Telling not to cry

[purpleme12]

My child was upset going into school today crying
Managed to speak to teacher
I'm pretty disgusted by her reaction to it to be honest but there were go
Anyway one of the things she said was you shouldn't be crying about this stop crying
This seems really wrong to me
I don't think they should be told they shouldn't be crying
What do you think??

Sorry that was in response to @busyeatingbiscuits

I'm sure the teacher and head teacher will work with you and your daughter to sort out what is going on and help her to feel happy going into school.

Before school is an awful time. It is impossible to have quiet conversations with children and parents when there are 30 other children getting settled for the day and who also need reassurance etc.

If a child arrives crying in my classroom I offer a hug and a smile and then speak to them properly at breaktime or during a very rare lull during the morning. I encourage the parents to email and let me know what has led to the upset or tell them I will ring after school to talk properly.

On the occasions I have a member of support staff, they will reassure and have a quiet chat with the child before rushing off to do interventions, lead phonics groups or support another child.

I would send an email to the class teacher explaining fully.

Trying to get your child calm and into svhool may involve telling them to stop crying. It is difficult to understand someone who is crying. I sometimes tell kids to dry their eyes and take some deep breaths and try and stop crying so we can talk about the problem and resolve it.

At my school the head would back you up (as would I) as we support the children's mental health needs / emotional issues. Basically teacher should empathise, name the emotion and discuss solutions with the child. But schools vary a lot and some teachers can get exasperated with having to deal with this type of thing - we have at least one at our school like that, but they know it's not the ethos so would likely make more effort.

A child crying can be comforted or distracted, of course, but that's very different to being told to stop crying. Issue should not be brushed aside.

I hope the issue with the other child got sorted yesterday OP, and you had a better day trying to get DD in this morning.

You did the right thing in talking to the head. Hopefully you DD's confidence will improve over half term and she'll be able to start fresh when they go back.