Panic attack in my classroom

[Khaveer]

I’m a year 1 teacher. I have been having panic attacks most days since the start of term. I’ve been having a difficult time getting a doctor’s appointment outside of work time so I have not seen a doctor yet. Today for the first time I had a panic attack in front of the children. I had to send a child to the office to get another adult to come and help (no TA in the class). I have now left work and I’m at home feeling guilty. Would you be angry if your Y1 child witnessed their teacher have a panic attack? I was hyperventilating so I might tell them I had an asthma attack when I go back, but I don’t know if that is worse.

I’ve booked a doctors appointment but they can’t see me until Friday morning for an emergency appointment. My head teacher has already phoned me and asked me if I’m coming back this afternoon. I just can’t do it. I am in work from 7:30 - 19:00 everyday, I bring home a couple of hours of work in the evenings Monday - Thursday and a couple of hours on a Sunday and I’m still behind. We are expecting Ofsted any day and every head of subject is constantly asking for improved / updated versions of long and medium term plans. I constantly feel anxious about the amount of admin I have to do. In class is also challenging because I do not have a TA and my class are a very young Y1 class. None of the children had an EHCP yet although several will probably end up with them. We’re trying to accelerate the applications so that we will get some funded hours, but obviously that’s unlikely to do anything in the short term.

I worked for years in a school like this. Very high turnover of staff, teachers in tears at the end of the day, a nervous breakdown or two.

You need to find an 'easier' school or consider leaving teaching. I mean that kindly.

Some just aren't cut out for it, and your health, mental and otherwise, isn't worth risking.

There's a whole world out there, of other schools and other career opportunities.

So sorry to hear this OP. My husband has panic attacks (just two so far, but he lives in fear of more), and my son is in year one. No I wouldn't be angry if he'd seen this, to be honest he's lucky both times my husbands after been after he'd been in bed at night or he'd have seen one already. Take some time to rest, I know my husband feels exhausted the day after one. I wouldn't return until after half term.

Have you considered looking for a job in another school? Your head's expectations sound totally unreasonable.

I teach secondary, but my mental health has been really poor in previous schools where I've felt overwhelmed with workload etc. I'm now in a job where I'm a lot happier, and I feel so much more well- although I definitely still have elements of burnout from previous roles.

Take some time to work on your mental health, but do also consider whether this is a school you want to stay in long term.

My appointment with the doctor did not go as I had hoped it would. The doctor does not want to sign me off at all. Instead I’ve been prescribed propanalol and diazapan to manage the anxiety and I will be back in the classroom after half term. I don’t really know how to feel. In some ways it’s nice to think that the doctor doesn’t think I’m really that sick, but the thought of going back in leaves me feeling numb. I have handed in my notice so I will be leaving at Christmas. I haven’t quite decided if I’m going to accept something else which I had previously decided against (going back to university) or look for another option but I can’t carry on like this.

Hi, that’s terrible.
I would say you need to go back and see a different doctor!
I’m sorry you’ve handed your notice in. You can come back from this and teach again (if you decide to) with time off work, the right medication and therapy but your doctor sounds useless!
How long have you been teaching?

Get signed off.
Fine to tell the kids it was asthma.
They will be fine op don't worry.
Get well soon and look after yourself.

This.

Well done for handing in your notice op. You hade done absolutely the right thing.

Well done for handing in your notice. That workload was unsustainable.

What a dreadful HT! He sounds clueless about the curriculum and callous about workload.

You won’t regret getting out of there.

I don't think the focus group model of teaching can be successful with a 1:30 ratio let alone with some children with possible sen and no individual support! It's not your fault at all. Do the reception classes have a better ratio?
For an HT to be so harsh towards the mental health of staff is not doing the school community any good. Your union should be aware of what you are being expected to do. I'm glad you have handed your notice in. Good luck with the next few weeks.

As a parent, I'd rather you be signed off and recovered and have a step in teacher than have my child dealing with a teacher having a panic attack.

Adults losing control or becoming unwell is frightening to a child and I wouldn't think you were in the best position to control and teach a classroom, because I know how much mental energy goes into trying to control your mind in those instances (I've also had panic attacks).

I'm not trying to be unsympathetic or even give tough love, I say this with genuine kindness and in support of you - it's in everyone's best interest for you to get yourself right before returning to work. I'd be far more on board knowing a teacher was struggling and at home dealing with the issue, getting treatment, and therapy etc then I would hearing my child come home telling me their teacher hyperventilated/had a panic attack again.

Also, bare in mind that this might not be the right school for you to work in. Sounds pretty awful from what you've described.

When I was in year 1, gosh that’s going back at bit! I remember there being teaching assistant in the class. I guess it’s down to budget cuts ?

I think teaching year 1 is quite stressful, the kids are still very young.

I remember my teacher was going though a tough time, I think she recently lost her nanna. She wasn’t herself, but the school made her return too soon. She suffered, the class suffered too. It was awful seeing the teacher walk out of the room. I don’t blame her, the head teacher should of brought in a supply teacher

This is why there is a shortage of teachers, and struggling to recruit new ones. Thanks to a lack of support and heavy workload and unrealistic expectations. Teachers do a difficult job, trying to teach 30 kids, which should be a lot lower

I wouldn’t be angry, I would be very concerned for you. My anger would be at what was putting you in this position and it’s clear that it’s the leadership, lack of PPA and unrealistic expectations of your school.
fab advice already… please get out of there xx

Parent here. I would not be angry with you. I would be worried about you and angry that you've been so badly supported.

I'm so sorry for the stress you've been through. It's good you've handed in your notice as this sounds unsustainable. Year 1 with no TA sounds extremely challenging. At my children's school every class has a TA until Year 3. It might be worth seeing a different doctor to get signed off. Having daily panic attacks does not sound good. Wishing you all the best for your recovery.

I wonder why there is no TA? Are they off sick or cost cutting by the school

Hi. I'm really sorry your work is overwhelming and that it is making you ill.

I have been a teacher for 23 years. Secondary. What you describe is horrifyingly awful and I don't know how you have coped so far.

As a mother I would not be cross with you. I would be concerned. As a fellow RWI teacher, you cannot fit that into 15 minutes a day. That's one part of your post that gives me palpitations - and you're having the whole experience. It sounds unreasonably stressful.

Like others say, get signed off. Your well-being is more important than anything else.

Then contact your union about your headteacher.

Then stop. You must stop. I had a panic attack in the staffroom when I was 33. I had recently come back to school from my second maternity leave. I had three weeks off, a phased return and then I was back at it. Unfortunately you will need to articulate how things need to change at your workplace. Park that for a moment and take a week to recover. Then get signed off for another week.

The Compassionate Mind by Paul Gilbert helped me understand why my body was reacting how it did. I am now better at saying no, but I realise this doesn't help you right now as what you describe really is extraordinarily dreadful for a school. Your workload is colossal and it is not right or fair.

Look after you. Just you. Take as long as you need and do not answer calls from the school. When you are signed off they're not allowed to approach you anyway, I believe.

💐

Take the next week off and self certify. Then go to a different gp and tell them you are having panic attacks and that you cannot return to your job at the moment. Your head sounds like an idiot. You are doing the right thing getting out.

It sounds like you are working much more that you 1265 hours of directed time. Plus you should be getting your PPA and lunch breaks.

Are you a member of a union? I think it is now time to give them a call.

Also, contact www.educationsupport.org.uk/get-help/help-for-you/helpline/ they can give you help.

You can self refer for talking therapies www.nhs.uk/service-search/mental-health/find-a-psychological-therapies-service/

Start looking for new jobs!

But most importantly, use half term to rest, properly rest - no marking or prep, rest!

@Khaveer apologies my post is now outdated.

I'd get signed off after half term. I can do this via an app in my phone at my surgery. Can you? (I haven't done it yet - when I was signed off when I was 33, apps weren't invented yet 🤣)

Super well done for handing in your notice. Fuck that school, pardon my French.

My husband was off from teaching with stress. He applied to return 3 days to manage his well being. This was granted and he has been 3 days for 8 or so years now - no plans to return to full time ever! Life is completely different. As you have said with a 3 day teaching job you can work ordinary full time hours 38 odd and not crazy unsustainable hours.

I think you have been a bit hasty handing your notice in right in the thick of feeling as you do. I wish you had taken a little time to think about your options. I would strongly recommend part time roles.

But I hope you feel relief now that you have decided you are leaving. As a previous poster has said if you are leaving and you are not well you can go sick if you need to instead of return. Whatever the doctor says if you are not able to return then don't. They aren't going to drag you in. Your wellbeing is more important.

Expecting a private school experience without the budget or staff is crazy - I wish your head luck with that when he can't keep hold of his staff.

That is one seriously toxic HT. Have you spoken to your union yet? He's also very short sighted, he's going to be very short on staff soon.
I also would ask to see another GP. Your panic attacks were obviously caused by your situation, so how are drugs the answer? I am certain another GP would sign you off. Honestly I wouldn't go back, you have next week to see another GP and need to protect yourself because if you have a full breakdown you won't be working again for quite a long time.