Will private school help my 7 year old catch up?

[Aria2015]

My 7 yo has just started year 3 and is the youngest in his class. I feel like he is a bright boy, he is articulate and observant and when he enjoys something, can be very motivated. He is however behind. Year 1/2 reading level and also behind in spelling, writing and maths. Would moving him to a private school help him catch up?

We read every night (him to us and us to him). We do all given homework (maths and spellings), plus we practise phonics etc... His current school isn't great. He has a big class and many of his peers are also behind. In fact we're always praised for how much we do at home as apparently most the children don't do the set homework. Also, despite knowing his reading is behind, they don't check his reading log for weeks at a time and maybe change his reading book once a week (by which time he's memorised it!). I don't know if we could do more at home. I already feel like 30/40 minutes of work at home on top of a full day at school is a lot for just turned 7. He's often tired as we have to be out the house early.

I feel like he needs to get things turned around in the next year to put him in a good position moving forward. I wouldn't push if I didn't feel like he was capable, but he's a bright boy (and it's not just me that says that), he really just isn't reaching his potential currently.

It would be possible to move him to a private school. Just wondering if that could make the difference? Anyone had similar experience and seen good progress either in a private school or by some other method?

It’s the same as moving him anywhere. Could be great, could be awful.
min private he would have less children in his class which obviously a massive help but in my experience, sometimes private schools aren’t so experienced in dragging kids up to age related, if they even take them on in the first place. A quality state school should be providing that support and I would look there first and save my cash for secondary. Perhaps look at some of the local state primaries and see what the deal is there. Also, talk to his school. If that many are behind what are they doing about it? What is their plan for your child?

It depends on the private school but yes, if it could well help, but I think one to one private tutoring is another really good option (or even better, as well).

As above, it depends on the school. If you’re open with them about his needs, they say they can help him catch up and give you a plan for that it could be a good idea.
But also as above, the £1k a month school fees could buy you a lot of private tutoring instead - and if he’s otherwise happy at current school that could work too. You say that you think 30-40 mins of work on top of his current school day is a lot, but Prep school hours can be much longer than you may be used to (my DD is 8 and does 8am til nearly 4pm, 5pm with clubs).

my grandson was the youngest in his class and was attending a london private school. he was the lowest of the low year group (3 form entry divided by age), they recommended he repeat the year and were organizing that. he was showing signs of hating school (refused to dress, ripped off his clothing, tantrums) and displaying behavioral issues as he struggled to grasp and move along as quickly as others. the parents hired a tutor but he was so upset and frustrated he refused to engage. the school accommodated him to a certain degree, balance ball to sit on and 1-1 for most of the day to keep him on task...
to better help him the parents went to a rather extreme decision and moved him to france at an international english system school. they kept him in the age-appropriate class, low and behold with less pressure and a bit more maturity he's doing very well and is fully engaged in learning albite only 2 weeks in.
he had been attending (or not due to covid) the same private school for 2 years although obviously affected by the pandemic restrictions.

@PathOfLeastResitance thanks for the reply. So the school have basically blamed covid for quite a few of them being behind. They say they missed a crucial time in reception / year 1. I do get that, but he had a full year of year 2 and he's still behind (although did make some positive progress). I think the thing that bothers me is that they don't seem too concerned. At first I took their lvl of concern as positive thing, because I thought it meant they were confident he would catch up, but now I feel like because he does all his homework and has support at home in his learning, that he's not really a priority for them to focus on because there are other children in his class who don't have that home support.

@Cheerfulcharlie thanks for the reply. I have thought about one-on-one tution. I suppose that might be a good place to start as it's less of a huge change than moving schools...

@CaledonianSleeper thank you for your reply. So the reason I'm seriously considering it is because we visited a nearby private school and he had an interview with the head. I said that he was behind and he didn't seem concerned, he said he was a bright boy and if we felt the school was a good fit they'd be happy to take him. My son was there the whole time though and so I couldn't be as open about my concerns as I wanted to because I didn't want him to hear and feel bad. I suppose i'm just on the fence about taking it further or not. It's a big change and big commitment.

The private tution could be an option too. I haven't looked into it as much though as in my head, I was just getting fed up with his school and assumed the best option was a move, but this could be another alternative...

Can you take your son to go choose some books that appeal to him? I find my son tries harder when he wants to read something. We read books too hard for him to read by himself but with fun stories and i pick out odd lines for him to read as we go that are mostly words he can do with one or two stretch words. We also practice whenever we are out on signs and things. Perhaps some educational games might help for a change in approach?

Otherwise yes I'd try a tutor before moving schools. It feels worrying when they are behind but in my experience it was like something clicked and he made a big leap forward with his reading at once.

Well it massively depends on the school. Moving him somewhere where academics are everything could lead him to feel pressured and anxious when he realises he's more behind...

The school are right that there is a cohort of children who have missed out massively - v little preschool/reception exposure and lots of disruption in-between. It would be odder if it hadn't had an impact.

Are you worried because you feel he has a specific learning difficulty? If so, any spare money you have may be better directed towards assessment and strategies.

If you're worried that he just doesn't meet some arbitrary standard that he would have met in the pre covid era then in all likelihood with engaged parents and no specific learning difficulties, he will get there but late than he would have done in previous times. Does it actually matter? Does he need to reach that level right now, or would it be fine to get there in the end? Many education systems don't start formal learning as early as we do, 7 is v young still. I wouldn't be doing all the extra work, play and stories is enough at that age!

If you want reading books changed more regularly, I can recommend schemes like The Reading Chest (if asking school doesn't yield results) or the library.

If you have other concerns about the school then that's different - look round some others. But think really clearly about what your issues are and what you want the solutions to be.

FWIW, my summer born was a slow starter but is now at high school and in top sets. Being nearly a year younger than some in your class is a big difference at 7!

@fallfallfall thank you for your reply. I'm glad your grandson is in a setting that suits him better. I have wondered about the pressure of a private school. He doesn't dislike school. He's actually not massively aware he's behind, but I think that's because he's not the only one so doesn't feel like the odd one out. At a private school he could be more of an outlier and I worry about how that might make him feel. I guess it could motivate him, but it also could go the other way and make him feel bad about his abilities (or lack of) which I don't want.

Also, I myself was behind on reading and writing at his age. But back then they just put you in a 'slow set' with others who struggled. I didn't move schools or have private tutoring, but things just 'clicked' for me naturally when I was in my last two years of primary and I caught up and have good GCSEs, a good degree etc... I know the same could happen for him, but I'm just worried that not doing anything is a bit high risk. What if things don't 'click' for him on their own...

I’d go private- ask them if they’ll let him join a year down. There are no rules unlike the state system. My ds was in the year below throughout his prep school as his birthday is late august. Unlikely that tutoring will help/ it’s likely the whole child approach you need.

@Barleysugar86 thanks for the reply. We've got loads of books and we have tried letting him pick ones he likes, but he can get very frustrated with himself if they're too hard and that can derail the reading a bit, so we try and steer him towards ones that challenge him but are within his level, but I know he finds the books 'babyish' in theme, but that's because they're for children a year or two younger than him.

I think you're right that private tutoring may be the best first step. Hopefully we'd be able to see within a term if it was proving useful.

@SeagullSausage thanks for your reply. No I'm not worried he has any learning issues. To talk to him you wouldn't have a clue he's behind. He articulate and has a good understanding of what he sees and hears around him.

It's just that they've just done some benchmarking tests as he's moved into year 3 and when I saw the report, it made me worry. So yes, I suppose my main concerns come from him not seemingly meeting the age appropriate standards the school go by. I honestly don't know if it matters or not to be honest. He's my first child and so I haven't got loads of experience of the way schools work and no older child who has been through to reassure me (on not!).

I mentioned in a previous post that I was behind in reading, writing and spelling myself at his age. But I naturally caught up. I'd hope the same would happen for him. But I am worried that I shouldn't rely on my own experience as he might be different. I just don't want the gap to widen or not to the right thing by him.

@MarthanotMarfa so the private school we toured starts from 7, so if he were to go back a year, he'd have to start next September with the new year 3's. It's not something I considered but I will definitely think on it and enquire. Thank you

Hi OP, we moved from state to private and have found it wonderful, in terms of smaller and calmer classes, plus relaxed teachers who have time to take an interest in all the children. If you have found a school that’s a good fit, then I expect he’d learn much more there than if you leave him at State.

That said, it isn’t the fault of his current school that his reading level is behind. Children simply don’t have enough time in the school day to learn to read well. You need to be reading to him for 30-60 minutes each day every weekend, and every day in the holidays, and ideally a little in the evenings after school as well, running your finger under the words as you read, and later chatting to him about what you’ve read. There is only so much that can be done in a classroom setting, it’s easier to teach maths to a group but for reading it’s a 1:1 thing and mostly done by parents at home. So I’m not sure moving schools would improve his reading level.

Ps if you do read to him and he’s still very behind, I’d do a dyslexia assessment just in case he has a very mild form of it. There might be different teaching techniques that could help him more.

In the first instance, get a tutor as soon as you can. Make an appointment to see the Head of the independent school without your child present and outline your concerns including their views if you were to join the school in Year 3 rather than 4.

I think state is better than private in this situation.

There is such variety in private schools, but I think part of the power of going private is being able to select the qualities that matter to you, whether it is ultra academic, sporty, or a more nurturing and less pressurised environment.

I switched my twins to private half way through reception. They were ‘behind’ with reading (They were summer born, and personally I take issue with how young reading is pushed in uk schools, but hey!) and I wasn’t happy with how the state school was addressing it. My girls went from excited about school to absolutely dreading it, which was the real concern. I found a lovely local independent that takes a more holistic approach and they are thriving again.

The big difference was the level of individualised support they were able to provide. Instead of sending home more worksheets, the teacher was able to identify differences in their individual learning styles, giving me different strategies for supporting my two very different kids. One girl has really taken off and is now in line with peers, the other is having a harder time with reading specifically, but gets 1:1 support with a literacy specialist and is making good progress AND (most important to me) has regained an enthusiasm for doing the work.

They also do so much more in a day, so many activities are educational and enriching without feeling like a lesson. It might not ever show up on a test, but I know it is making a difference.

on the literacy front I am a bit of the mind that different kids are on different timelines, and most have it ‘click’ eventually. I do wish the UK were more like other countries where reading isn’t really part of a curriculum until 6/7 years. I worry that pushing so hard before they are ready risks undermining enthusiasm, but conversely worry about self confidence when they fall behind their peers. It feels like walking a tightrope.

I'd be inclined to being quite relaxed about this from a catching up pov then. If he's interested, articulate, enthusiastic and no signs of specific difficulties then his issues are much more likely to be related to being young in the year and disrupted school time due to lockdowns. How would he compare to yr 2 expectations for eg (if he'd been born a few weeks later would no one be raising an issue?!)

My DC have all 'performed' v differently through primary education and yet, by the time they've started secondary, they've all been much of a muchness. The summer born is still emotionally younger than peers, the autumn born flies ahead at every stage and the winter born has been 'behind' and then caught up at pace. Age, stage, personality and circumstances all have as much influence as the school and teaching at primary I'd say. Being the DC of parents who read to you, talk to you, are engaged with and value education (these are all huge determiners of academic success) means he's highly likely to be absolutely fine!

That said, if the school he's at doesn't feel right and you can't have useful dialogue with them, and you don't feel they have much interest in working with you to have your child, then that would lead me to look elsewhere. But my motivation would not be to ensure he's 'caught up".

It really depends on your school and the other schools that may be available to you. Different areas of the country really do vary in provision.

We did move our children to the private system and the difference was pretty stark - but that was in our area. Not necessarily the same everywhere. For our youngest child who started independent school in reception, he was read with every day at school, and had a new book every day. Our eldest DC's, who started at our local state school, had their book changed once a week. It got very frustrating, but we are a family of readers so I had others we could move on to. It was the first sign of stretched resources though.

In the end it was the maths that made us move. Lack of challenge and DC spending an entire lesson (regularly) waiting for the extension work that never materialised, that was the final straw. Excuse after excuse and no actual differentiation.

Moved all DC to private and never regretted it. All thriving and with far more opportunities and much better behaviour than our local state schools can offer. It does depend on your area though, it really isn't equal all around the country. No grammar system here for a start.

@Aria2015 both parents were so concerned about the little fellow, and in many ways his immaturity was obvious early on and would have been better suited to being held back at 4 years (14 days) when he started school. but that's not what they wanted to hear at the time.
the point i'm trying to make is his school was very pushy, the children are doing work well beyond their usual age range (the dd at the same school was doing work in grade 2 that here in canada is done in grades 3-4 two years down the road) so the pressure to keep up, move to the next level is very much part of the ethos.

I am not sure it's a private vs state issue. My ds is in year 3 at a local state primary school in not a great area. He is not behind and my understanding the classes is where they would generally should be. I would look at schools round the area and find one you think could give him the best support. Moving him down a year has a long term consequences so I would think carefully about doing that unless you think he cannot catch up.

Hi Aria, my daughter is in private school and has been since pre school, they have put her back a year to help with the catch up, and she has minor learning difficulties. They are throwing every resource possible at her to help her catch up, however it is costing us a FORTUNE! I don’t think they’d have taken her on if they’d realised how much she would struggle from pre school and we are really stuck now because if she were to transfer to state school we’ve been told that she would have to go with her chronological age group and the struggle would be double.
depending on just how behind your child is, I would tread carefully, they are already pushing the children (who aren’t behind) to be ahead of where they should be, so your child may feel further behind compared to peers. Also, I feel like we constantly up against “you’re not entitled to that, your child is in private education” every time we ask for help from anybody. There are pros and cons of going private but just bear in mind, they will charge you for EVERYTHING!

@Whatsthepointofmosquitos thanks for your reply. That's encouraging to hear about your positive experience with private school.

Regards reading, we do read every day with him, he reads one book to us (at his reading level), this usually takes 15 minutes and then we read to him a book he chooses (usually one well beyond his readying level) for 15 minutes (this is part of his bedtime routine). He asks lots of questions about what words mean when we read and he seems good at picking up new words and using them, plus he likes us reading so definitely want to keep that going as we've done it since he was a baby. Do you mean that he should read to us for an hour a day? Or do you mean a combination of us reading to him and him reading to us?