Kid with challenging behaviour hurts my kid

[pebblewhite]

Another try, hopefully, less offensive.

So today, my son (7 y o ) got hit on his head with the heavy metal part on the school playground. He says his head hurts, and the school asked me to watch him for the next 24 hours.

The other child who did this is the kid with challenging behaviour and has some behavioural problems, it's not their first school, and they joined the class last winter (just to give some context).

This is not the first time this has happened; the third time since the last spring my kid has brought the note. The issue is that according to my son (and I know it's true from several other parents) that this is happening regularly.
Stabbing kids with pencils, throwing things at them, punching them.

Today's incident was done "intentionally", as much as this word can be used with kids who might have difficulties controlling themselves. It was not an accident (I am explaining this, as a pure accident might happen with special kids as well, just to clarify this was in the instance of the challenging behaviour).

Now, I completely understand the need for kids with autism, for example, to be included in society. I absolutely freaking support this.

What I fail to understand is if there is a kid with a history of behavioural issues, to the point where they can cause bad injuries, why is there no one to watch this child and interfere in time?
I want to email the school my concerns; what should I write? Should I email the headteacher?

I don't want to sound arrogant; as I say, I get the need for socialisation for kids who need more help, but I want my kid to be safe at school and just enjoy his time there.

She literally says it in the second post. Reading comprehension isn't related to autism as far as I'm aware.

Now please stop derailing the thread and either offer the OP some help or bow out.

Yes, complain, complain, complain and encourage any other parents of children affected to do the same. That is the best way for the child to get the support they need as it demonstrates that they can't cope without it. I worked in a school with a child with an attachment disorder and this was how she got the help she needed.

If you can, be friendly to the parent. Parents of children with SEN often end up quite isolated.

Thank you all for your suggestions; I greatly appreciate this. I will draft the email today and will send it in the morning. My son seems to be ok, fingers crossed; the place is sore, obviously, and he slept a bit this afternoon but otherwise, no signs of concussion.

She says she's a foreigner. Not that English isn't her first language.

Irrelevant. Even the USA has very different social norms of what is or isn't acceptable to say / words to use. quite often the social norms are contradictory. Please stop derailing.

So what did you think she meant by "Now some more editing, guys give some slack to foreigners."?

For God's sake, the vast majority of foreigners don't speak English as a first language.

The post reads very clearly as someone who doesn't speak English as a first language. There are lots of grammatical errors and strange phrasing in her writing. She obviously didn't understand that despite using the correct terminology (SEN) she had the phraseology wrong. This is a very common error for lots of EAL speakers, because the grammatical structure of English is very different to other languages. And the rules are batshit. If you could say blonde kid, tall kid, funny kid, why couldn't you say SEN kid? You can easily see where the confusion comes from.

You're now just splitting hairs and trying to demonise a woman who is trying to get some help for her child, who is being repeatedly assaulted.

@BloodAndFire I'm autistic. I take things at face value. The op didn't say she had English as as second (or third or fourth or fifth) language. She said she was a foreigner. That isn't the same thing

It's pretty damn close. The vast majority of foreigners don't speak English as a first language.

To clarify, English is not my first language, yes. And subtle things that often change with context are way trickier than grammar.

Does the op even know that the child on question has a diagnosis of autism?

The child's diagnosis is irrelevant. The fact that school aren't preventing him twatting other kids over the head with bits of metal is the issue at hand, and that is what OP is asking for help with. Do you have anything useful to contribute on that or are you just going to keep tone policing?

Just leave it will you. She hasn't diagnosed the child, she used autism as a slightly clumsy example. You aren't helping anyone here.

Glad he is ok. Hope school can reassure you

In your email list and describe the incidents in which your child has been hurt or frightened in school.
I would use the phrase that “the school is failing in their duty of care to my child”

deliverooyoutoo I am sorry if anything I say sounds offensive to you. I never called autism graceless.

There could be any example of ADHD or children with CU traits; it doesn't change what happened.
My child was hurt—the third time in the last six months.

The autism spectre is largely studied, and we made good progress as a society, trying to help kids with socialisation (compared to other conditions/disorders at least). Hence was my example.

I will not be justifying myself further, If you don't mind.

I asked you what you thought she meant by Now some more editing, guys give some slack to foreigners. ?

I would definitely be writing to the school about it. There is a good template described by a pp. I would also be thinking about mentioning that I was considering legal action if my child is not adequately safeguarded and has one more injury due to their neglect. One on one supervision appeared when I made an official complaint in similar circumstances.

@Snugglemonkey
Dont advise legal action. That’s not sensible.

@pebblewhite
Make sure your DS’s injury has been recorded by the school. Ask the school to try and ensure your DS is safe. Ask how a child gets a metal bar in school? (Or whatever it was?). Ask if playtime is monitored. It actually can be monitored by the head. I’ve seen this done.

Don’t worry about a SEN diagnosis for another child. He’s not your child. Just ask for your child to be safe because the school
has a duty to ensure this is the case. At no time in the last 50 years will schools say they have money! They have SEN money given to them. It used to be held by local authorities. Now schools get it. They must spend it on SEN children. It’s never enough but they must endure your DS is safe. Do remind them of that.

The school has a duty of care to your child. If the school is failing in that duty of care then inform them you will be taking legal action against them. And then do so.

If this kid was whacking teachers with lumps of metal I imagine he would be excluded (for their safety). It's a shame that fellow children don't get the same level of protection, it's the same at my kids' school.
Sorry I don't know the answer, maybe emailing the governors as well as the school. Definitely copy in the whole senior leadership team and any welfare/safeguarding staff.
Good luck

@TizerorFizz yeah, the diagnosis is not my business. One user was offended I used autism as an example.

When the thing happened the first time, I chatted with the teacher and explained to my son that some kids may react differently to things. So he should not hold a grudge against the boy.

The incidents continued, sometimes small and not reported. I asked him not to interact with the boy. Now he did not even see him and had no clue why he did at all. On the playground, they have some equipment with metal bits; I did not get where precisely this happened; I asked him to show me tomorrow when I pick him up.

Overall, the responses here made me feel better, I am glad I haven't emailed the school straight away, and now I can send a calm cold-headed email.

So thank you, guys, once again.

So refreshing to read your comment on a thread like this.

@MolliciousIntent
And the rules are batshit. If you could say blonde kid, tall kid, funny kid, why couldn't you say SEN kid?

Because blonde/tall/funny are words to describe and identify and could equally apply to any child.
"SEN kid" immediately demeans them because you're not even showing them enough or equal respect to describe them.