Help Needed Deciding What To Do About Schools

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Hi, I really need some advice.

My 4 your DD has been attending a nursery attached to a private school since 2. She goes full time and loves it. The school is lovely, and they really nurture each child. I’m a single parent and pretty much have been from the start. The school is in an affluent area with unaffordable house prices.

At the start this year I bought a house in a different town (I was renting before) within a catchment area to some outstanding primary schools. The plan was for DD to continue to attend her current nursery till September and start reception at a state school near our new house. However, we were offered a place at a school rated inadequate by Ofsted. I launched an appeal with the council and put her on a waiting list.

I also asked the private school for financial help and surprisingly, was offered a substantial bursary. In the meantime, the council informed me the reception class is limited to 30 and is unlikely the appeal will be upheld so I accepted the bursary, cancelled the appeal, and asked them to remove DD from their waiting lists.

Last week we bought some very expensive uniform and DD is all excited about staying on and starting reception with her friends.

However, yesterday, completely out of blue, I received an email from the council saying that a place became available at our preferred school and if we want it. The school is rated outstanding by Ofsted and it’s only a short walk from the house, where the other school is 20 minutes’ drive away.

I have no idea what to do. I can just about afford the fees but I’m worried about the rising cost of living. Also, my mortgage is currently fixed till 2024 but I reckon by then, the interest will much higher, and the mortgage repayments could well be double.

But I don’t want to deny DD this amazing opportunity and she really loves her current school. Please help.

I would go for the outstanding State Primary
It will be easier financially and logistically, plus you can save for Secondary if it’s necessary. My DC go to Private Secondary but did well at State Primary and there was no issue with transition. I think there is no need for Private Primary unless the State provision is unsuitable for your child.

Take the state school place. The fees for the private school will only increase over time and you are in a vulnerable position as a one income family.

I know you might feel grateful to the private school for offering the bursary and feel some guilt for changing your mind, but you have to do whats right for your family.

Try and sell the uniform second hand and take any loss on the chin. It will pale into insignificance compared to the £££ in school fees that you could be paying.

Do you need to reapply for the bursary every year? How secure are your jobs and how much of a stretch are the fees now?

If you’re going to find private unaffordable without substantial help then take the state school place now, as it will only be harder on everyone to move her later. Also, a school within walking distance is a wonderful thing.

One thing though, you may be liable for 1 terms fees at the Private school.
I would still go for the State option though

Take the state school place. There is no point embarking on private education if you can only "just about afford the fees". See if you can return the uniform or at least sell it. You'll probably have to pay a term's fees but think about how much you will be saving!

Big up the amazing local school, the fact you can walk there and that she will have friends nearby to DD. If they have a summer fair, go to it.

State primary all the way.

She will very quickly forget the current school and it doesn’t sound like you can comfortably afford the private school.

I’ve heard price rises in private schools are regular and steep. Plus you need to factor in more expensive uniform (needing replacing regularly), more expensive trips, birthday parties etc. I also don’t think a private primary will be significantly if at all better than an outstanding state primary and the shorter journey alone would swing it for me.

Private schools get rapidly more expensive as will the cost to to and fro. Take the local place.

I would accept the state school place. Your daughter will soon make friends and you will be free of the worry of school fees, which can get very expensive over the years.

I'm not against private schools, but they have expensive uniforms, extras such as trips abroad, music lessons which are paid for separately from fees, and a general expectation that parents can afford all the extras.

I agree with state school. It's lovely to be able to walk to school and have local friends and if they withdraw the bursary you'll be buggered.

Not always
Never seen that

It's an informal arrangement subject to annual review. I didn't have to fill any formal bursary application, it was all done via email. I don't think I would have to pay 1 term fees.

I agree, the fees increased loads since my daughter started. However, we agreed to a fixed monthly fee and not a percentage of their fees if that makes senses. They know I'm a single mother so must know there is only so much I can pay.

If they do "informal arrangements" it could easily change suddenly. How financially secure a school is it?

Very secure, no worries there at all.

It's not just the school fees it's the cost of other activities, that often go with the private school education, that increases the cost.

If you need to rely on a bursary to go there then you're stretched right from the start, without extra costs. You've already said the uniform was very expensive. 4 year olds grow a lot and wreck clothes so there will be more uniform to buy.

Expensive school trips, expensive sports equipment, costly after school activities etc. You might not get too much of this in Reception but it may well increase as your DD gets older.

I'd take the state school place. Not only for cost reasons but also the benefit of being able to walk there rather than having to drive everyday. She'll have local friends too.

Hopefully you can sell the uniform on to someone else or get a refund as it's not been worn.

Take the state school place.

The fees will increase and the liklihood of this bursary being there every eyear would be far too much stress.

If your daughter starts this school and the rug is pulled from under her feet which is a very likely possibility you'll be kicking yourself that you've not only declined the state school place but that you've put her in a situation where she is leaving her friends years down the line and moving into a new school with established friendships.

By moving her now it's a natural splitting point, she will start with everyone else and most crucially you lose the fear of the bursary not being there.

Yes, take the state school near your house.
Not just the fees potentially an issue but main advantage being it is
close to your house.

Single parent or no, organisation of school runs is all about route management.

You will save so much time because it is nearby and also will help you as you will probably make school mum/dad/carer friends near your house. It will be really good to build a support network for yourself.

Take the outstanding local state school and sell the expensive uniform.

The advantages of going to school round the corner from your friends can't be underplayed.

It's an excellent school.

There is no guarantee of financial help in the future.

Private schools get more expensive as the child gets older

Better to move her now.

They know I'm a single mother so must know there is only so much I can pay.

They’re a business at the end of the day. They don’t decide things on moral grounds. From what you’ve said I’d be really wary, OP. Take the state school place.

If it's any consolation, all children I know had found new friends within days of starting primary, and genuinely 100% forgotten anything about nursery (wouldn't even remember where it was if they hadn't been reminded) by year 1.

State.

Yes your DD will be upset but she is 4 years old, with her whole education in front of her.

My DS started reception in school 1. He went for his first morning. School 1 was a 30 min walk away, recently out of special measures*. End of the first morning we got a call to say he had a place in School 2 - our first choice, less than 5 mins walk, lovely feeling to it. He cried a LOT when we told him. But we won him round after an evening (although 7 years later he still tells me how nice the reception classroom was in school 1).

I’d switch it for the walk alone, let alone the financial security it gives you.

• school 1 just-out-of-special-measures actually had a very impressive senior leadership team. Within a few years school 1 was getting better SATs that school 2, despite a way more challenging group of children. DS would have been absolutely fine in school 1.

They might know, they might not care
Some Private schools are good at offering reduced fees in some circumstances but not usually if they are oversubscribed. Are the school finances solid?

Coming at this from another angle, if you take the state school place, and I absolutely think you should, if you are ill there will no doubt be a local parent who is able to collect your DD and take her to school and return her back home too. I have had 2 children go through primary and this occasionally happened.

Location, walking so no petrol costs, and no education cost is a no brainer. The other school could pull any bursary from you and prices are only ever going to increase. Take the state school place.

OP, I'm absolutely with the majority above in saying take the state school place.

All kids have some transition from nursery to big school, it's a no brainer to move her now, as opposed to mid-way through if the fees suddenly climbed.

You've also got no way of knowing if there'd be a state school place for her if you needed to move her further down the line.

ALSO - we live a couple of mins walk from our DS's primary and it's great for his social life. Lots of impromptu play dates and everyone is really local. We have friends who send their kids to a village school 15mins drive away as they think it's better, and their kids never see any friends outside school at all - all the other kids are super local to that school and won't drive to a play date.

Honestly, I think you've been really lucky and it would be foolish to turn down the state school place in these circumstances.