teacher making children cry

[Flamingoose]

I'm hoping for replies from teachers here. I know parents will be outraged. I would like a teacher's perspective.

I'm a learning assistant / teacher aide (person other than a teacher who is in the classroom to support a specific child).

One of the classes I work in has a very grumpy teacher. She would probably say she's 'strict' or 'no-nonsense' but tbh she's snappy and grumpy. Very experienced teacher. 7-8 yr old children. 50% ESL kids in the class.

This teacher is not good at giving instructions. She talks all around the houses, contradicts herself, gives irrelevant information, too many instructions at once etc. The children often have NO IDEA what they're supposed to be doing. Then the teacher shouts at them for not knowing ("WELL YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN LISTENING!") and she won't let me help in any way because she wants it to be "their own work" - she literally shouts at me not to talk to the children. She says she wants them to just give it a go and it doesn't matter if it's wrong, because they're learning. But that's simply not true, if anyone gets things wrong she will ridicule them. The children are frozen in terror of making a mistake. They're scared to ask for clarification. They're too stressed to learn anything half the time. Yesterday she put all the 'wrong' answers on the board and read them out in a really eye-rolly way after telling them that "any answer is fine, it's just what you think".

I have spoken to senior school management about a specific incident in the past (she lost her temper and red-carded a child who wasn't really doing anything wrong) . I was very clear that I was officially letting them know her exact behavior and that this wasn't some strange one-off.

Yesterday she made 3 children cry at once with her snapping and shouting. It was awful. I tried to go and comfort them but she yelled at me to "leave her alone, it's fine , she just has to learn". I did manage to step in and stop her haranguing one child.

I find myself in a situation where 2 adults are in a room. One of them is being unkind to small children. The other adult (me) either needs to do something, or is complicit in this.

1. Please confirm that making children cry in class is not okay? Serious question. Children cry a lot at school, but this is different, right?
2. Any advice on what I say to senior management? What is my goal here?

I'm just a mum who volunteered a lot and ended up in this role. The teacher has worked there for over 10 years and is extremely experienced. I can't say nothing, but, what do I say?

Do I first talk directly to the teacher? Tell her I'm uncomfortable with how she speaks to me and the children?
Do I go straight to senior management? I have a good relationship with them and they will believe me.

What a dreadful situation. As a very experienced specialist teacher who has supported children in their mainstream classes I know exactly the type of teacher you work with. You will get nowhere talking to her directly. I would start by writing down all the times this has happened and then absolutely report to senior management. I would be shocked if there weren't already aware of the situation.
Good luck!

Yes go straight to management, it’s not your responsibility to fix this, but you need to let them know the full extent so they can take action.
have none of the parents complained? At my school the SLT would have had a queue of parents at the door by now!

I’m a teacher and this is not ok at all. You should definitely tell the head. Don’t worry about being disloyal to the teacher. It’s a safeguarding concern.

Who is the DSL? You need to make a safeguarding disclosure, not 'have a whinge about the teacher'.

I was in exactly the same situation when my children were at primary. I worked as a TA with an experienced but crap teacher, who gave crap instructions that even I couldn't understand. Then bollocked the kids when they couldn't do it. I complained, some pupils left. In the end a group of parents complained, one of whom was a school governor. The LEA got involved and she left. It took a few years and lots of complaints and evidence to get rid of her. It's awful the way that some teachers treat kids - and I'm a secondary school teacher. Keep complaining OP, you are the only voice those poor kids have.

This is totally unacceptable. Please report your concerns to the Headteacher.

TOTALLY unacceptable for a teacher to treat any child like this let alone young ones who have done nothing wrong. It makes me so sad to think this is happening. I work with children who are not presently attending school and many have severe school anxiety/trauma that has been triggered by awful school experiences like the ones you describe. Please go to SLT as a matter of urgency, this is an abusive teacher which means this is a safeguarding concern.

Report them to whoever is over her, ie phase leader or SLT. I am a volunteer in a primary and I have had to report a teacher once in over a decade of working there. It was in great contrast to the rest of the teaching staff, LSAs etc who were honestly fantastic at their jobs. I did feel awful doing it but it needed pointing out. Fortunately for me I spoke to the LSA who also worked in the class on other days to me to see if it was me being picky or whether it was just when I was in the classroom. She told me to report it too as she had also reported it.

As this is the second time you are doing this I would probably put it in writing that you want a meeting regarding X as the previous incident you reported the behaviour in the classroom hasn't improved. That way there is a paper trail for your reporting just in case they try to sweep it under the carpet.

Please go.
My daughters school has several hideous old TA's who have made many kids lives a misery. I have complained over and over and she now has been told not to interact with my daughter.
I really wish other staff had complained about them and can't belive they haven't but it would have helped me when I've complained.

There should be a copy of the school's whistleblowing policy in the staffroom and on the school website. This is exactly the situation where you need to follow that policy.

Teacher.
This is not ok, sometimes I’ve made children cry by accident (they got caught/feeling emotional/ anger etc) but reducing them to tears is not on - of course it’s not. She sounds vile and a terrible teacher. Whistleblowing policy. Poor kiddos. I’m sorry there are teachers like this. Most of us care deeply about the children and want the best for them.

Jeeps - that is dreadful. I am the staffing governor at a primary school and not only would I expect you to report the situation, but I would expect the head to be talking with me about it. This is not acceptable; but it is not your job to deal with it.

I am surprised that parents have not flagged this up.

Former teacher here.

Absolutely terrifying how many adults that work in schools shouldn't be there.

Sorry, not a very helpful comment, but sending solidarity. It's an awful thing to see and part of the reason I home school my children.

On behalf of all parents, please report this, really, really soon!

Write it down - dates and examples as a statement and REPORT !!!!!

It’s not normal to make children cry in these situations.

imagine it was your child. You are t going to get anywhere sadly speaking directly - pass this on!

Please please please report this behaviour to the head teacher. My child’s mental health was ruined by a teacher like this resulting in school refusal.
imagine having a boss that terrified you for 30 hours a week with no power to escape.
children should not be subjected to this.

This is not normal. Please write everything down and report to your safeguarding lead, online ideally so you have proof of the conversations. Good luck, these children need you to fight their corner.

This teacher wouldn’t last 5 minutes in any of the schools I go into in the UK. Where is this school? Some of your descriptions makes me think it isn’t England?

I'm a governor and we had a Y3 teacher (so almost same aged children in her care) who exhibited a number of behaviours you've mentioned... ridiculing children who've got it wrong, not tailoring her teaching so all could access, not allowing TAs to do their jobs. Our school also has a very high level of ESL which presents its own challenges.

Luckily, our Head received several complaints so observed a lesson - the teacher was gone before the end of that half term. I think the fact you've been brushed off in the past might make it daunting but agree with the 'put it in writing' and don't let yourself be fobbed off. You're the only voice some of these children will have - especially those who's English is not their first language.

Good luck!

THIS IS NOT OKAY. Please report her.

Ask the headteacher if you can make an appointment to talk to her. Outline what is going on in detail to him/her. It’s completely unacceptable.

And it doesn’t matter if she’s been there 10 years or 10 months. A one off snappy moment is different - this is ongoing.

Please report. This really isn't okay. I'd be heartbroken to think I was sending my child into this class.

It's not OK at all. I'd go to HoY, then leadership team and governors.

Background to my answer - I’m a teacher (although not that age group). I am strict and no-nonsense and I have made students cry. More details at the of my post because someone will ask.

You’ve asked what your goal should be here. Well, that is up to you. But at a guess I would say you want to enjoy your job, help the children learn, and change the teacher’s behavior. The first two are predicated on the last. And changing someone else’s behavior isn’t easy.

1. Report to senior management. You did it verbally last time about the red card which is what I would have advised. Given this is an ongoing pattern of behavior, I would probably do verbal one more time and then go to written.
2. Be specific about the incidents. Describe what happens. Highlight this is a repeated pattern of behavior. Tell them you are uncomfortable. Either ask them what to do or asked them to confirm what you are doing (comforting/not ignoring the distressed children) is ok.
3. Speak to the teacher directly. Don’t engage in a lengthy conversation. Say words to the effect of ‘I am not comfortable when you speak to me or the children like that. Please don’t do it again’. That is enough for the teacher to know her behavior is lacking.
4. Hopefully, senior management will do something at that point. If not, escalate to the governors. Speak to them as both a TA (employee) and parent and stress how this is not how the children should be treated or taught.
5. Be aware that you might be moved from that class to another because of a ‘breakdown in your relationship with the teacher’. Don’t drop it if that happens. Continue to stand up for yourself and the children.

My crying students: One was a teenager who had misunderstood something in class, I (reasonably gently) corrected her and she cried. In her defence, she had put a lot of work into something I had just told her she couldn’t use. We went outside, talked about how to she could do it differently. I gave her a hug (not in the UK, more acceptable elsewhere) and we moved on. The second student was 60+, cheated openly on a test, cried when I put her test paper in the bin. The third student was a 16 year old who was usually a good, quiet, diligent student but was acting up and interrupting class repeatedly. I told her to wait outside while I finished and then we could talk about her behaviour. She was later found crying her eyes out in the head’s office and was super apologetic the following day.