Summer born dilemma

[Piglet89]

Hello all

Our son was born towards the end of August 2019 and we are considering independent prep schools for him. Because he's summer born and would be young for the year, we would like to defer his entry so he starts reception in September after he turns 5.

Our first choice school facilitates such a deferral. We have paid the registration fee and his name is on the list to be assessed for a place in autumn 2023. Were he successful, he would start in September 2024.

We are reluctant to put all our eggs in our first choice basket. However, two other prep schools local to us, which we are also considering, do not allow such deferral, meaning that he would be assessed in October 2022 (when he is just 3 and 3 months). If he were successful, he would start in September 2023. But, if we accepted either of those places, that means he would already at school at the time he would be assessed for our first choice school!

What do people in this situation do? We want him to have a shot at the first choice school, but there is no guarantee he will get in there. We don't want to be in a position where he doesn't get a place anywhere!

Sorry this is long - any advice gratefully received.

@Piglet89 I have a son whose born on 29th Aug (was born a few weeks early) and he has always been the youngest in the year ( Independent academic selective schools) and he has always come top of the year both academically and on the sport fields and is now doing GCSEs at one of the top independent schools in the country. Being the youngest has never held him back, more so it has motivated him to achieve more. He only struggled with tiredness really in the 1st month of reception ( which from experience most children in reception do regardless of age ) when he started going full time school a few days after he turned 4. Soon got used to it and his personality has always been to be competitive and be the best and he has totally excelled himself so I definitely know that my son would have been bored if we had placed him in the year below. The only other noticeable difference I noted was he was physically a lot smaller than most of his year and not as socially confident but teachers were brilliant at school and we supported him at home and he soon came out of his shell. By senior school he was one of the tallest in the year and in the A team for Rugby!
Can your son not start in the correct year group and if he really does struggle move him down a year as you may be pleasantly surprised and he may excel being the youngest.

@PiffleWiffleWoozle

That’s not really how it works though you could outsource your role at home to a tutor.

I simply don’t agree with this (re my comment about already paying school fees at an outstanding independent prep school in London, if he is fortunate enough to get a place). He is 2 and a half; seems ridiculous to be worrying about tutors now. What do others think about this?

@mumofthree22 thanks for your input. My son sounds quite different from yours. I don’t think he’s particularly competitive but I can tell now he’s extremely sociable.

[quote Piglet89]@PiffleWiffleWoozle

That’s not really how it works though you could outsource your role at home to a tutor.

I simply don’t agree with this (re my comment about already paying school fees at an outstanding independent prep school in London, if he is fortunate enough to get a place). He is 2 and a half; seems ridiculous to be worrying about tutors now. What do others think about this?

@mumofthree22 thanks for your input. My son sounds quite different from yours. I don’t think he’s particularly competitive but I can tell now he’s extremely sociable.[/quote]
Tutoring: I think I understand where you're coming from and partially see your point of view. The structure of independent education (selective and frequent assessments) does require parental engagement. The way I like to explain it is, this can be hands on (no external tutors, no extra money) or outsourced but there is a need to support school work in the home. A child taking home a reading book or some homework and being left to do it alone might not be effective over the long run.

Competitive: I don't know if you're summer born but there's a huge amount of pride in understanding this disadvantage early on and overcoming it. It doesn't always mean it's a toxic type of competitivity, it just stops a type of complacency. By senior school this advantage is largely mitigated but the mindset persists.

Being social is the best advantage a child can have in my opinion either way.

I grew up in Northern Ireland: the school year cut off is 30 June. I am a mid-May birth, so on the youngish side for the year but I was very strong academically. One parent a primary school teacher, so was supported academically during primary years (see comments re tutoring - my mum probably did that for me, to make sure I passed the 11 plus) but I was pretty much left to own devices at secondary. But I think I was quite a different childhood personality from my son: more studious, less physically active and less outgoing!

Summer-born concerns don’t seem to be so much of a worry in NI (or weren’t when I was growing up). The education system is quite different there from England.

@Piglet89

I grew up in Northern Ireland: the school year cut off is 30 June. I am a mid-May birth, so on the youngish side for the year but I was very strong academically. One parent a primary school teacher, so was supported academically during primary years (see comments re tutoring - my mum probably did that for me, to make sure I passed the 11 plus) but I was pretty much left to own devices at secondary. But I think I was quite a different childhood personality from my son: more studious, less physically active and less outgoing!

Summer-born concerns don’t seem to be so much of a worry in NI (or weren’t when I was growing up). The education system is quite different there from England.

Growing up with a teacher in the home like you 100% doesn't need a tutoring -- I have a background lecturing and we didn't need tutors.

The focus on this advantage in early years is modern hyper competitive mindset within the independent sector. The same one that drives parents to aim for children to be born in the winter or register their children at a school the day they're born.

We made a conscious decision to ignore it -- summer born, no tutors etc. against the grain and in the end we're happy with progress and have got into all the schools we wanted.

Thanks @elij - If he is to be assessed in autumn 2022 for potential entry September 2023, I do think it’s time for me to think about assessment content and how we can help him perform to best if his ability at those assessments.

He’s not yet speaking in full sentences, so feels a bit scary to let him get assessed in 10 months’ time (tho I know a lot can happen in those 10 months!)

Maybe I just ship my mum over 😂

For a different perspective, my DSis is a secondary teacher who lives in a wonderful school district (LEA) in America. Her youngest has a birthday near to that of your DS, is also very sociable, and is the brightest member of our family in that generation.

DSis held DN back, to give them a longer chance to be a child. Unlike their siblings DN became something of a leader and sportsperson. They are now thriving at one of the top universities in the country.

DSis attributes some of this, particularly the leadership tendencies, to the fact that DN was a bit older starting school.

I have a September born and a july born. Dd2 (july) is in year 2 and dd1 (sep) year 5. Both are in top 10 % of their year's And I haven't noticed any difference really academically between the two, and where they have been at different stages so far. Honestly, I think it depends on the child. We considered holding dd2 back and joined the Facebook group mentioned prev. Ultimately, we felt she was ready tho and went with our instinct. Never regretted it for a second