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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

4+ rejection

58 replies

ducatimum · 01/02/2022 14:07

Hi mums. sorry just wanted to vent.
Got a no from NLCS 4+ yesterday and now I'm super super deflated.
I didn't realise it would hit me this hard.

Honestly I think I have massively underestimate this whole 4+ process... I didn't prep her near enough, no tutoring, just reading and puzzles. I naively thought that, at 4, if she gets in she gets in!

Then yesterday we got the email. My immediate reaction was 'oh ok fine' and just carried on with work. Then came the evening I couldn't stop thinking about it. Thinking that I had failed my DD , that I should have prepared her, or even got her a coach. Should have taken it more seriously!! I've been so lucky throughout my life that I have never had a school / uni/ job rejection. I honestly did not prepare myself for that.

Ofc I tried not to show it in front of DD, we have not talked about it yet.
Now I'm just feeling so depressed and so deflated I hope DD has not noticed!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

massiveblob · 02/02/2022 23:40

She is 4. Leave her to be a 4 year old barely out of nappies. State schools are generally great

massiveblob · 02/02/2022 23:41

@ducatimum

And just now speaking to a friend whose DD got into STAHS, she said 'well at least you get the wake up call now and not later!' LOL

Only if you think tutoring a 4 year old is acceptable

habsboys2020 · 03/02/2022 09:11

Just out of curiosity which school is STAHS? South Hampstead?

Trolleedollee · 03/02/2022 09:31

I think you dodged a bullet. I can't think of anywhere I would like much less than a child at NLCS. I know too many girls there higher up the school with serious mental health problems and lack of confidence from the ultra competitive nature of the children and families there.

Hoppinggreen · 03/02/2022 09:35

Bloody Hell, selection at 4?
I don’t blame you for trying OP but the whole concept is awful.
If it makes you feel better read the thread from the poor lady with a Y6 DD who has been told her DD can’t move into Y7 as she’s not academic enough and is trying to find a new school. It would have been better for her (and possibly your) DD to go elsewhere and be able to stay long term than get turfed out later.

Sunshinedrops85 · 03/02/2022 09:55

@habsboys2020

Just out of curiosity which school is STAHS? South Hampstead?

St Albans.

South hampstead always gets abbreviated to SHHS.

Sunshinedrops85 · 03/02/2022 19:02

Also not minimizing the hard work the girls put into studying for their exams, but by already selecting the highest scoring pupils, combined with parents that can afford to spend hours tutoring or paying someone else to help those daughters as well will also help generate those good results too.

pkim123 · 28/03/2022 20:45

@ducatimum

Hi mums. sorry just wanted to vent. Got a no from NLCS 4+ yesterday and now I'm super super deflated. I didn't realise it would hit me this hard.

Ofc I tried not to show it in front of DD, we have not talked about it yet.
Now I'm just feeling so depressed and so deflated I hope DD has not noticed!

I'm so sorry for you. It can happen. As mums, we are very upset when someone rejects our child. It's not a nice feeling. NLCS is a brilliant school, but the good news is that you can learn from this experience. When the 11+ comes around you will be ready to help prepared your DD.

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