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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Anyone Held Their Child Back A Year Before Starting School?

41 replies

Highlander · 03/02/2008 17:14

DS1 will be 2 weeks shy of 5 if he starts school in the UK. It's way too young IMO. Can I hold him back or do the chilkd police come calling?

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needmorecoffee · 03/02/2008 17:16

I held ds1 bacj 2 terms as his birthday is 27th August. He went part time in reception till the following Easter. School weren't very happy but legally they don't have to be there till the term after they are 5.
dd2 I plan to hold back a full year and have her a year older than the rest of the class (she's a march baby) cos she has severe disability and while bright, finds many concepts hard to grasp as she has no experience of movement/sensation etc so no proper references for her learning.

needmorecoffee · 03/02/2008 17:17

so they wanted ds1 to start at 4 and 1 week! far too young.

LIZS · 03/02/2008 17:18

You could legally delay until New Year in England, after that he needs to be in some form of education. If you are in England he'd be one of the oldest in the class anyway.

kaz33 · 03/02/2008 17:21

I wish I had held back DS1 (5th August) - he is now in year 2.

School has been a bloody nightmare - despite being smart he failed to achieve in reception, by the end of reception had behavioural problems and was being labelled as a problem child. By year 1, they put the pressure on and I have spent the last year and a half supporting my child. Guess what he learnt to read by the end of year 1 and now in year 2 can read anything [proud mummy]. Now he is top of his class in year 2 but really can't hack it socially and now I am helping him increase his social skills ready for his next school at age 7. Life would have been a darn breeze if he started a year later.

needmorecoffee · 03/02/2008 17:22

You could always home educate for as long as you want and then go for school.

CarGirl · 03/02/2008 17:25

just be aware that if they miss reception then they go straight into year 1 ie they are usually with those of their age. I know surrey LEA is a real stickler for this, very few people get their children to stay back a year it really is only in exceptional circumstances and birthdate and special needs does not constitute exceptional circumstances!

Jacanne · 03/02/2008 17:30

If you really want them to go to school after a year at home I would seriously think about the implications of missing Reception year. This is, in most schools, an opportunity for gentle introduction into school life. It is a lot more play based than year 1. I think a child would struggle having been dropped straight into year 1 without any reception experience.

needmorecoffee · 03/02/2008 17:37

here they let SN stay back a year.

NomDePlume · 03/02/2008 17:38

Legally your son has to be in school the term after his 5th birthday, therefore he cannot be held back. He will actually be one of the older ones in his class.

My DD was 4, 3 weeks before she started reception, which is young but she has coped wonderfully. I had the option to hold her back, but DH and I decided that we didn't want her to miss out on the first year(if you hold them back a year the join in Yr1 rather than reception). I didn't feel it was fair for her to start school later when all of the other children in her class had already had a year to form friendships etc. I was concerned that she'd find it harder to adapt.

jollydo · 03/02/2008 18:01

A lot of people mention the problem of missing reception year, and it being hard to cope going straight into year one. But i wonder if, balanced against the fact that the child is a year older and so much changes in one year with a child's deveopment, could it still be easier than starting reception as a young 4 year old who is really not ready. I don't know... not having experience of trying either yet, but would be very interested to hear from someone whose child has started in year one, whether it was - looking back - the right decision?

bracingair · 03/02/2008 18:24

Are you sure you got the years right Highlander? AFAIK children start school the september after they turn 4. When is DS1'a birthday?

Christywhisty · 03/02/2008 21:38

HIghlander is right. My children are both September babies (13th and 18th) so they were 2/3 weeks off their 5th birthday when they started.
They were more than ready, specially DD who was desperate to start from the age of 4.

Reception is a gentle start to school, with lots of play.

bracingair · 03/02/2008 22:31

ChristyWhisty is right. If Highlander's child is born mid sep then he will be two weeks shy of his 5th birthday. The rest of the class will be turning 5 between sep and aug. So her child will be one of the oldest, or poossibly the oldest. Quite a good advantage!

Original poster

Highlander · 04/02/2008 14:06

I knew I started a thread yesterday but just couldn't find it

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Original poster

Highlander · 04/02/2008 14:07

I wouldn't drop him into year 1 - he'd start in reception

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Original poster

Highlander · 04/02/2008 14:10

you have to be 4 before the 31st Aug.

Just seems a bit mad in the UK. Back in good ol' Canada they don't go to school before 6.

All the teachers I know say boys take years to settle in school.

So if I want him to wait unitl Jan, do I accept his place then let them know he won't be there until the 2nd term?

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Original poster

Highlander · 04/02/2008 14:11

Reception seems far from gentle. Our local school has them reading and writing with homework

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goingfor3 · 04/02/2008 14:13

The problem is he will be miss the settling in period and may miss out on making friendships. I think it's probably more traumatic starting after everyone else is settled in.

etchasketch · 04/02/2008 14:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LIZS · 04/02/2008 15:54

You' d have a tough battle getting him into Reception at almost 6 . LEA's are pretty rigid. Accept the place (or you 'll lose it and if he doesnlt start at all that year he could lose it anyway) then discuss deferring his start .

chocfest · 06/02/2008 18:08

Two of mine started in year 1. The schools say they cannot hold a place through reception for them, which is fair enough, but if you feel strongly enough about it, go ahead, their learning certainly did not suffer from them starting a year later, and I had an extra year of precious pre-school time which obviously you can never get back! Go for it!!

FrannyandZooey · 06/02/2008 18:14

Your child must legally be getting some kind of education after the term in which they turn 5

this does not have to be in school

you are quite within your rights not to send him until he is older if you think it best

nortynamechanger · 06/02/2008 18:15

nmc out of interest where abouts are you? (Do not have to be too specific)

I have a DS born Aug 19th and has GDD due to a rare genetic condition, so will be (probably) youngest in the year and 30% GDD (at last asessment aged 30mths).

He is currently attending a private Pre-Prep's nursery, they are keeping him back one year with my permission/request. He can only go there until he is end of Yr 2 and will then go into local state.

Our choices are slowly re-intergrate him inot actual peer group, miss year 3 altogether and go from yr2 prep to yr 4 state or try to insist he is held back a year in state education - they are currently saying no. Kent LEA btw.

Clary · 07/02/2008 00:10

highlander I very much doubt if you'd get him accepted into reception at almost 6.

Most children start in reception in UK at 4, some (as other here say) at say, 4 and a week (August born).

Honestly your DS will be fine. What exactly are you worried about? How old is he now btw? If he is 4 now, is it because he is immature or you fear he won't cope with the long day etc?

Go into a reception class and see what they do. Yes, they learn to read and write and add up - but they also play lots and spend plenty of time on "choosing". It's very much like nursery but is IME a totally vital start to big school.

Jollydo I don't know anyone who has missed reception but I imagine it would be a rather rude awakening. Not an experiement I would want to try IYKWIM!

Flllightattendant · 07/02/2008 05:09

It is legally your duty to educate your child from the term after they are five.

This could mean at school or at home.

If you defer applying for a place until they are five, you will almost certainly be told that they will have to go straight into year one, missing reception - going into reception a year late is in most cases, just not an option. (I have looked into this in the past year or two - Ds1 now in reception but part time).

You will also be told that you might well not even be give a place in year one, as most of those places will be taken by the reception children already there.

In other words any deferral is taken quite badly by many LEAs in England. They do not encourage it.

Your best option is probably to opt for home education until you are happy for your child to begin school.

Good luck, there are many of us who agree reception age children are just too little!

(Ds enjoys it p/t, because he loves seeing - rather, hitting - his little friends, and some of the curriculum - mostly the singing etc. but f/t though being hinted strongly at by the school, is beyond his physical capabilities imo)

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