@LondonGirl83
There are girls as talented as those at SPGS in most academic schools.
My friend would absolutely agree with that. When his DD at PHS didn't get the SPGS interview, the feedback he got was that it was her English that let her down, not math or comprehension. As she'd only been in the UK for a couple of years at that time, that doesn't say much about her academic ability.
Once your [sic] in a very good school, achievement is down largely to ability, effort and parental support.
He would also agree with that. He thinks that his DD at PHS has as much academic ability as his DD at SPGS and is working with her so that she achieves as much at math and physics (he has a PhD in Physics). But the point is that he has to spend resources and his DD has to spend extra time to achieve the same results, resources and time which they could be using on other things.
Various posters have suggested a selective school like Putney is an academically limiting choice
I don't believe that I was one of them. However, I do suggest that the extra time and effort an able child needs to spend to reach the same academic achievement may require sacrifices in other areas.
The preoccupation with certain schools is in no small part down to chasing prestige which is fine if it’s also the right fit for your child holistically. But it’s worth recognising it for what it is.
It's also worth recognizing that, beyond the bragging rights, the more academic school can be the better choice for a child with the right ability and interest. And it's sour grapes to deny that just because many such children don't get places.