Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Abusive ex governor at DS’s school

56 replies

GovenorHeadache · 19/10/2021 03:51

STBXH has been a governor at DS’s school for about 4 years. Under lockdown our relationship got very bad, things were thrown, including a knife in front of DS, and weapons were threatened in an argument. This was reported to the police, but I don’t believe he was charged with anything.

We had SS support, which school were obviously involved with. I don’t know if they know about the police though, and the headteacher did not come to any of the meetings.

I thought he was standing down as a governor, so didn’t rock the boat there. I have just realised that he didn’t, and am not comfortable with DS being in a school where STBXH has that influence.

Do I highlight the police report to school? Or will this just damage my relationship with school? I can’t work out if this would be revealed under a recheck of his DBS.

OP posts:

Elbie79 · 19/10/2021 05:13

Worth getting in touch with the police again to ask the outcome? Really poor they haven't updated you including reasons for how they chose to pursue it. Once you have it confirmed what happened, perhaps no further action, but perhaps something that didn't involve criminal court like a caution, you can research what DBS would show.

The school are in a tricky position, and would usually not want to get in the middle of a parental separation, but surely they can't be seen to accommodate an abuser.

DifficultBloodyWoman · 19/10/2021 05:38

Hmmm. I don’t think the school can influence who is on the board (although I might be wrong).

However, the board itself can exert pressure. If you were to flag it up to anyone, I would suggest the the Chair of the board of governors.

You may also wish to follow up with the police regarding any outcomes that might now be reportable on a DBS. Again, I don’t know if the governors actually need to have a DBS but not being able to get one would serious damage credibility when you are supposed to be providing guidance to an institution (school) where staff absolutely must have them.

madisonbridges · 19/10/2021 05:57

What influence do governors exert inside the school?

rrhuth · 19/10/2021 06:05

Clearly someone with a track record of committing domestic abuse is not a suitable person for a governing body. Whether they need a criminal record before school will reconsider I don't know.

It would also be better for your son to have school as a neutral safe space.

I think you can raise concerns with the police and school. There is also often a governors support person at the local authority, they may help - I know someone who raised a different concern via that route which helped get it resolved.

SeasonFinale · 19/10/2021 06:13

"things were thrown and weapons were threatened in an argument". This does it sound as though it would even be enough for a caution.

Whilst the ex may have been emotionally abusive without any prosecution or caution it would merely be looked at as arguments between people going through a break up. Indeed any attempt by OP to attempt to remove ex as a governor may look like a spiteful ex looking for revenge.

Governors set policy and decide strategy for the school so I am unsure what damage OP believes the ex can cause the school/her son.

Original poster

GovenorHeadache · 19/10/2021 06:48

Speaking to the police for an update might help, thank you. I don’t know if they might know what goes into the DBS checks too.

The reason I’m concerned is that school didn’t (as agreed previously - class teacher has been present at SS meetings where this was discussed) tell me when STBXH took DS without a supervising adult present. That instruction came from the head, whose performance reviews STBXH is part of. Plus he spends time being visible in the school at assembleys etc.

I’m still worried about being seen as a spiteful ex. I’m just worried about whether school remains a neutral safe space for DS, rather than a place where daddy is one of the people who runs it.

OP posts:

Original poster

GovenorHeadache · 19/10/2021 06:53

The neutral space for DS particularly worries me because of him witnessing objects thrown etc. And that he doesn’t have a neutral space where it would be safe to say if that is happening at stbxh‘s new house.

OP posts:

mothermothermother · 19/10/2021 06:57

Crumbs that’s hard OP. No advice but

madisonbridges · 19/10/2021 07:03

If it gives you some comfort, governor, the reporting procedures for safeguarding are constantly reinforced during staff training (trust me, this is done a lot!!) and there is strict guidance in place. No member of staff has any doubt of who to go to with a reporting issue. So even if the HT was involved in that, they would find it very difficult to diverge from the laid down rules that the school specifies.
Of course, you will always worry with the background you've stated, but he really should be ok.

Original poster

GovenorHeadache · 19/10/2021 07:07

If he did speak to someone, I think it would be ok. But he’s a junior-aged child who sees daddy sit with the teachers at assemblys, so clearly he is part of the school. I think that would make it very difficult for him to talk!

OP posts:

Lougle · 19/10/2021 07:24

Unfortunately, he would need to be sentenced to three months or more without the option of a fine to be disqualified from being a Governor. There isn't a huge list of disqualifications and being a less than pleasant person isn't one of them.

Is he a parent Governor? Did they seek re-election if his initial term expired? After 4 years, they should have offered his post up for applications, then asked for parents to vote by ballot if there were 2 or more submissions.

madisonbridges · 19/10/2021 07:24

Teachers are very good at listening even when they're not being spoken to! But obviously your son is precious and you'll worry.

bookgirl1982 · 19/10/2021 07:32

In terms of what you could do it is important to know what type of school is is and what category of governor he is.

JustGiveMeTwoMinutes · 19/10/2021 07:51

Can you talk to social services about it, this sounds very intimidating

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 19/10/2021 08:02

This is true, but if they are desperate for governor, the board can vote to co opt him. I would be concerned that a board would want someone who behave like that though and think you should raise with school in the first instance; then the chair of governor. Work through the complaints policy to the letter otherwise you can’t escalate things.

rrhuth · 19/10/2021 08:12

I’m still worried about being seen as a spiteful ex. This is hard but you have to get that worry and throw it in the bin.

You are not being spiteful. Wanting a neutral space is understandable and about putting the child first.

I understand the concern. Some stupid twats people always assume it is 'spite' but they are not worth bothering about. You know what is true.

NavigatingAdolescence · 19/10/2021 08:14

I’m a parent governor. My “influence” is extremely limited. I also don’t have to be DBS checked to do it.

rrhuth · 19/10/2021 08:17

@NavigatingAdolescence

I’m a parent governor. My “influence” is extremely limited. I also don’t have to be DBS checked to do it.

You haven't been DBS checked? That's pretty weird tbh. I would be raising that as a concern if I was a governor.

DBS checks are limited in their usefulness but as a school I would not want the PR risk of having someone with a problematic criminal history on my governing body, leaving aside safeguarding issues.

GrimDamnFanjo · 19/10/2021 08:20

As a governor I had to have a DBS check and also do fairly regular safeguarding training.

NavigatingAdolescence · 19/10/2021 08:22

You’re only allowed to DBS people in certain circumstances and can’t “over check”. I don’t undertake any activities that DBS would consider “regulated”.

NavigatingAdolescence · 19/10/2021 08:26

@GrimDamnFanjo

As a governor I had to have a DBS check and also do fairly regular safeguarding training.

Not required in Wales.

www.estyn.gov.wales/document-page/20482/contents/annexes/annex-1-disclosure-and-barring-service-dbs-checks-repeat-checks-and-portability

NavigatingAdolescence · 19/10/2021 08:26

May be different elsewhere.

CovoidOfAllHumanity · 19/10/2021 08:27

I have a DBS check as a school governor and it was renewed when my term of office was renewed but not in between so he probably won't have a fresh check for anything to come up on.

You should write to the chair of governors and state in as neutral terms as possible that you wish to make a complaint about a governor. Look up the school complaints policy and it should say how to complain about a governor. The chair will have to investigate any formal complaint.

I think that even if the person isn't legally disbarred as chair I would have been asking them to 'consider their position' under the circumstances.

The head hasn't got much of anything to do with governor appointments so don't try to involve them. Write to the chair.

rrhuth · 19/10/2021 08:29

When I was a governor I had contact with kids, as in I was in school and spoke to them.

I think you can't be a good governor if not in school at all.

MyCatIsCalledSam · 19/10/2021 08:33

@NavigatingAdolescence

You’re only allowed to DBS people in certain circumstances and can’t “over check”. I don’t undertake any activities that DBS would consider “regulated”.

In England, you absolutely do need an enhanced dbs certificate as a governor and it must be in process within 21 days of appointment or this is a disqualification criteria.

OP perhaps speak with chair of governors. Although his actions may not be a disqualification criteria, governors are required to follow a code of conduct.

Flip

1 2 3