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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

My son only got 1 Xmas card off kids in his class.

51 replies

Amidoingsomethingwrong · 23/12/2022 16:40

He's a lovely kind, gentle boy. He's thoughtful and shares stuff. I don't do playdates at the house as I am a single parent and have a small house and bouncy silly dog so it's just not practical. But equally, at 7 years old he has never been invited to a play date at someone elses House. He seems popular in the football team he practices with. Last night he wrote out 30 cards to give to all his classmates 😭 Are year 2 age kids just not sending many cards this year? Is he getting left out? Perhaps it's the latter which makes me sad. Is it me other parents are avoiding? We live in a very middle class area. Am I making too much of this? My 11 year old got lots of cards from his classmates despite not writing any himself and seems to be more popular for no apparent reason. Just feeling bad for my little one. How can we build on friendships in the new year without having to use my house for playdates.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

AndEverWhoKnew · 23/12/2022 16:42

I don't know what it's like in your school but card giving really seems to have fallen out of fashion where we are.
As for playdates, arrange a playdate at the park or a soft play if you don't want to bring them home.

Original poster

Amidoingsomethingwrong · 23/12/2022 16:44

As for playdates, arrange a playdate at the park or a soft play if you don't want to bring them home.
Yes that's a good plan actually. Especially once the weather improves.

OP posts:

VioletLemon · 23/12/2022 16:45

None were sent in my class, only to the staff. There's been a change last 2 years. Since not being able to pass paper from home to school during Covid restrictions , cards became a no no. I'd just tell him they aren't being sent to his age group. Your older child's class prob had this routine pre covid.

Beees · 23/12/2022 16:47

Most kids in the schools I work at haven't done cards and the few that did seem to have been done on a as and when basis. E.g. James gives Luke a card and the next day Luke returns the favour, so leaving it until the last day would mean no time to reciprocate.

Also just because you don't do playdates at home doesn't mean you have to say no completely. He could always go to soft play with a friend, the park or a number of other places.

Return2thebasic · 23/12/2022 16:49

We stopped giving out cards altogether this year. Nobody seems to be doing it. Especially COVID seemed to discouraged this practice and I'm glad in some way.

Rg playdate, it does seem to be a pattern that it needs to be two ways. I feel nervous to bring DS's friends home for playdate. He's ten, so what they are mostly engaged together is games. We don't have any game console at home and his friend was obviously bored at last visit. So I try to take them out to park, or activities like trampoline park and have meals at McDonald's.

Don't over think about popularity though. Really there's only that much you can do. Their friendship would evolve over years and those who like each other would stick around no matter what.

JT69 · 23/12/2022 16:50

only a very few gave cards out in my year1 class this time. Younger children often need help to write out the cards etc so relies on parent input. I wouldn’t worry to much.

Original poster

Amidoingsomethingwrong · 23/12/2022 16:51

Hmmm interesting. My son did say people were only giving them to their friends. Which makes it worse in a way. Anyway I will try not to over think it 😭

OP posts:

MissHavershamReturns · 23/12/2022 16:51

Hardly any in my son’s class and we didn’t do it this year. Don’t worry op - it’s on the way out

MissHavershamReturns · 23/12/2022 16:52

We have zero even to v close friends

OliviaFlaversham · 23/12/2022 16:52

Our children’s school used to have a packed postbox for cards which were handed out each day by the older year groups. This year, hardly any cards for anyone. Only three children did them at all in one of their classes (Whatsapp group confessions!).

clopper · 23/12/2022 16:55

Very few cards sent in my Y3 class this year. I think it has fallen out of fashion. I know my adult DC don’t send many cards now either except to older relatives. Planet wise it’s probably a good move but I also feel a bit sad about the loss of traditions.

Whinge · 23/12/2022 16:55

OliviaFlaversham · 23/12/2022 16:52

We have a similar postbox at my school. Usually it's emptied daily during December as there are so many cards. This year it was emptied twice, and even then it was only half full.

Ursuladevine · 23/12/2022 16:57

well if everyone in your daughters class bar one had done what your daughter did… then the exact same scenario would have happened to that child! 😂

dogtheted · 23/12/2022 16:57

I don't think kids do cards much anymore.

Maybe the other parents have similar house issues? Single parents, small houses, maybe lots of siblings or both parents work FT?

The play date thing might not be personal, so many people have lots going on. My friend doesn't do play dates because they have foster dogs. Another doesn't because she has another child with SEN who wouldn't cope with other kids round.

Ursuladevine · 23/12/2022 16:58

Your daughter couldn’t be bothered (and I’m with her on that one!)

So why be alarmed that others haven’t either

Not. A. Chance. My boy wrote cards at 7, at 11 and sure as heck not this year!

Original poster

Amidoingsomethingwrong · 23/12/2022 16:58

These posts are reassuring. Thank you.

OP posts:

ShillyShallySherbet · 23/12/2022 16:59

Both DDs wanted to write cards for everyone in their class this year and gave them out at the beginning of December. DD in class 1 got one back from pretty much everyone in her class (parents probably had a lot of input in this, good handwriting practice!). DD2 in class 3 only really got cards back from her friends (all the girls) in her class. My theory is boys are not as into writing cards for each other. Also I think if you give them out earlier you’re more likely to get them back as people reciprocate. So don’t take it personally for your son, he was late giving them out and perhaps the people he is friendly with didn’t write cards at all.

Original poster

Amidoingsomethingwrong · 23/12/2022 17:00

@Ursuladevine whose daughter are you talking about? Sorry, I don't understand your posts at all
🤔

OP posts:

Kristabell · 23/12/2022 17:02

I wouldn't worry about it and don't think it means anything. Maybe if it was a party invite he'd been excluded from you'd have reason to worry, but it's mainly the parents that organise Christmas cards and often people forget or can't be bothered. I don't think anyone would be so spiteful as to miss a kid off a Christmas card list.

Whee · 23/12/2022 17:02

I teach Y3 and would say only about 5 children gave any out (think they all did a full class set).

Ursuladevine · 23/12/2022 17:03

Amidoingsomethingwrong · 23/12/2022 17:00

@Ursuladevine whose daughter are you talking about? Sorry, I don't understand your posts at all
🤔

your daughter didn’t write any despite receiving loads!

Ursuladevine · 23/12/2022 17:04

My 11 year old got lots of cards from his classmates despite not writing any himself

so you can see that kids, ever increasing number, don’t write them anymore. Given your own child chose not to

Ursuladevine · 23/12/2022 17:04

Sorry son not daughter

Whinge · 23/12/2022 17:05

Ursuladevine · 23/12/2022 17:03

your daughter didn’t write any despite receiving loads!

Show quote history

Perhaps the OPs daughter didn't do anything, because she doesn't exist...

The title and OP both clearly state she has a son.

BCBird · 23/12/2022 17:05

I sent a card to all 30 of my y7 tutor group and got 3 back. This did not happen 5 yrs ago with my previous tutor group. Sending cards has definitely fallen out of fashion.

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