll be loads of opportunity to catch up. Neither on my KS2 kids have the same friends that they did in reception and all new kids who have joined the school in yr1, 2 3... have integrated fine. So I can't see him having any particular disadvantage from a social point of view either.

Whitewolf2 · 12/02/2023 08:05

I don’t think starting school then not going for 3 months is a great idea tbh. It won’t make it easy to settle back in. Also during the pandemic it was very clear that those that missed school time were impacted in their learning, even in reception, so you’d need to make sure you’re teaching what they’ll be missing.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 12/02/2023 08:09

Sorry but I disagree, your child will be significantly behind. Do I understand your husbands opportunity, yes but being a parent you have to be selfless

TeenDivided · 12/02/2023 08:15

I would defer start until January.

I think it will be too disrupting to put him in, then take him out, go to USA and come back.

While away though I would do phonics/reading work with him - ask school which scheme they use and where they aim to be by January. 10-15 minutes a day would make all the difference. And if you can keep up number work too.

Ducksurprise · 12/02/2023 08:17

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 12/02/2023 08:09

Sorry but I disagree, your child will be significantly behind. Do I understand your husbands opportunity, yes but being a parent you have to be selfless

This is just bollocks that we are all fed by society, a society that wants children in school and both parents in work.

The only concern is space when you return. I would also look at deferment, and keep dc in nursery until you leave.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 12/02/2023 08:18

Ducksurprise · 12/02/2023 08:17

This is just bollocks that we are all fed by society, a society that wants children in school and both parents in work.

The only concern is space when you return. I would also look at deferment, and keep dc in nursery until you leave.

Show quote history

Well no it’s that someone has to catch the child up when the parent decides they want to put them back in. It’s state education, sorry it doesn’t work around parents travel dreams.

WhoNeedsSleepNotISaidMyBody · 12/02/2023 08:20

@Pigtailsandall it IS a great opportunity, I would go when DH goes. I would talk to the school & see if you can get a Jan start.

As he's at the school Nursery, he won't be going in unsure of how school works.

I'd just ask them if there are things they'd like you to work on while you're away. Gross/fine motor skills, counting objects, letter formation, whatever. And read to him daily etc.

do it & enjoy the experience!!

Zola1 · 12/02/2023 08:33

I would do it as long as school will defer the place. You know your child. My 12 year old has always been so chilled and adaptable, when she was 4 we went to ibiza for 2 months and then did a little bit of city hopping to get home, and she loved it and it didn't disrupt her at all. However, our 4 year old would never cope, his head would fall off as he's a totally different temperament 🤣
Do phonics and things while you're gone. It's an amazing opportunity

SheilaFentiman · 12/02/2023 08:33

As he is at the school nursery, my worry would be that they won’t/can’t keep him there for the Sep-Oct bit if you did defer school until Jan. My private day care would have done this but school nursery funding maybe different.

SheilaFentiman · 12/02/2023 08:37

Half term is late Oct - maybe take the week before off as well and then the week before the Xmas holidays? It is an issue that his % attendance will be low if you do
it this way, given it is early in the school year. But it’s probably a safer way to not lose the place.

spanieleyes · 12/02/2023 08:40

If you defer until January- which you can- then your child can't attend September to October, they can't start until January! The nursery MAY allow them to stay until October, but you would need to check, it would depend on funding arrangements. If you start September and don't return after the half term holiday, your child will be de registered and you will have to reapply on your return.

Privatemedical246 · 12/02/2023 08:44

You can defer your child school place until the term after they turn 5. That's the latest they have to be in school. I would suggest you apply and accept school place then request to defer until Jan start (my understanding is they have to keep the place for you as your entitled to a reception place) then continue in nursery class until when you want to leave. There shouldn't be an impact there as long as you are there during headcount week (usually 1st or 2nd week of october) the nursery can still claim the early years funding for your child and not be out of pocket.

ittakes2 · 12/02/2023 08:45

You just need to ring the head teacher of the school and ask. Each school would approach things differently.

Labraradabrador · 12/02/2023 08:47

Moving to a new country, new house, potentially new childcare setting for only 3 months seems bonkers and very likely to lead to them feeling very unsettled.

isn’t this exactly what people do when they go on vacation? Don’t get me wrong, I dreaded travel and vacations when my kids were young, but the popular view is that it’s a net benefit. How is 3 months (when you would have time to adjust sleep routines, etc) bad for kids but 2 weeks is a life enriching experience?

franglais123 · 12/02/2023 08:49

@Pigtailsandall have you spoken to the school or made a plan?
I’m jealous - sounds like an amazing experience and I would definitely try to make it work.

For those saying it would be too disruptive for the child, I’m a primary school teacher and there are numerous reasons children miss school. Half a term when they’re in Reception really isn’t the end of the world and they have years to catch up! Also, if the OP can keep up with phonics, looking at books together etc then academically they won’t miss much at all. My cousins live in Scandinavia and don’t start formal schooling until they’re 7 by the way. 6 weeks out when you’re 4 is definitely ok.

SuperSange · 12/02/2023 08:55

I'll be honest, I'd stay behind. It depends on the school though; I'd want to come back to the same school they left. If there was any doubt o er that, husband can go on his own.

Meadowfly · 12/02/2023 09:05

3 months isn’t long! Not worth disrupting your dcs important first year of school for. Rather selfish imo, as they are too young to benefit.
talk to the school, take an extra week at half term and go to the US for a fortnight, then go for the Christmas hols - that’s a month, more than enough time for fun. That would leave you with 6/7 weeks on your own here, not 3 months, and dcs able to settle at school. Presumably your dh will be at work all day - what would you and your dc be doing in the 9-5 mon-fri? I don’t see how there months of basically hanging around is better than two fortnight holidays? What kind of package is your dh on, where would you live? Would you have your own car?

cravingtoblerone · 12/02/2023 09:05

A lot of schools are reluctant to have deferred starters in January. Particularly if the school is oversubscribed and there are other kids who can take that place.

Ultimately most schools are struggling financially and having gaps in a reception class makes it harder to balance the books. The school receives the bulk of its funding on a per pupil basis. So the school will lose a term's funding for your child. But it still has staff wages and utilities etc to cover.

SheilaFentiman · 12/02/2023 09:06

Just to say, OP, half term in my county starts mon 23 Oct and Xmas break on 15 Dec. So it is more like 2 months that you would be out of school.

Meadowfly · 12/02/2023 09:08

I think you need to be ‘brave’ and let your dh go on his own. You will miss him, but your dc will be busy at school and will be fine - face time!

Original poster

Pigtailsandall · 12/02/2023 09:10

Hi @franglais123 and others, I see this thread has been resurrected!
We have decided to go. My husband is an academic and this is once-in-a-lifetime career opportunity. While I think you should put your kids first, it doesn't mean that you completely neglect yourself in the process.
The school place hasn't been confined yet so once it is, I'll speak to them about what the choices are. My dad is also Scandinavian and he's always astonished how kids start school so early in the UK. He didn't start till he was 6 and he's done well so I'm not really worried about being behind. And my DC is very keen on reading and numbers, and can already do simple maths like 2+3 and read 3 and 4-letter words. We are excited, and I'm also excited to have a career break.

OP posts:

Caterina99 · 12/02/2023 09:11

As long as I knew I could get the space at the school when I came back, I’d definitely go!

Just ask the school what work they’d be doing in that time and do a little bit every day. I assume phonics and some basic maths. it will be good to have a bit of structure in your days anyway and I’m sure you can make it fun.

So many of us were essentially forced to do this during covid, in much less than ideal circumstances. Kids move all throughout the school year and settle in fine.

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