teacher making children cry

[Flamingoose]

I'm hoping for replies from teachers here. I know parents will be outraged. I would like a teacher's perspective.

I'm a learning assistant / teacher aide (person other than a teacher who is in the classroom to support a specific child).

One of the classes I work in has a very grumpy teacher. She would probably say she's 'strict' or 'no-nonsense' but tbh she's snappy and grumpy. Very experienced teacher. 7-8 yr old children. 50% ESL kids in the class.

This teacher is not good at giving instructions. She talks all around the houses, contradicts herself, gives irrelevant information, too many instructions at once etc. The children often have NO IDEA what they're supposed to be doing. Then the teacher shouts at them for not knowing ("WELL YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN LISTENING!") and she won't let me help in any way because she wants it to be "their own work" - she literally shouts at me not to talk to the children. She says she wants them to just give it a go and it doesn't matter if it's wrong, because they're learning. But that's simply not true, if anyone gets things wrong she will ridicule them. The children are frozen in terror of making a mistake. They're scared to ask for clarification. They're too stressed to learn anything half the time. Yesterday she put all the 'wrong' answers on the board and read them out in a really eye-rolly way after telling them that "any answer is fine, it's just what you think".

I have spoken to senior school management about a specific incident in the past (she lost her temper and red-carded a child who wasn't really doing anything wrong) . I was very clear that I was officially letting them know her exact behavior and that this wasn't some strange one-off.

Yesterday she made 3 children cry at once with her snapping and shouting. It was awful. I tried to go and comfort them but she yelled at me to "leave her alone, it's fine , she just has to learn". I did manage to step in and stop her haranguing one child.

I find myself in a situation where 2 adults are in a room. One of them is being unkind to small children. The other adult (me) either needs to do something, or is complicit in this.

1. Please confirm that making children cry in class is not okay? Serious question. Children cry a lot at school, but this is different, right?
2. Any advice on what I say to senior management? What is my goal here?

I'm just a mum who volunteered a lot and ended up in this role. The teacher has worked there for over 10 years and is extremely experienced. I can't say nothing, but, what do I say?

Do I first talk directly to the teacher? Tell her I'm uncomfortable with how she speaks to me and the children?
Do I go straight to senior management? I have a good relationship with them and they will believe me.

I’ve worked with this sort of teacher before. Usually the type who have been teachers for a long time and think they’re being brisk/no nonsense but in fact seem harsh and unkind. Just my own personal experience is that talking to this type of person won’t go well. My experience is that they take it as you whinging/complaining for nothing and think they know best. I would go straight to management and present them with a list of these behaviours just in a really factual way. So rather than ‘she made me feel xyz’ or ‘she can be mean’ I’d say more things like ‘when doing a project she explained the work as xyz, however there was a contradiction in her explanation. When a child asked for clarification she shouted that they should have listened. I attempted to help the child at which point she then also shouted at me’ or ‘Mrs x wrote children’s wrong answers on the board and read them out in a disparaging way, saying they were wrong/bad answers and pointing out who had written them. This upset some children.’

If you go into it specifying her behaviours it’s harder for it to turn into an issue of ‘oh the TA is being over sensitive/doesn’t like me. She can argue with ‘Miss X makes me feel upset’ by saying you’re too sensitive or don’t take direction well but faced with her own actions it’s hard for her to say she didn’t do those things.

I would also check your school’s behaviour and staff policy. Teachers should not be yelling at children or ridiculing them, it will be against the school ethos/policy. No school will have that as appropriate behaviour. And as for yelling at other adults in the classroom I can’t see why you put up with that at all. If a teacher shouted at me once I’d go straight to management/leadership that day and make a complaint. I wouldn’t allow anyone to shout at me in my place of work, it’s entirely inappropriate. Even more so around children.

Thank you everyone.
I have made an appointment with the SLT.
I will take my notes of exactly what happened, and what my concerns are.

No, what you are saying is not ok.

Every teacher at some point will have to get cross. I had to use what my children know as my Grumpy Words today and had to use a slightly raised and extremely firm voice because as a class there were just too many bad choices being made (jumping on each other, randomly screaming, throwing things). It was rectified by over loading those who made correct choices with stickers and praise and rounding off the afternoon much more smoothly with lots of positive reinforcement.

One child cried because they didn’t get a sticker today, and I’m sitting here half wracked with guilt for making them cry, despite having a calm explanation with her as to why, in which she also said the wrong choices she made. She and I had ended the conversation on “tomorrow is a new day, today is done, remember to wear the good choice hat tomorrow and you’ll have a shiny sticker to be proud of”. I’m currently reflecting, analysing my choices, feeling guilty but also feeling like I did the right thing getting firm and this will hopefully nip it as it normally does. She cried because she didn’t get a reward today but I know not rewarding her will make her realise that throwing classroom items is not something she should be doing. Of course I don’t want to see a 5 year old cry.

Your teacher doesn’t sound good. Children should not be scared of the teacher or scared of making mistakes. There’s a big difference between being firm with a child you know hasn’t listened and realising “ok if several children don’t understand or are making the same mistake we need to tackle this a different way”. This teacher clearly can’t reflect on herself and will likely be deaf to criticism. There’s also a big difference between a child being upset because of a sanction (for example loosing a few minutes of play) and crying in fright due to humiliation and levels of shouting.

I would approach senior management with written examples of what you have witnessed. Your teacher can’t undermine you like that either. I’ve been a TA and it’s painful being “told off” by a teacher in front of the children. Really hard. Request a meeting with the Head ASAP.

Oh gosh, I’m an LSA and would hate this - you should go straight to the head teacher and I would keep a log of events and examples of when she makes kids cry / belittles them etc. If you get no joy from the head teacher I would involve the governors or the LA.

please say something as you have a duty to the little people in your care…. Hard as it is to speak up (I know I’ve been there!)

I’m a parent of a child (with special needs) who had a teacher very similar to this and in the end my child was so traumatised I ended up getting them signed off medically with anxiety whilst I sought to secure another specialist placement for them - which we have now done. This was after numerous meetings with the school- unfortunately there was no one there like you providing any evidence or back up to say she was being horrible / unreasonable, it was just our word against hers (and this was a complex needs school). So really I just want to say thank you for whistle blowing on this and sticking up for these kids. You are all that they have to say this is not okay. Well done.

Whistleblowing policy? If you’ve already tried other methods, this would be the next step. You should be able to find it amongst the school’s policies.

We had teachers like this but during the 90s, I can name three off the top of my head from Yr4 to Yr6. It makes you jumpy and feel very unsupported as a child. As a work colleague and as a parent I wouldn't be terribly impressed. I know a PP has mentioned that she's no nonsense but not at primary school level and not in a 50% ESL class. I'm an ESL teacher myself - it's a completely different ball game. I think you absolutely have a responsibility to raise this again with senior management. She could be burnt out and depressed though so go in with concern for everyone rather than criticism. Is this group of 7 to 8 year olds her usual class or does she normally take older pupils?

The heads will know already. Teacher most likely in a union and understands all the rules - and will keep detailed notes when confronted. Heads won’t do anything.

Parents voices are louder than TA - as much as you complain they don’t listen because listening involves doing something.