Unfair scholarship

[Pegaroo]

So, I’m using you as a place to vent…I think I might be being unreasonable but I see this as unfair.

my children are at an independent school. It’s not a school that will set the world alight but it has small classes and I feel me children are seen.

For a little context to afford school I have reduced the size of my house, changed cars, gone back to work and will be sacrificing holidays for quite some time. My choice and I do this willingly and I see the value…..this bit isn’t the issue.

i feel let down with the way way is chucking around scholarships and bursary’s to preferred families without there being any competitive process. this has been happening for a while and it hasn’t bothered me so much. But the latest story involves a family whose oldest child has attended the school for 1 year and whose father has been removed from the home.

it appears that this child and its sibling(not even started school yet) have been given school life scholarships…..such a huge some of money . In my mind there are 1000s of children in poor circumstances without even 1 parent who cares, why should these 2 children who have a home and when the youngest starts school the mum will return to a well paid job get such a hand out. I feel that this should have been a scholarship that any child in need should have had the chance to benefit from.

ultimately my fees ( and others) pay for this and I keenly feel that a disservice has been done.

i have no recourse to complaint as there is no external body that I know of who can do this.

feeling rage.

This is the itchy bit. They don’t publish a process and anyone else who have had support are only percentages.

i just feel my money is being mis spent…..I might be over invested!

How do you know about how and why they've got the scholarship/ bursary?

Having to actually work isn't exactly a huge hardship is it? That's what most of us to be able to arrive stuff. If you can afford the school just by working and giving up holidays why do you need the funding?

How is your money being mis spent?

You want your kids to go there. The price of going there is 'X' amount per year. That's the deal. You dont then fet to sat who they help and who they don't.

How can be it misspent, ensuring children from an abusive household, can have the same education as your kids?

You’re kinda missing the point though. You don’t know that your money is being spent. It could be a legacy, a trust, an endowment - monies set up for this purpose that have carried down the years.

If you got a scholarship because I of your hardship (not having holidays, needing to work etc) I can imagine others may think that their money isn't being spent that well. Where do you draw the line?

I feel that this should have been a scholarship that any child in need should have had the chance to benefit from.
And these children were in need, and benefited. It’s not a “those children, or yours” situation, really. How are you losing out? Your kids are still at this school, you’re getting what you paid for.

Look, your child is not in need of any bursary. They aren’t going to get a bursary.

You have chosen a private education over a big house or cars or your children having a stay at home mother.

Your children are having the education that you are handing over your for.

Like @PrincessRamone says, the money could be from a bursary from a very specific set of circumstances. Child whose father is sent down for tax fraud.

lots of private schools do dodgy deals out of sight

it always causes aggravation

the bottom line is, that school has “hold” of you and you are paying the fees each term. They have no incentive to reduce that for you, you are simply a cash cow.

in the case of the child whose father was removed, the lifetime scholarship seems kind of generous. I have a friend whose h was in court (repeatedly) for violent offences. Her dd was at private school and there was no suggestion that any help could be received. I am surprised the lifetime scholarship has not been kept quiet.

I suppose when you pay the fees you expect it to go towards your child and it sounds like you feel your money is being spent on another child without your consent.

there is another way of looking at it and that is you are paying for your child’s good education and you are getting that so just stay in your own lane. All the best.

Your money is being spent on your children’s education. You don’t like how the school awards bursaries then take your children out of the school.

As a head, I have a certain amount of leeway to limit disruption to a child’s education and life. Families go through difficulties and if we can help them ride that through until they come out the other side, then we should. No family is immune from life events.

You won’t have anything near the full picture on this situation and you don’t have a right to it either.

I had a situation where I received a formal complaint and an aggressive meeting that I had allowed a family attend school during lockdown when they were not keyworkers. The parent had received a diagnosis and was undergoing daily treatment at the hospital but that was nobody else’s business.

Meet with the head and ask for clarification on the awards process. If you think there is corruption in the award system, then use the complaints system to raise it with the head and board of the school.

Surely no one believes school fees are all spent directly in their own child?

Green is not your colour.

Have you enquired about scholarships for your own kids? I worked in one private school which gave out only six academic scholarships per year (worth 50% of the fees) and three music scholarships (which only paid for instrumental lessons). My current school, approx three quarters of the kids have some sort of scholarship (academic, music, sport, drama) most of which are only worth 5 or 10%. There are bursaries as well, which are completely different and quite hard to come by.

Haha, well straightforward to the point!

OP you agree to pay the amount they say for your child's education, how they spend that, as long as they deliver what you're expecting them to is up to them. It sounds like a compassionate and supportive school, perhaps view it that way instead of being jealous of a family going through trauma.

You can really buy your kids into the private education system, then complain about some children getting unfair advantages over others can you.

Argh for an edit button! You CAN'T

Sorry.

There are most likely circumstances involved that you know little about. The school might not share with you as it’ll be confidential information. I would be reassured that if similar circumstance (there but grace of god etc) the school would try to support your child in a similar way. It shows a compassionate leadership.

There is a difference between bursaries and scholarships.

Scholarships are based on merit and there would be a very open application process.

Bursaries are means tested financial assistance for children who meet the entrance criteria of a school but whose families would not be able to pay the fees to send them. You can't possibly know the financial circumstances of other families in order to say whether it is "fair" for them to get a bursary.

My DH works at a private school. Parents know and welcome the fact that a proportion of the fees they pay go into a bursary pot that supports other children in attending the school.

Scholarships are a different matter. The application process should be clear and anyone should be able to apply.

It’s good to know that if the school offered you the same deal you would turn it down on principle OP. Unselfish behaviour should not be its own reward, but often is, and it is refreshing to realise that some people are willing to maintain high standards of conduct and honesty for the greater good, even if they are never likely to have them put to the test.

Indeed, not much of the private education system is fair though is it? Maybe this is just the first time you've been on the receiving end of it OP?

I don’t think it’s that uncommon OP. Lots of people know how to play the private school system, or are just balls enough to ask for a discount or put pressure on for a scholarship. I have teacher friends in a local private school. They were telling me last week about the pressure being put on them by parents/friends who have children applying for scholarships that they will have a significant stake in deciding. On the flip side a teacher at DS’s school told me he should apply for a scholarship next year. We can comfortably afford the fees. I’ve considered asking if it could be an honorary scholarship ie he could put it on his university application form/CV in due course and the money used for someone more in need. but the reality is 1) we don’t know if our financial situation could change (unlikely) and 2) it will probably just get passed to someone who can equally afford the fees who has no qualms over the fairness of it.

Many private schools do have discretionary hardship funds which provide for families undergoing significant changes in circumstances.
There are others that would not be in a position to help out such families.
Personally I would prefer the ethos of this type of school to one where pupils' were required to leave as soon as a change in circumstances occurred.

Numerous small private schools are like this, they need bums on seats to look healthy and attract more parents.
Scholarships and bursaries can get very blurred.
I treasure the memory of the parent who told me she needed a bursary or they would have to sell the horses.
The point often missed is the state schools are frequently better than these small indies.

That was my first thought also, that the school has been gifted money to help pupils in need.