Daughters school place

[RedCandyApple]

Don’t know if this is the right place but dd is in year 6 and has asd, she’s 10, has an ehcp, 1:1 all day at school (never left alone) she has severe behavioural problems (is aggressive to several members of staff) I was told at her last annual review that mainstream secondary will be fine for her. Despite me disagreeing, she has not one single friend in her school as she is mentally far too behind her peers. She lies on the floor screaming has regular melt downs, spends most of her time at her work station instead of her class room but despite all this all the professionals involved said mainstream. I decided myself to apply for sen schools and go against their suggestion of mainstream but low and behold today get a letter that she’s been accepted into the mainstream school next to our house?! She can’t go to mainstream, I won’t be sending her there. What next? I guess I have no choice but to home Ed which was my plan if she didn’t get into an sen school. I’m just so annoyed the school wouldn’t support me in this, I knew I didn’t stand a chance getting her into an sen school with no support from the professionals involved.

Sadly it is notoriously difficult to get into a special school and your descriptions do not necessarily qualify her. I would meet with the school she has been offered a place at first to see how they will support her etc. before deciding on home education.

No she’s not going to mainstream at all I don’t even consider that an option, she is got the mental age of a 4/5 year old. I’m not putting her through that.

We were having a similar conversation in our staff meeting about a year two child in our school. He's not in the right place but at the same time a mainstream school is the only option really.

The special schools are full of children with far, far more needs. Children who possibly wouldn't have lived twenty of thirty years ago, horrible though that it to think never mind say.

His needs are more compatible, comparable and similar to the dc in his current situation than they are to those children who are not in mainstream school.

Yeh I do understand that but I was told by sendiass to apply for schools for children with MLD not SLD which is what I did. Mainstream is not an option so I guess it’s home Ed for me.

Does your neighbouring authority have anything suitable?

That’s where I applied to as the 2 (and only) sen schools in my borough are SLD. I applied to the next borough for 2 sen schools but those are the ones we weren’t accepted for and instead a Mainstream school in my borough.

this will be hard, but I'd strongly recommend sending her to the mainstream school and making a fuss every step of the way. make the school provide one-to-one care for her, and specialised lessons etc. Make them request a transfer to a special school. make them do the work.

if you home ed now, the local authority will be delighted not to have to pay for extra support, but in a few years you'll find that you may struggle and there will be very little help available because you'll be out of the system.

if you possibly can, stay inside the system & fight for the schools to provide whatever your DD needs to be safe & happy.

Sorry but can people stop telling me to just send her, I won’t be sending her for her mental health. She is severely behind mentally than her age, she is on average the mental age of a 4/5 year old. She has no social awareness, limited speech (you can’t have a conversation with her she can answer questions but you can’t have a meaningful conversation with her) she wouldn’t be able to tell me if she was being bullied. She lies on the floor screaming I can’t even get her out the door most mornings to school as she runs off and has no danger awareness (runs into roads) she has no friends at the school she is in now and has recently became obsessed with finding friends and asks to knock on people’s doors to “make friends” she licks bins, she licks the floor. I’m not sending her I don’t mind it they will be delighted my daughters mental health is more important to me.

You can fight all you want but the school she is in atm she is not coping with despite having a 1:1 all day, she is violent and aggressive, she attacks teachers, she has to be picked up at 3 because she hit a toddler when collecting my younger daughter from reception (her 1:1 met me at the reception) so now she is picked up early at 3 after hitting a toddler. She escaped the school the other day and ran off down the road.

You need a solicitor who specializes in education and access.

I wish you luck.

Have you spoken to the senco at the allocated school to see if they agreed they can meet her needs? For transition children, plans/schools have to be finished soon, but you don't need to accept - you need to appeal, helpful if named school doesn't think they can meet need, but are being forced. You can apply for non local Authority schools as well and also find why the others said no. As said above, the absolute thing you don't do is home ed. If she refuses to go, that is different, but it means school/la should look to adjust. Get legal advice as well

Mainstream isn’t an option at all it just isn’t, can I ask why people are so against home educating? It will be better for her than mainstream she will not cope. She is not coping at her primary at the moment and often refuses to go.

Appeal. The majority of appeals are upheld.

Don’t EHE, if you do the LA will not provide any support/SEN provision as they will say you are making suitable alternative arrangements therefore they are relieved of their duties. If you are struggling now, EHE is unlikely to solve matters.

The reason I recommend against home Ed is I know another family in the exact same position. They did home Ed for 2years and it almost broke them in terms of time and emotional energy. In that time, their child went backwards and refused all other carers and hit at siblings.

When they tried to get their child back in school there was still no place and no support and they had a long hard battle to get anything.

Are you certain there isn't specialist SEN provision in the mainstream school?

Both of the local secondaries (one state, one independent) have dedicated SEN provision inside the mainstream school, literally segregated classrooms and outside area. The children are not remotely independent, they have to be handed to the SEN staff and picked up from the SEN staff and for the most part there's little regular integration with the mainstream pupils. What integration there is happens under carefully moderated circumstances. It seems to be a halfway step between ordinary schooling and the specialist units that only take children with additional needs.

This might be worth exploring before rejecting the space.

I'm sorry you've had such little support, but please do exhaust all possibilities before taking on 100% responsibility for your daughter's schooling alongside her wellbeing. You matter in this too, you can't help her if your breaking yourself protecting her.

I’m not sending her regardless of any specialist provision. I’m only interested in an sen school. I will look at appealing.

Who was in her last EHCP review? Was it just her existing school's staff or were the LA in attendance? Have you spoken to SENDIAS at your LA? Presumably you were trying to get an SEN school as your named school?
Can you make an appointment with the SENCO at the allocated school and see how they propose to support your dd? It will be interesting to see what they've been told about her if they think they can meet her needs.

Her last annual review included someone from autism out reach, and the Ed psychologist, they all recommended mainstream. They said it was because she’s not behind enough academically.

That's really odd. Her current school aren't meeting her needs by the sound of it if she's attacking people and running off. Emergency EHCP review?

DC don’t have to be academically behind to attend a SS, so not being behind enough is rubbish.

IPSEA and SOSSEN are helpful when appealing. Will you qualify for Legal Aid? If you can’t afford independent reports and aren’t eligible for legal aid contact Parents in Need who can sometimes help. Be careful with SENDIASS, some are good, but too many repeat the LA’s unlawful policies.

You should appeal B&F too because they will be written to support a MS placement. Don’t bother with mediation, just get the certificate and submit a BFI appeal to SENDIST. LAs often use mediation as a delaying tactic but if they are going to concede they will do so whether you just get the certificate of actively partake in mediation.

Where does her present school place her academically? If she has limited language and understanding then I doubt she is achieving age appropriate levels in any area. What did they say when you challenged their opinion on her academic levels?

Don’t bother asking for an early review, you already have the right of appeal, just appeal.

School play all the incidents down, when I contacted them about what happened with the toddler she also attacked a teacher that day, a toddler dropped a piece of paper whilst I was queuing to get my other child from her reception class my daughter saw this and screamed “why did you do that” and hit the child, it was like she just saw red, she then ran off up the playground, got to the gate and a teacher was stood by the gate who tried to stop her leaving the school, when this happened my daughter took her bag off and began hitting the teacher with the bag. I ran after her and stopped her leaving my other child outside her class on her own as I had no choice, I posted about it on here at the time as it was so awful I was so embarrassed and felt I couldn’t face those parents again after it happened out of fear of judgement. I apologised to the woman with the toddler but the whole thing was awful. I called the school to discuss it as no members of staff offered to get me any help or even asked if I was ok I got half way up the road with my children and burst into tears. I called the school the next day to discuss the incident only to be told no one had ever passed any message on about it happening even the teacher who my daughter hit. The senco had idea it happened, which seemed odd. It was from that point I now pick my daughter up at 3 so she doesn’t have to deal with the crowds at pick up. The senco has referred my daughter for adhd assessment as well.

Can you afford private provision? It may be your only alternative.

The problem with home schooling is that it may compromise your ability to care for her because of the level of exhaustion and strain involved

Have you actually visited the allocated school with your DD? Children can seem very different on paper to how they do in the actual flesh.

If you visit with your DD the school may see that she's not going to cope at the school.

Where is she academically? My DD attends a MLD special school. She's working at about year 1/year 2 in year 11.