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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Lots of phone calls from school

31 replies

newmum1976 · 13/10/2022 11:16

Does anybody else get a lot of phone calls from school about things which could be mentioned at pick up?

I’ve had 3 phones in the last week whilst at work and it’s really disruptive. I obviously have to answer the phone incase my child is sick and needs collecting, but I’m tempted to ignore the call in future. Oh, and it’s always me they call -not dad 😡

These were the calls. The teacher also took ages explaining what happened so each call was 10 mins!!

Your child’s eyes hurt, have you had their eyes tested recently?
Child has thrown something in the toilet that he wasn’t supposed to.
Child has fallen out with another child which ended in a fight. All sorted now and they’ve made up.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

eurochick · 13/10/2022 11:49

This is really odd! I've never had anything like this.

lostinthoughts · 13/10/2022 11:53

Are they trying to make a point that your child is disruptive and difficult to manage their behaviour? Can't imagine they would take time out for these phone calls for general chit chat and updates. I suspect this is building up to something bigger

Minimalme · 13/10/2022 11:58

I think the school are trying to bring some behaviours to your attention.

The fact the teacher spent 10 mins on each call suggests they think you may not realise that those behaviours are actually problematic.

So, with objective eyes - you child tells them his eyes hurt (perhaps to avoid school work) and they are struggling to get him to focus.

He got into a physical fight with another child - not good.

He took something to the toilet and dropped it in, which is pretty naughty.

I think you should ask for a meeting and see what they suggest.

TeenDivided · 13/10/2022 12:05

They will normally call the 'first contact' on the list. If you want them to call their Dad instead, swap the names over on their order list.

Hearthnhome · 13/10/2022 12:05

Hmm that seems a lot. I would ask them if they call every other parent for these things.

If not, they are trying to draw your attention to something

husbandcallsmepickle · 13/10/2022 12:08

Is it the same teacher calling each time?

arethereanyleftatall · 13/10/2022 12:11

Really strange. I never had one call in the 18 years combined all my children were in primary school.
So, there must be something else.
Either your particular school is very strange, for who has the time, or there is something else going on.

AriettyHomily · 13/10/2022 12:16

I only had one call all the way through primary and that was to ask me to collect DD as she was projectile vomiting over the classroom.

I think you need to go and talk to them, there is obviously some issue. teachers don't have time to call parents all the time.

FlounderingFruitcake · 13/10/2022 12:16

I’ve only ever had calls about head bumps.

Topseyt123 · 13/10/2022 12:18

It does seem a lot, although some of those are potentially problematic issues which you need to address with your child too.

Make an appointment with the class teacher to ask about any concerns which are arising. That way they have an upcoming meeting with you and might pause some of the phone calls.

I did get calls from school occasionally that I thought were unnecessary, but they do have to cover their arses really. I got things like "XX just shut her head in the toilet door but is OK" and "XX (same child) just landed on her head while flying a kite but seems OK." 🤔

Identify whether or not problems are occurring. Tackle them.

Throwing stuff down the toilet is not OK and needs to be stopped.

Fighting with other children not ideal obviously, although it does happen. Find out what actually occurred and ensure your child knows what is or is not acceptable, and what to do.

dampgreg · 13/10/2022 12:21

How old is your DC OP? I don't think it's usual for the school to be ringing you so often, so if they are then there must be a problem that they're struggling to manage. The staff are rushed off their feet so no time for just a friendly chat if they don't need too. That said, if there is a problem I'd be glad to hear that the school are trying to let you know; loads of SEN kids difficulties are just overlooked

LifeIsntAllDiamondsAndRoseButItShouldBe · 13/10/2022 12:21

The only calls I ever get from school are about bumped heads!

Tdcp · 13/10/2022 12:34

I don't have any communication from the school unless she's actually vomited..

It's certainly a long time for a teacher to take out of her days to talk to you about seemingly mundane stuff, I do wonder if she's trying to make you aware of some behaviours.

Spicycurry · 13/10/2022 12:36

Is it a new teacher? I think sometimes recently qualified teachers can be a little over zealous, it’s good because they want to keep you involved but not great if you’re at work!

Naimee87 · 13/10/2022 12:37

Is there anyone at the school you can escalate this too. The same thing happened to me with DS and it never stopped but got worse. Daily texts/phone calls/emails about very similar stuff you mention. I only have the one child so no previous experience with schools/teachers. I had thought this was normal parent/teacher contact, but after having chatted to some of my friends with kids in the same class they were shocked. I did my best to answer each and every call, responded to every message but it got to the point where I couldnt focus on work as you do obviously feel obliged to answer the calls in case it genuinely is an emergency. I was receiving texts/whatsapps in the evening/weekends. No matter how many times i listened to the teacher acknowledged what he was telling me and offered support to help with some of the issues he was having with DS, nothing actually worked until i informed the headmaster. We finally came to an agreement that a whatsapp group should be set up including me the teacher and the headmaster. Since we started the group i hardly heard anything from the teacher. He tried contacting via email which i forwarded directly to the head. DS is now at a new school and so far we get letters home telling us about upcoming trips/events and I have had the occasional email on a Friday when his (new) teacher has had some concerns about his work/marks so she would like for me to work with him over the weekend. Its so peaceful! Definitely definitely escalate this or it could become so much more consuming.

Original poster

newmum1976 · 13/10/2022 12:38

Probably should have said, he’s awaiting an adhd assessment so does make some bad choices, but only when unsupervised.

I want to be told about these things so that I can speak to him about what is acceptable, but my point is they don’t seem like urgent things that require a phone call. Surely a quick word at end of day would do it.

OP posts:

SpinningFloppa · 13/10/2022 12:40

Yes happens to me I had 4 in primary and it was constant phone calls.

lostinthoughts · 13/10/2022 12:43

There we go, you've asked them to keep you informed. And that is what they are doing. You should be pleased they are absolutely complying with your requests. Perhaps you could politely thank them for their efforts but acknowledge it must be very time consuming for them so suggest a weekly email instead. Honestly, they can't do right for doing wrong

Original poster

newmum1976 · 13/10/2022 12:45

I’m thinking of saying we can only answer calls in an emergency e.g child
needs collecting from school. Otherwise please update after school or arrange a meeting. Will this be seen as odd?

OP posts:

StillNotWarm · 13/10/2022 12:48

Are you honestly saying you'd like the teacherto speek to you with the last few kids waiting to be collected hanging around, late parents popping over to collect a chil,and a playground of potential earwiggers and gossipers rather than a call in private?

The poor schools can't win. They call you, and get told off for disturbing you. Speak to you in the playground and they blasted for doing I in earshot of everyone else.

Spicycurry · 13/10/2022 12:51

She isn’t ‘telling them off’, @StillNotWarm , but it is reasonable to not want excessive phone calls. It is worrying and alarming for the parent.

eddiemairswife · 13/10/2022 13:04

I only had one. My eldest was in Y1, we had gone to the doctor before school, and he was writing his news. He asked his teacher how to spell 'impetigo'. The head asked me to come and get him as it was an excludable condition.

junebirthdaygirl · 13/10/2022 13:04

I wonder are they building a file on him to back up their suspicion that he has ADD or ADHD for the psychologist. They won't want to write anything in until you know about it as it can be a big shock for a parent seeing a big list of misdemeanours all at once. A parent must see everything that is being sent to a psychologist.
Also did you have a bad reaction to their suggestion of ADHD and are they out to show you where their concerns are coming from.

MisgenderedSwan · 13/10/2022 13:09

Could it be that they know he's awaiting assessment and want to let you know away from him what's gone on so that each day isn't ending with a negative conversation with you?

More discrete to make a quick call than call you to the door every afternoon I would have thought - just trying to point out a possible alternative viewpoint.

You could ask them to alternate calling you with their dad, or ask if maybe the teacher could send little notes and you can have a catch up phone call once a week or how ever often they think is appropriate?

Starlightstarbright1 · 13/10/2022 13:19

I would suggest a home school book .. my ds had one in primary. Meant i got to know what was going on regulary and reduced phonecalls

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