August born- advice on holding back a year?

[Arlr]

My son is born in August. He will have just turned 4 when he's due to start school next year (2023)- making him the youngest of the year.

I've seen research about how kids with summer birthdays are more likely to struggle academically and socially throughout their school years- understandably so. My son is also tiny (v short) for his age, and emotionally quite behind (though I know a lot can change in a year).

I'm from USA where holding back a year is very common. I have family members who have done the same with advice being "give them the gift of childhood" which resonates with me and our sons position.

Just wondering as I've heard very mixed things from parent friends here in the UK- ranging from it bit being possible, to it being common practice just a bit of a faff with admin initially...

question is: any advice? is this possible? Any tips for pursing this?

Yes it's very possible. Join the Facebook group flexible advice for summer Born's which will give you all the information you need.

Good luck- best decision we made for our August born!

Thank you - I've joined now! That's really helpful

My August born has just started reception aged 5 years and 2 weeks.

There was no way he would have been ready to start school just after his 4th birthday.

It was very easy for me to get the schools agreement to delay his start by a year whereas other areas can be more difficult.

the Facebook group supported above is amazing!!

Go with your gut feeling. I have two August borns- one was ready and one was not.
Twenty years I have no regrets and both did equally well academically (all A and A* at A level) despite different starting points.

Their emotional development is far more important at 4 years old and some are just not ready.

I’d agree with PPs. DD is about to start reception at just-turned-5 this week. She’s a different child from this time last year. I am so grateful that we deferred her entry. It would have been a huge struggle for her last September. There’s also another child in her class who’s deferred, so thankfully it’s becoming more normal.

My just turned 5 year old also started reception tomorrow. She's so excited and ready to learn!
The Facebook group is really helpful.

When my august born started school there wasn't the option to defer. She was always tired by the end of the term, even at high school, and took ages to settle in reception. I remember the teacher saying she hadn't finished her work and could she do it at home? I said no. However, she got really good SATS scores at 11 and went on to get a nice array of GCSEs. I do wonder how it would have been to be the oldest in the class and have her nursery class peers start school without her.

You are still a year away and they change hugely within that year. Keep your options open, some are ready at 4, some need a little more time.

My DS is August-born and started at 4 and three weeks. He found the first term physically tiring, I needed to ensure he had supper and went to bed early to cope, but I think they all do. I'd leave him to sleep in at weekends too to compensate.

Mentally, he loved school and took to all the extra stimulation and social interaction immediately. Reception class involved a lot of drawing and colouring, building with lego, being read to as a group, being out in the natural world etc. Basics like counting and writing letters but a lot of play as well.

If your child goes to nursery or a good childminder, it should be a natural step up. So look at schools for next year but be ready to pull out is you feel the same, closer to start date.

I work in education and research suggests it takes until year 5 for summer born children to catch up with their peers (admittedly that won't be true for all) my DS starts tomorrow, summer born, I'm concerned but deferring is really difficult in my area due to schools trying to catch up with the effects of covid.
I honestly think, if I wasn't working then I would of deferred him. Like previous posters say, the emotional side of development is so important and here in England we literally drag our children through the educational system with little focus on well being, as we have so many box ticking targets we must meet.
My friend has just deferred her twins and tbh I'm jealous.

I live in Scotland and it's much more common for deferrals up here. We treat our entry criteria differently (the year you turn 5 but from march to Feb) and there is one less year of school but the youngest in the years become the dec-feb babies which up until now it's been common to defer but now if your child hasn't turned 5 by day 1 of primary you can defer without any issues.

All the teachers we know suggest keeping them in nursery as long as possible as the kids will be more mature and rounded by the time they hit exams.

I have 2 August babies! I didnt hold them back. Oldest just started Year 2. Ahead in reading, on target in maths and writing. Loves school. Youngest starts reception this week - no concerns.

School is a wonderful part of childhood imo and I'm glad I didn't hold them back.

To many people try defer because of summer born children unless it's a medical issue I don't think it should happen. Most of the kids are in the same boat and soon come on leaps and bounds. I have 2 summer born children and would never dream of deferring for a year because I thought they weren't ready.

Holding back both my August born children was the best thing we did. They were completely unprepared socially for such a big change despite going to nursery. The extra year at nursery helped them really develop in a familiar place, make friends, be less shy etc so by the following September they were ready for school. We have never regretted it.

Would echo PPs.

Our summer born DD is about to start reception in a few days, aged five. Was definitely the right choice.

The FB group you've joined was a huge help for me as well.

I'm a teacher. We can spot summer born kids in a class in reception and ks1 a mile off. They do catch up in ks2.
My dd is August born we deferred and now yr4 and no regrets, she wasn't ready. She's literally 14 days older than her best friend now so no big age difference at all.

Echoing PPs. DS is older so we had to fight hard to do it. Back then MN was extremely anti deferring, nice to see attitudes have changed.

That Facebook group is worth its weight in gold.

Also don't worry about how it looks to other kids. DS is very proud of being the oldest and the other kids look up to him. He's an August baby, his best friend is September, they often have joint ninth parties in the summer.

Is he starting nursery? My daughter is the same age, starting school nursery for 15 hours this week and I'm seeing how it goes. They change so much in a year. I have a number of friends who's children are a few month older than mine and I don't notice a difference. I have a feeling she may fall asleep at nursery! But it is what it is.
I wouldn't want to hold her back and then she being the oldest and bored. I'm also thinking about when she is older and wondering why she is behind in a school year

I don't agree with it to be honest, someone's got to be youngest 🤷🏼‍♀️
And I say that as someone whose just turned 4 year old starts school ok Tuesday.

I found this decision so hard. My august born was socially and emotionally very ready for school but unable to hold a pencil and didn't know any letters. So he couldn't write his name let alone recognise it on his peg. He could self toilet and follow instructions, sit and listen, dress himself - and we were advised that for school these skills were more important. So we didn't defer and he loved school as a just turned 4 year old. For the 1st 2 years he was probably bottom of the class but he was progressing well. In Y2 he went off like a rocket and now Y5 he's comfortably top 1/3 for everything. I think deferring is a great option for many summer born children, especially boys. But I also think they do catch up, and I'm glad now I didn't defer.

I would definitely hold him back. It is not even just how school ready he is now. Will he be emotionally mature enough when puberty hits? What about in 6th year?

I am pregnant and having a December baby. We are in Scotland, so a different system. A December baby here is like a summer born in England. I was speaking to the head of my son's school and she said she would discourage us from starting the baby until later. That was great, as I was worried it would be complicated to hold her back, but our school prefers it.

It's a tough decision to make but it comes down to the individual child. I'm an August baby and when I was a child, it wasn't even a subject for consideration to defer. I never felt like I struggled compared to my peers. I was always in the top sets for English and Maths throughout both primary and secondary school. I struggled with Science but otherwise, I never felt like I was behind. Similarly, my best friend was a late July baby and she was always in the same classes as me.

Interestingly, we had a 1st September girl in my year group, and a 31st August (the following year), and whilst the 1st September girl was a full year older, she was in the lower sets compared with the 31st August born.

I appreciate though that these examples are likely the exceptions to the rule rather than the rule. I think only you will know what's best for your little one closer to the time, but I'm sure whatever decision you make will be the best for them x

I'm confused on the puberty point. Holding him back a year won't delay his puberty a year. Please don't think I'm being obtuse or confrontational. I'm really not, I am genuinely interested. I've just never heard this referenced before and have never considered it being something to consider. Could you explain more what impact holding back a year has on maturity for puberty? X

I am an August child and my son is as well.
I cannot remember it being a problem.
My sons best friends throughout primary and secondary all summer birthdays and they have all done exceptionally well academically.

Of course it won't delay puberty, but it can be difficult to be the last to develop. I am a sex therapist and see a lot of guys who carry difficulties into adulthood due to feeling inferior as their classmates had beards while they were obviously physically behind.

Obviously, there is no fixed point for that as it is so different from person to person, but chances are the younger one will develop after.

Here in Scotland, there can be a 15 month difference between the youngest and oldest. I am not sure if the gap can be as big in England, but I wouldn't want my child, particularly a boy to be set up to develop last.