Summer born dilemma

[Piglet89]

Hello all

Our son was born towards the end of August 2019 and we are considering independent prep schools for him. Because he's summer born and would be young for the year, we would like to defer his entry so he starts reception in September after he turns 5.

Our first choice school facilitates such a deferral. We have paid the registration fee and his name is on the list to be assessed for a place in autumn 2023. Were he successful, he would start in September 2024.

We are reluctant to put all our eggs in our first choice basket. However, two other prep schools local to us, which we are also considering, do not allow such deferral, meaning that he would be assessed in October 2022 (when he is just 3 and 3 months). If he were successful, he would start in September 2023. But, if we accepted either of those places, that means he would already at school at the time he would be assessed for our first choice school!

What do people in this situation do? We want him to have a shot at the first choice school, but there is no guarantee he will get in there. We don't want to be in a position where he doesn't get a place anywhere!

Sorry this is long - any advice gratefully received.

You can try to talk to your 1st choice school and see if they’ll assess him a year earlier and give you a deferred acceptance.
Other than that - I’d see if there are other schools that you could consider.

What's you're thinking about why you want to defer him ? I got permission for a local authority school for this and in the even I sent my summer born son when he was due to go. He has done well, he isn't the top of the class, but he isn't the bottom. I have worked hard with him to ensure he does ok but I cannot push too much due to the tiredness. He gets very very tired, so hasn't been able to pick up as many extra circular activities as some.

You need to check if the prep schools and secondary school accept children in out of age year groups.
I really wanted to defer DS and the primary school would have agreed but by secondary all children have to be in the correct age group is county policy (there’s a get out clause in the gov document about deferred entry).
Anyway he started school in September it’s very much learning through play and academically despite being the youngest he’s no where near the bottom. It is exceptionally well run learning through play and his reading is good so it seems to have worked out ok.

Thank you for reading my essay all and for responding.

We plan to move to Scotland for his secondary education, @Mayblossominapril - so don’t know whether that will be an issue, really.

@chunkyBUTTsdonotlie I don’t particularly want to have to do a great deal with him myself to push him when we are paying school fees for professionals to do that.

@Piglet89: would it be possible to go for assessment with your first choice school in October 2022 and if accepted defer the place till September 2024?

@Lily7050 yes I think I might have to do that…although I was a bit concerned about his being assessed when he’s only 3 and 3 months, but maybe that’s not something to worry so much about and it would give us more certainty.

My DS is summer 2019 as well, not August though so cannot qualify for deferred start. I am also worried that he will be assessed alongside with children who are 9-10 months older then him. I hope assessors take into account the age of the child and the fact at this age 9-10 months can be a big difference in development.

@Lily7050 in the two schools we have considered that won’t offer deferred entry, they stressed that they do take that into account.

My DS was born on 30 August. We knew we would be moving away from the UK to a country with different age cutoffs so we strongly considered deferring but ultimately decided to send him on time. We were concerned as DS never went to full day nursery. He was 3.5 by the time he dropped his nap and was out of nappies. But he is on the tall side and his nursery teachers told us he was on track with the other kids. Also the school we liked best would not defer him.

He started reception a week after turning 4. It quickly became clear that he is academically advanced and needed extra challenge so I cant imagine if we had held him back. Most of his closest mates have birthdays in late spring and summer so it wasn’t a huge age difference really. He is now in year 7 at a very highly regarded private secondary and does very well academically. He holds his own at sports and socially as well. I have no regrets.

Thanks @Meowwwwwww this is a great example of “It depends on the child, not the age”.

I have no idea really what our son will be like academically; I find it very hard to judge. He obviously has an excellent memory and he enjoys our reading to him. He can identify colours and can count to ten by reciting the numbers (but not actually count objects consistently, if that makes sense.)

We are both reasonably clever, so might bode well, I suppose - but I just have no idea. He is, however, very, very sociable.

Oh and he is super SUPER energetic and was a bolter and a climber and an early escapee from the playground. I used to have to spend all my time bringing him back when he would open the gate and just skip on out at like 18 months. Did my head in.

I know this is a few days old but just wanted to say your son sounds a lot like mine at that age. He’s clever but definitely not one of those genius kids who is dramatically advanced from birth. At primary he was probably in the top 10% of his year group. There is of course a difference statistically between an average child who just turned 4 and one who is nearly 5 but the age range is a continuum and population-wide statistical averages are not necessarily reflected in a particular cohort at a particular school. The thing about private school (or at least ours anyway) is that they make a point to admit a range of ages across the year so there were plenty of spring and summer born children, and honestly in both of my children’s year groups the top of the cohort academically were not necessarily the oldest ones.

Although he is bright my DS isn’t the best at focusing and his fine motor skills. That could be a reflection of his age but as it happens my other son was born in February and he has similar struggles. Both of them really need to be pushed to work hard and it would not be good for them to ne a year behind. The line has to be somewhere and if your child is on track with all of his milestones so far I would be very wary of holding him back.

I would speak to your preferred prep and explain the situation to them OP.

I am sending my own DS at CSA into a delayed reception start and have agreement from our local prep with an offer of a place in 2023. He was assessed in the autumn initially for a September 2022 start but I then emailed them and asked if it would be possible for him to start the following year and they said yes. They said he would be invited to come back to the assessment again with the other boys but he is definitely already offered and they would be very happy to have him.

So it might be that they are happy to be flexible and assess him early but with a view to delayed entry. If not it doesn’t hurt to ask the question!

Also, does the preferred prep have a nursery? Ours does so we are thinking DS would start there the year before and then seamlessly transition to reception.

That’s unless we send him to the state primary school which has also agreed the delayed reception start.

Oh and I have checked the secondary situation and in our county he would be kept in his adopted cohort the whole way through.

Oh and I highly recommend joining the Facebook group Flexible School Admissions for Summer Borns.

They are a goldmine of helpful info!

Finally - my son sounds very similar to yours. Bright, energetic and hitting milestones etc but the evidence for advantages as a result being older in the year is pretty conclusive. I doubted myself a lot but kept thinking, if he were born 1st September I wouldn’t be thinking “shall I send him to school a year early?”.

If you’re moving to Scotland for secondary there shouldn’t be a problem with being ‘out’ of year as under the Scottish system he would have just turned five/or be turning five before starting school. Cut-off is four before the end of February with a lot of Jan/Feb burns deferred to the following year and increasingly Nov/Dec born.

Lots of really helpful advice here, thank you all.

A particular difficulty we have is we would rather the be assessed for all our chosen schools at roughly the same time, a year later (ie autumn 2023 for entry September 2024) but two don’t even do delayed entry. So the solution would involve asking the preferred prep whether he could be assessed in autumn 2022 and defer entry until September 2024 - but he’d still be assessed a year early. I think they do take into account the fact some in the assessment group are young, though.

my grandson's prep is a three form entry by age, so he is in a group with similar aged children (although born mid august would be nearly the youngest).
maybe you can ask the prep if they do this as well.

Have you seen anything relative to other children that makes you want to defer? We purposely aimed for a summer born (as both parents are).

The only choice we made taking into account this was going for 8+ over 7+. After 7 the main difference is height (which we both experienced as children). DC is very strong in sport and academically relative to entire year not just summer cohort. DC was never really behind since starting school.

@elij I haven’t got much of a frame of reference against other kids; he’s in nursery all day and is an only child. His key workers say he picks stuff up quickly - but he does seem a bit smaller than the others physically. Could be my perception though, as he’s very slim.

@Piglet89 the smaller frame thing can't be avoided -- I personally went from always being the shortest in my year to tallest around 11 years old.

In nursery we kept an eye on things like tripod grip, phonics, counting, proper cycling, use of lego, general knowledge etc. to see where DC was relative to winter born children.

Keeping track of this gives an idea if they need to be held back or if work can be don at home to catch up. Our DC is also an only child.

Helpful thank you. at what age did you start keeping track of this stuff? They definitely haven’t started phonics yet; they’ll do that when he moves up to next room I imagine.

There is a child in my sons class who technically should be in the year above (and in secondary school since my child is in year 6). He isn’t allowed to represent the school in competitive sports fixtures as he’s too old, which is a shame.

Unless you have concerns about him coping, I’d send him. There will be a range of abilities and paces of development and age will just be one factor in that. All assessments should be age moderated (they are at our prep anyway)

I don’t particularly want to have to do a great deal with him myself to push him when we are paying school fees for professionals to do that

That’s not really how it works though you could outsource your role at home to a tutor.