What to do with a gifted child?

[Cheerfuldutch]

Hi, we're moving to the UK from the Netherlands and I'm orienting myself for a school for my 9 year old. Here, we have schools for gifted children where they are being educated and challenged at their level and can interact with peers.
Do these schools exist in the UK as well?
If not, what are the other options?

Skipping a year would place her in Year 6, which is very young to be leaving primary I think. So I'm looking for advice to do what's best for her mental, social-emotional well being and my sanity ;)
Thanks for your help!

I assume you want her to live at home not board? What area are you moving to or are you completely open?

State schools in the UK don’t generally support skipping a year.

My advice would be think very carefully about secondary education before you move, especially if you can’t afford private. Where I live, state schools are set up to cater for those who are struggling/average, and my bright but not off the charts DC finds it very frustrating.

My older two are considered 'gifted', although I don't think it's the preferred term here anymore. They are both at London grammar schools. It sounds like you will be moving for Year 5 which is perfect as the entrance exams are at the beginning of year 6. There are grammar schools in some areas, but not all. Do you know where you will be moving to?

Send her back and get another one? 😬😂

In all seriousness, I second what @BumbledBee says about thinking ahead to secondary because you only have a year or two of primary left. Primary schools (we've experienced two) aren't always brilliant at dealing with out-of-the-box thinkers, if that's the type of gifted child you have. My older DS has just started Y7 in a selective state school and has really found his tribe there. He is far more comfortable and sort of put up with the end of primary school on the promise of better to come in Y7.

Not all areas of the UK have the same access to state grammar schools - there are not many in North London, for example, and so the few which exist are super selective and entry is very competitive. Even a gifted child is likely to need tutoring, and some of the tests take place before the start of Year 6.
If your child is averagely bright , say top 20% as opposed to top 2%, then you might be better in somewhere like Kent, which has a fully fledged grammar system with many more places available.
If your child has not been educated within the English system, they may well be at a disadvantage in the tests, and more so if they have not been taught in English.
For these reasons, I don't think it will help your child to be put in with older children and sit the tests a year early. On the contrary, they will need the extra time if they are to sit competitive exams for which they have not yet been prepared. As an example, I teach Year 4 in a London state primary, and any children who are likely to want to try for a selective school have been being tutored for a few years already, no matter how bright they are.

No we don't have similar schools here.

No we generally don't put kids up a year as it's regarded as bad for their social / mental well being.

What happens to super bright kids? They either rot in state education until High School, largely over looked because they are performing at the expected level or you pay and go private pretty much.

At high school level there are slightly more options depending on where you live. Some places have grammar schools but not everywhere does. You have to take exams to get into them. Fortunately you are just about the right age to do that but you need to make sure you apply in time.

I live in an area where you have to travel out of the area to go to a grammar. There aren't any in my local authority.

You can apply for them but you have to travel. High school entry here really is a lottery in terms of where you live. Live in an expensive area and the school is better and there's more likely to be bright kids. But even then you cannot get into the local good high school unless your child is in one of the feeder primary schools now. So you have to hope you can get a space at one of them. At the moment you'd be hard pushed to as they are over subscribed.

Tbh it's an issue I think is appalling. Our local primary is really good academically and holistically. However there does seem to be an issue with the brightest kids being overlooked and there being a tendency to cater to middle abilities or those struggling with special needs.

I know of three families who have been so dishearten and felt so let down they've gone private. One is on part bursary as they can't afford full fees but their son is bright enough to have got funding. All think the local primary is really good, with good staff but they just weren't giving work at their child's level and felt that it meant they weren't going to reach full potential.

We are currently grappling with the same dilemma. We would have pulled DS but for the fact he has formed a very close and positive friendship with a kid he has known since he was 4. The pair of them are unusually close and its the type of relationship that we can see lasting a lifetime. We value that social bonding highly so don't think that it is in his interests to move him at present but we are monitoring how it goes. He is settled and happy. If thinks changed in the next year or so, we'll pull him.

No to skipping a year. Many, many state school children could manage it academically but it won’t happen.

If you have the means, avoid state school if you have a very gifted child. Even in a state school labelled outstanding, there are significant challenges associated with having 32 kids of very mixed abilities, educational needs and behavioural disorders in the classroom. Kids are graded as working below expected standard, at the expected standard and above the expected standard. If your child is “Working above” in all areas, and well-behaved, most primary teachers will be extremely grateful but find it very difficult to find time to really extend them as far as they would like to. Year 6 can feel especially slow and frustrating, as they revise material ahead of SAT tests in May (extremely dull and repetitive) and then in the summer term almost no maths or English get taught as SATs are over, the kids just mess about a lot.

if you are stuck in the state school system, consider how you can extend and enrich your child inside school (clubs, school play, making strong friendships etc) and outside school - eg private tutoring, visiting local library, cultural events and visits, watching the news together, debating at home. Also divert and distract with other activities - play dates, sports, learning to become independent by being able to organise themselves and cook/walk to the shop alone/maintain their own bike etc, drama or music lessons, science or coding clubs, Scouts or Guides to develop teamwork and leadership etc.

do you have an idea what area of the UK you are moving to?

If you can afford independent (private fee-paying)school it is likely to be your best option , offering small classes and often a higher educational standard so they expect to stretch your child further and raise expectations of academic attainment. Depending where you are in the UK they may also prepare your child for the selection tests for independent or more academic state schools (including 11+ exam for grammar schools in areas where that is applicable).

Also are you talking all-round bright, or talented in certain subjects (which ones?)? If you are talking about off-the-scale bright, some independent schools offer scholarships and bursaries which could be worth applying for.

There is excellent advice in these boards once you have a better idea where you will be living in the UK.

I think it depends on where you live. If your child is year 5, then most private schools do academic scholarship at that entry point which might be something for you to consider.

Some state schools do cater well for very intelligent kids. In fact, where I live I’d say that the state schools are generally good for either the brightest, or for those who are struggling in some way. And it’s actually those in the middle who get left behind.

Then, as others have said, you have 11+ style exams for some areas where there are selective grammar schools. I don’t live in an area that has these but most of the big towns do and many of my relatives sent their children to selective grammars. But, you must invest in tutoring for these schools as they have a particular style of exam that the child has to be prepped for.

If you can afford independent (private fee-paying)school it is likely to be your best option , offering small classes and often a higher educational standard so they expect to stretch your child further and raise expectations of academic attainment.

I think it is important to note that you don’t necessarily get academic excellence in all private schools. Some are excellent where sport is concerned, and they all have a different ethos.

We call them Private Schools here in London and there are many of them if you have the money to pay the school fees.

Just Google private schools in London and you will find many.

You don't need to do anything. Just choose the school very carefully and then from there buy a house in catchment.

I disagree with most. You don't need to do anything for a very bright child - they will do all themselves as long as you put them in a reasonable school.

I care. Both my ds's have been at the local Catholic school which has a superb reputation within Surrey. My eldest son who is just left and is about to go to university had to work very very hard to stay in the top set for Maths because there were so many children who were very very bright to whom it came naturally who had caring parents who were interested.

the school encouraged everything and has a huge amount of children applying to Oxbridge. many many children getting 9 x A star at GCSE, and 3 or 4 x A stars at A'level. many successful applications to Oxbridge (the school heavily support, encourage etc this) and this is just a normal down the road local school was just happens to be catholic.

I’d agree private school / grammar school are your best bet and you’ll need exam prep particularly for grammar. Bursaries for private school for the a truly gifted (top 2 percent) child is also available as are academic scholarships.

Also agree re grammar.
Or stare independent. Not particularly suggesting you move to Surrey as such! but here there are loads of great independents - including St George's in Weybridge which is mixed and all girls schools like Sir William Perkins, both of which are superb.

My dd1 was considered gifted from starting school. They met her needs within the classroom - she was working on secondary school maths by 8.

Secondary schools aren't interested in gifted children. DD has just finished her GCSEs and has spent the entire of her school life being ignored, told off for being bored after she's finished her work, had sarcastic comments made about her lack of effort compared to her top grades, and never once received a merit or award.

I'd stay in the Netherlands at all costs!

I’d pick a good state primary and assume you’ll need to provide a lot of extra interesting stuff outside school (music, sport, dance etc) as she’ll find it easy. Especially as Y6 is focused on SATs, which tends to narrow the curriculum until they are done, and then turn into lots of fun activities after them.

Then look at selective secondaries (state and private) within commuting distance. The bigger name private schools are more likely to have generous bursary schemes, if you need financial help.

At that point, post on the secondary education board and ask about those schools, visit them, decide which would suit your dd, and how to prep for their entrance exams and then apply. You will need to prepare her, but it doesn’t necessarily need an expensive tutor - there’s lots of online stuff and books you can buy.

Neither private nor state schools would countenance skipping a year here. I'm also not sure what the end point is? To be at university a year early? It seems a bit pointless.

We've sent our kids to private school. One is in that category (really dislike the word gifted). Most of the subjects are streamed by ability from secondary (and partly at primary) and the school is academically selective. There's lots of different extracurricular activities on offer and they enter various external essay competitions etc. That's enough for me.

My son in that category may be academic but is disorganised and lacks some of the social skills of my other son. They're equally as important to 'success' in my view.

If you're looking at state schools, I'd go for an area with grammar schools (Bucks has some excellent ones).

Like others have said, it depends on whether you can afford private education. Some private schools will cater more for more academically able children (a phrase I prefer to "gifted" myself as all children have gifts whatever their academic abilities).

My daughter is academically able and goes to a small selective private day school (paid for by her father - I could not afford it). She is 10. She is in the correct year group for her age which I prefer, tho some children are skipped ahead in this school. They tend to move back to their correct year in the end though, for social reasons.

To give you a flavour, she has some specific learning difficulties (moderate dyslexia) but is in the top 0.1 % of her age group in some areas such as verbal reasoning, according to the ed psych. So she is an academically strong child, tho not without some learning challenges. She tends to be in the top 5 in her school in most subjects at exam time and top in one or two subjects which are her strongest ones (they do loads of exams in this school - not sure how great that is but still). I hate talking about her like this, because I don't think any of these things are the most important things about her - but I am trying to give you some context to the situation I am describing. There are only about 40 kids in her year group. Probably all would be achieving slightly above average academically (it is an academically selective school as I said) but there is still quite a wide range within that from what I can tell.

If it was my parenting choice alone I would probably prefer a good state primary for her, as we are a working class family in terms of background so I think it would be an easier fit for her socially. But I do accept my ex's argument that she is now in a school that caters for her abilities and needs successfully. Some state primaries could do that too I would argue - maybe not all.

Probably you need to start with looking at the options in the area you are moving to and go from there. All schools are different as are all kids. I don't agree that the state system is universally bed with more able kids over here - there is wide variety between schools. Some state schools are great! (I have reason to know this because of my area of work). Others less strong. Same with private schools really.

Gloucestershire has some excellent state and private schools. If you look at catchment areas Cheltenham there is Balcaras as a secondary school and Pates as a grammar. Plus Cheltenham Ladies College and Dean Close as private schools,

I'm going to go against the grain a bit here ... the best thing you can do with a gifted child is let them have a childhood where they're not under pressure to be "gifted". Make sure she mixes and develops social skills with those who aren't gifted, and has the opportunity for all the play and day-to-day life of a child which she might miss when she's older. She'll still be "gifted" after two years in a normal primary school, they won't somehow remove her giftedness.

As she goes to secondary, she needs to be able to work academically with other gifted kids and socialise with others too ... ie a good school in a mixed catchment.

I found this and they don't support early entry. I had to fight and fight and fight for my daughter to do GCSE maths early and even then they refused and I had to do it privately. The headteacher just refused point blank. She did her GCSE a year later than planned in Year 9 and as a result she got a level 9 but she would of got that the year before. She did an Advanced course last year again as a private entry in a private school and got the highest mark in the school & country and an A (no A* for that course available nationally). It was only at this point her state school agreed a meeting with me and her and admitted there was a huge issue. She is doing 10 GCSEs currently sitting on track to get level 9s if she sits them all today. ALL the teachers are giving her A Level work in all her subject. She is gaining full marks on all examination papers eg 54/54 under exam conditions. But they have finally seen a huge problem.

They have radically changed her timetable and fortunately it is working in Maths - all her lessons are in Year 13 and this crosses the box for Maths. Although she has done A level she is doing A Level further maths and another maths a level and enjoying it -she is down to sit a two further maths a levels this summer along with her GCSEs .For her other subjects she could sit any of them at a level and is level 9 is all of them. So instead she is using some of the time to do GCSEs in latin and greek which are not taught in her school -but the school are paying for her to do them online. She has also got down the rabbit hole of various maths theorems and is happy with the maths teachers at school -as they enjoy her company apparently and two maths teacher in particular have taken her under they wing and one has a phd and loves talking about the same theories. Rather then her going off on her own they invite her in to their staff room and discuss maths with her. She is doing a BTEC in leadership as well.

So it can be done but my god it was hard. They kept talking about social aspects. She has friends, she is autistic, but really she needs to go to university and meet people she can bond with over work. She come home this week and made a new friend Joanne who is in Year 13 but did her a level in Year 12. Her and Jo are loving working together etc all good. She has friends at Explorers (she is the only girl) and is popular in her year and very sociable but she bonds with people over studying.

This is not the norm -the above. You will normally need a high academic private school who are supportive -I can recommend some but they do not come cheap!

We are taking this route at the moment but I have my reservations.

Mainly because I was that child and being in a mixed state school probably didn't serve me well. I didn't form those magic relationships because I didn't fit well because of being bright and how it was still social death.

As long as DS has strong close relationships we will go with it. The local high school is good. But we are definitely keeping an open mind over the next two years before we have to make that decision.

I think part of the problem is that the system doesn't allow the identification of those that are exceptionally gifted. All those children getting 9s at gcse and A star are not exceptionally gifted.

I do think that those who are exceptional will have a natural curiosity and will seek out ways to extend themselves. Parents pay a key part, it's not just the education system that provides education, It's also important to remember that being gifted and very academically able isn't the only important thing. Developing socially and emotionally is also key.

I think part of the problem is that the system doesn't allow the identification of those that are exceptionally gifted. All those children getting 9s at gcse and A star are not exceptionally gifted.

But does that really matter? The more academic pupils at our school enter the various essay, science, engineering etc competitions. These type of kids tend to go to Oxbridge etc where I'm sure they're adequately stretched.

Looking beyond education, being academically gifted wouldn't correlate to being a good employee or a measure of future success. Perhaps in certain more niche careers and academia but not across the board.

While I can only speak for finance and investment banking, we were looking for people who were numerate/reasonably academic but, above all, were prepared to work hard and, given we worked long hours, would fit in/not be obnoxious/be good at client relationships. We used universities as a filter, but it didn't matter whether people had As or A stars for example.

We tested our daughter at age 6 (now 9) and found she was exceptionally gifted. She attends a normal state school and works along others.

She has a good group of friends and loves going to school although she finds most academic subjects very straightforward. We extend her outside of school with a new language, maths problems (the type you'd find in Uk maths challenges), debating skills, etc. she loves playing sports too.

So I wouldn't necessarily agree that going to a private school necessarily is the only option. With the right kind of friends and environment, you could still have a happy and thriving child