Local state primary or private prep?

[champagneandsparkles]

We have the choice between the local state primary or a good prep school. Prep is very expensive, would involve a commute, small school with small class sizes. Fantastic range of extra curriculars, tons of sport, looks academically strong. Long days, especially from age 8. Local state primary looks nice but uninspiring. Very little in the way of facilities, no green space. Extra curriculars would be very limited. Much larger class sizes. About a 15/20 minute walk away.

Which would you/did you choose and how did you make the decision? "State till 8" is one possibility, but concerned that DC would struggle with the transition at that point. Also considering the "state plus" model where we try to supplement as much as possible, but realistically I don't think it's possible to imitate the range of academic and extra curricular opportunities on offer at the prep even with the best will in the world. Though I'd be interested to hear from anyone who feels they successfully went down that road.

Depends what you want to do at Secondary and the state of your finances, I would say

I chose state primary but it was a very small school, 121 children across 7 years, it had lots of green space and good facilities. The wrap around care was a bit flaky but we managed.

I saved my money and sent ds to an independent secondary instead. He said it took him two years to catch up with prep school class mates, but he did catch up.

The facilities are only worth the extra if your dc will benefit from it. For most under 7s it is of limited value unless you need wrap around care and convenience of clubs, dance, music etc on site.

Planning on private secondary, definitely. Finances are OK but the prep would be a stretch.

@MintJulia did you feel the need to do much to supplement the offering at the local primary? Interesting to hear your DS's experience at secondary. Was that mainly academically that he felt behind, or did he struggle with the sport, friendships/social stuff etc?

Hmm. I chose the local prep school to which my DC could walk safely because my job was literally all over the place and time. They did love sport and music but the teaching was fairly basic, some kids got bullied, and the extracurricular stuff was patchy - the open day had archery and chess etc etc but none was available afterwards. I would go for the local state if I had my time over again. Calculate how much you will be spending over the years and whether you can afford it forever. Nothing worse than being pulled out of a public school because the business has gone tits up or someone's lost their job.

I completely agree with this. But concerned that having to transition at 8 would be a disadvantage if DC is settled in another school. New friendships, higher expectations, different school culture, long hours, commute etc - all potentially easier if they've been there since 5.

Do you definitely only have a choice of 2 schools?

We are just coming to the end of private prep - really happy with it (but DD has SEN and they've supported her brilliantly plus she's musical and that's excellent quality there too) but my god it is a lot of money. Plus longer holidays to cover. We will do state secondary.

And DD was not at all into anything extra curricular till this year - that's only a useful feature if your DC actually wants to do all that stuff.

Do you only have the one DC? If you're multiplying all this by 2 that's another consideration.

Plus the advice used to be to stress test your budget for a 5% annual fee increase but I'd make that higher now.

At primary, we added swimming lessons and karate privately, and ds was a keen reader so he had hundreds of books at home.

Catching up at senior school was all academic. He was behind on spelling, composition, Science, history & geography.

His maths was comparable but that's his top subject. On the others I think because he was middle of the class and 'ok', he was just allowed to bumble along in 2nd gear without much attention.

He is much happier now he has teachers who challenge him and don't let him get away with bumbling. 🙂

I’d go private if you know you want private at secondary.

We chose State Primary but only because we had an excellent option.
It allowed us to save up more and do a few things that would have been more difficult from a financial point of view.
The DC went Private for Y7 and there was no knowledge gap at all, plus they were generally more streetwise than a lot of their peers who had been there from age 3

We worked backwards. Turns out you don't need an exam to get into the senior we wanted if you start pre year 4.

Ask the school how many join at year 3/4. In some areas there are separate state infant/junior schools so they move at that age anyway and you can always join clubs etc out of school.

Very interesting to read all these thoughts, thank you. A couple of replies:

I think because he was middle of the class and 'ok', he was just allowed to bumble along in 2nd gear without much attention.

This is exactly my fear!

Ask the school how many join at year 3/4. In some areas there are separate state infant/junior schools so they move at that age anyway and you can always join clubs etc out of school.

This is an excellent point, thank you. No separate infant school, but there may be a certain intake. I can ask.

Finances: it would mainly be paid for out of an inheritance, but it is an awful lot of money and we would definitely notice it in our overall budget.

Has anyone else gone down the state till 8 route? Any experiences of DC changing at that age and either thriving or struggling with the culture shift?

Are the private secondaries selective? I'd go state primary and pay for tutoring if needed, save the difference for secondary.

As someone who has been having a very interesting time trying to find a genuinely good state primary locally, I'd give my eye teeth to be able to afford private prep. A school rated Ofsted 'good' can leave a hell of a lot to be desired.

It is very difficult for a state primary to really engage bright kids to their full potential.

@Phineyj theoretically there are other options, yes, but have narrowed it down to these two as seemed like the best state/private options on offer. "my god it is a lot of money" basically sums up how I feel about it! But on the other hand, we probably can afford it thanks to inheritance... Just not without noticing it, as I'm sure some families can. If we could, it would be a no-brainer I think.

@ReallyShouldBeDoingSomethingElse Exactly. I wish that either all state primaries were this good, or that money was no object. We are in the tricky position of thinking that we can probably just about stretch to it - but just not knowing if it's really worth it or not.

We did state primary and private secondary. DD is in y8 and passed all her entrance exams with no problem and is flying academically. However, DS who is current y6 is a different child - I'm not even sure he'll pass the exams. We haven't tutored him so what will be will be.

OP do you work FT? We just can’t logistically do any after school activities so to have so much on offer at the prep school that DC attends is a massive benefit. And not just that, the lessons they do are much more varied too.

Just remember hopefully labour will win the next election and then stop the silliness of tax free status for private schools. This could mean a 20% increase. So factor that in as would be rubbish to move him and then move again.

It depends on your child on the state and private options you are choosing between. There are outstanding state schools where we are that do better than some of the middling private schools.

I'd ask yourself the following questions:

1. From what age do children get access to the extracurricular offerings and specialist teachers? You'd be surprised but this often isn't until year 3 for many schools.
2. Does your child have any special interests or needs that the school can cater too that wouldn't be at the state school or easily replicated? My DD's school is very musical and she loves music. She does private lessons anyhow but at school everyone has to learn two instruments via group lessons and there are lots of orchestras, musical clubs etc as everyone can play. It would be very hard to replicate that experience.
3. Can your state option cater to their academic needs / provide sufficient challenge? If not, do you have the time to stretch your child yourself outside of school?

If money would be tight, the gap between what your state option is and your private needs to be pretty substantial to be worth it.

If finances are a stretch then I would absolutely do state primary, then tutor from Y4.

I went for prep. I would say 'state until 8' if I could go back and then reconsider in year 2 if I still want the prep school. We've done all the way through but so much money and didn't gain hardly anything before year. 3.

We have gone for prep because I don’t feel those who are brighter than average get the attention or teaching they deserve in state sector. DC are well behaved, bright but not the exceptional type that would thrive anywhere. I would describe them as bright with lots of potential. Exactly the type that would be overlooked.

It depends what you want from a private but I can say with certainty that a state plus approach at our local states wouldn’t substitute what they get in private. The level of attention and focus on maths and English in school day just can’t be replicated with tuition once a week and nor can the constant daily reinforcement. And that’s without considering that tutoring would happen after a long day at school/on a weekend after a week of school.

Specialist teaching also starts from age 4 at their school - science, languages, art, dance, drama, sports all taught by specialist teachers. We don’t currently make use of after school activities - I like for them to do this elsewhere and mix with other children but we are fortunate to have luxury of both choices

We send DD to a good state primary. We may move her in KS2, but definitely pla private secondary.

We opted to send DDs to a local prep from reception, we moved house when she started so it's just a five min walk. Class size is just 12 with a teacher plus TA, there is another reception class to ensure a wider social mix. DD is fairly quiet and would get overlooked in a state school. Her teacher and TA know her and her needs extremely well, she reads to an adult in school daily (and again at home).

I think funding is a real issue with state schools these days and pupils who did fine at a good state primary in the past might not have done so well in the current financial environment - lots of cutbacks with staff and enrichment activities. Plus there are many issues with school children as a consequence of lockdowns - many more needing speech therapy and less school readiness in primaries. Even if my DD was relatively unaffected (due to getting lots of social contact in nursery), a good teacher will struggle to meet those needs and also stretch the brighter children. In a prep, most of the children will have still have had good early years education, and there are just not as many children in a class.

She does 3 extracurricular activities after school and they get specialist teachers in French, music, ballet, and PE (these increase further up the school). I'm a sahm at the moment but having most of her activities on site works well for us - if she did them elsewhere she'd get home at least 50 mins later due to travelling time/later start time, plus I'd have her younger sibling in tow. She does do one after school club elsewhere and it's much more tiring for her to have to travel and eat dinner later. I wouldn't want to do that several days a week, or have our whole weekends taken up with extracurricular activities.