Kid with challenging behaviour hurts my kid

[pebblewhite]

Another try, hopefully, less offensive.

So today, my son (7 y o ) got hit on his head with the heavy metal part on the school playground. He says his head hurts, and the school asked me to watch him for the next 24 hours.

The other child who did this is the kid with challenging behaviour and has some behavioural problems, it's not their first school, and they joined the class last winter (just to give some context).

This is not the first time this has happened; the third time since the last spring my kid has brought the note. The issue is that according to my son (and I know it's true from several other parents) that this is happening regularly.
Stabbing kids with pencils, throwing things at them, punching them.

Today's incident was done "intentionally", as much as this word can be used with kids who might have difficulties controlling themselves. It was not an accident (I am explaining this, as a pure accident might happen with special kids as well, just to clarify this was in the instance of the challenging behaviour).

Now, I completely understand the need for kids with autism, for example, to be included in society. I absolutely freaking support this.

What I fail to understand is if there is a kid with a history of behavioural issues, to the point where they can cause bad injuries, why is there no one to watch this child and interfere in time?
I want to email the school my concerns; what should I write? Should I email the headteacher?

I don't want to sound arrogant; as I say, I get the need for socialisation for kids who need more help, but I want my kid to be safe at school and just enjoy his time there.

We have been dealing with this exact same situation for the past 3 years.

We have been working very closely with the school to support them in getting the help they need to support the child who isn't coping and lashing out. By that I mean we are helping them build the case for funding, for 1-1 support etc by making a never ending trail of evidence.

Every little thing that happens we report in writing and for the bigger incidents we have a meeting with the head and agree additional measures to keep our child safe.

From reading between the lines, the child in question finally has an autism diagnosis but to their credit school have had 1-1 support in place at all break and lunch times for a while now. All unstructured time in the classroom (eg art / project time) is a trigger so they are physically kept at a distance and lots of stuff is now in place to support the child and prevent the overwhelm that causes the violence.

Try to work with the school rather than going in fighting and hopefully you will get a good response

@pebblewhite
I think I’m correct in saying that a school must keep an incident log when a child is injured. This should say exactly what happened. You do have a right to know this. Again, it’s not safe if a Dc can access a metal bar and clang it into another child. A little bit more strength snd it’s a major injury. So ask the school
to ensure this Dc cannot get hold of anything heavy and likely to do serious damage to another Dc.

You don’t have to work with the school regarding the other child. It’s not really in your gift to do this. It’s up to the school to monitor and log incidents and for the parents of the Dc to invest their time and energy into what happens next.

Your concern is not whether this child has SEN or ASD. Your concern is the safety of your child - and currently you're worried about it. Totally understandable,

If your answer from the school isn't good enough, or they don't send one, find out who the school governor is with responsibility for safeguarding and send your email to them.

No he wouldn’t.

Utter rubbish.
The number of 1:1 support staff members who have been left battered and bruised by the children and teens that they support is evidence enough that this isn't true. They get back up and carry on the next day, working with the child/teen who was physically violent towards them.

It's rare that any exclusions of children with SEN will be upheld if the behaviour cited in the exclusion can be linked back to the specific SEN. That's been the case for the last 6 years or so but even before that, for 1:1 staff it was just seen as part of the job.

Personally I don't think it is helpful to email the governors before meeting with the HT. It is about chain of command. The first thing the governors would do is refer to the head anyway.

Class teacher, then Head, then Governors.
There are routes beyond that, but to be honest with a school if going to the governors didn't help then I'd probably just move my child. I really don't think legal action would be productive in any sensible time frame, if at all.

As a previous poster said, the SEN support system in this country is set up to be reactive rather than proactive. In order to put support in place, and in particular to access funding for that support, you must first evidence that the child cannot cope without that support. This requires repeated examples of a failure to cope over time. It's a shit system and one designed to limit the amount of money being spent on child with SEN and in education generally.

As such, emailing the HT to share your concerns with him/her would be useful in helping them build evidence of a child not coping. Be polite but be clear about what has happened. However, don't expect that the school will be able to talk to you about the specifics of another child: they can't.

None of the end solutions are great in this situation anyway. In the end, one of three things will happen:

1 - no meaningful change in supervision, either because they can't staff it or it's decided it isn't warranted, so children still get hurt. Reminders about kind hands etc. will be given but if these were going to be effective for this child, they already would have been.

2 - the child is placed in small group social time rather than having playtime and lunchtime. They will be either inside or outside but playing in an adult-directed game with a small number of child (either self selecting to join or being asked to by the adult). This would be an option if the child's impulse control and behaviour can be regulated by a slightly closer "overview" from a staff member. They are able to get some socialisation experience whilst less likely that other children come to harm but are unlikely to develop or maintain proper friendships.

3 - the child is given 1:1 supervision outside because the specific aggressive behaviour can only be prevented by having an adult attached to that child all of the time and physically restraining when needed. The child will, as a result, not have the space to engage with their peers and will spend the majority of their time engaged with the adult. The child's socialisation needs will not be met but the other children will not come to harm either.

All shit solutions but the second one is the only one which has any potentially positive outcomes for all.

I would ask to meet the head and remind them that as well as the needs of the child with SEN to be included there is a need for your (and every other) child to be safeguarded.
I’d ask what monitoring is in progress (not just in playground, but also a record of incidents) and say you will take this to governors if there is another similar incident.

Well yes, but that's not a concept easily translated to a second language where phrasing might work differently.

There's a kid in my DD's class who has a 1:1, he gets excluded regularly for hitting teachers. He's 6 now, it's happened since he was 4 in reception. He's never hurt a kid afaik, my dd is friends with him. The teachers physically restrain him and he lashes out.

@NicolaandLawrie
You need another school. First you must talk to the head. It’s not up to a few children or one child to socialise another one. So speak to the head, calmly. Say to DD that she must not play with the child. Others clearly don’t! Yes, it’s sad but these Dc need help and schools are delegated money to help! Hopefully the school is working with the parents of Dc.

To those who say SEN children are not excluded, those without Send plan definitely are. It certainly buys time to discuss how to better deal with the issues Dc has.

That’s not true.

I've contacted the school, and they were prompt to answer that supervisor did not report the incident anywhere. But I have a letter and the accident note so they can look into it. Now I wonder what they were aware of and of what they weren't. I don't know what the procedure is. But anyway, from now on, I will take this very seriously and will follow everything with written communication in future.

Well done.
Keeping good records and following up emails will help everyone.

Cannot help but curious what would happen if an injured child hits back the child with challenging behaviour?

If it was clearly self defence then that should be OK.
If it was retaliation they would be in trouble too.

@pebblewhite
The attack must be logged. The incident must be in the accident log. They know your Dc was injured at school and that’s enough for it to be recorded. They must tell you and they have. What happens to the other child is between the school and his parents. You can ask that all pieces of metal are removed and that the playground is made safe. You can ask that arrangements are made to try and keep your DS safe. That’s the job of the school. You cannot demand what happens to the other child.

Who decides if self defence or retaliation though?

The teacher based on descriptions from those involved and witnesses.
They will err on believing it to be retaliation if the situation is unclear.
Simply put schools can't have children hitting others on purpose.

“Your concern is not whether this child has SEN or ASD. Your concern is the safety of your child - and currently you're worried about it. Totally understandable,”

I agree. Your child’s safety should be your main concern. Yes, be sympathetic if the other child does have behavioural problems/SEN etc, but that shouldn’t impact on whether your child is safe or not.

We spoke to school and they seemed very taken aback that were raising it. They repeatedly said they were surprised as they said she hadn’t mentioned anything - but she’s tried to several times and been shut down. We explained that, and they basically denied it - said there is always a process which is followed. We know that’s not the case.

Also it seems very reactive? Like the processes in place seem to be there to deal with the behaviour once it has occurred, there don’t seem to be strategies in place to prevent it from happening. They said the child was monitored but how can this be if he is able to hurt our daughter? I am not trying to be harsh on the child who is being monitored, and we said nothing bad about that child - we focused on what they will do to safeguard our daughter. The response wasn’t terribly satisfactory.

She’s in Yr 6 now so maybe it’s just too late to expect them to do anything about it. Maybe we’ve just not been assertive enough in raising it in previous years. I never want to be the one complaining, I know schools are under enough pressure as it is.

I am wondering what these loose,heavy lumps of metal are They sound like begging for trouble!