Page 2 | Abusive ex governor at DS’s school

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 19/10/2021 08:33

@NavigatingAdolescence

I’m a parent governor. My “influence” is extremely limited. I also don’t have to be DBS checked to do it.

I think you’ll find that in England you do need a DBS and if you haven’t then your school will immediately be downgraded in any OFSTED visit once they check the School Central Record and find that governors are not checked. It’s the corner stone of safeguarding!

rrhuth · 19/10/2021 08:35

I wonder if perhaps you could ask not that your DH is not a governor, but that your child needs not to see your DH in school due to the trauma of witnessing the incidents? And outline them in detail.

You need at least to get it on record, and you can say this was all reported to the police.

Make it about the child, not your DH.

Newnamemsz · 19/10/2021 08:39

Unless he has been barred from working with children he can remain a governor.

Missmissmiiiiiiiiisss · 19/10/2021 08:50

@GovenorHeadache

STBXH has been a governor at DS’s school for about 4 years. Under lockdown our relationship got very bad, things were thrown, including a knife in front of DS, and weapons were threatened in an argument. This was reported to the police, but I don’t believe he was charged with anything.

We had SS support, which school were obviously involved with. I don’t know if they know about the police though, and the headteacher did not come to any of the meetings.

I thought he was standing down as a governor, so didn’t rock the boat there. I have just realised that he didn’t, and am not comfortable with DS being in a school where STBXH has that influence.

Do I highlight the police report to school? Or will this just damage my relationship with school? I can’t work out if this would be revealed under a recheck of his DBS.

Please report that you are concerned to the school. It’s notoriously difficult to get rid of parent governors even when they have done illegal things but safeguarding may mean they can ban him from the premises.

Lougle · 19/10/2021 08:58

@NavigatingAdolescence

I’m a parent governor. My “influence” is extremely limited. I also don’t have to be DBS checked to do it.

Your school is acting against the rules.

"Do school governors need to be DBS checked?
Yes, the Government released legislation in March 2016 that made it mandatory for governors in maintained, independent, academy and free schools to have an Enhanced DBS Check within 21 days of their appointment." Disclosure Services

NavigatingAdolescence · 19/10/2021 09:09

That’s England. Education is devolved in Wales. I’ve shared the link and a screenshot to the Welsh rules.

NavigatingAdolescence · 19/10/2021 09:10

[quote MrsElijahMikaelson1]@NavigatingAdolescence

I’m a parent governor. My “influence” is extremely limited. I also don’t have to be DBS checked to do it.

I think you’ll find that in England you do need a DBS and if you haven’t then your school will immediately be downgraded in any OFSTED visit once they check the School Central Record and find that governors are not checked. It’s the corner stone of safeguarding![/quote]
As I’ve already said, I’m not in England and we have different rules here. (Estyn, whose link I’ve shared, is our version of Ofsted.)

Opal8 · 19/10/2021 09:19

Contact the Police and get an update
Then contact the HT and Chair of Governors and ask for a copy of the governor code of conduct (this should really be on the website under governance)
I am a chair of governors and had to have an enhanced disclosure check (I'm on England)

Neighneigh · 19/10/2021 09:30

I agree with @rrhuth, make this about potential emotional harm to your child. I'm just filling in a governor application form and as someone up thread said, your DH probably hasn't done enough to technically be stopped being a governor. On mine it says something like any prison sentence up to 2 years issued within the last five years, or any sentence for more than 5 years within the previous 20 years means you're barred. So while he's deeply unpleasant, he may still hold the office. But perhaps the chair of the governors doesn't know any of this and should definitely be kept informed.

DifficultBloodyWoman · 19/10/2021 09:35

But perhaps the chair of the governors doesn't know any of this and should definitely be kept informed.

I think this is key. Pressure from the other governors may make him consider leaving. The school itself can’t do very much.

picklemewalnuts · 19/10/2021 09:55

You probably can't stop him being a governor- and neither can the school, if he was voted in. They can refuse to co opt him at the end of his term, if he was co opted.

What they can do- and you'd need to find the right person to pursue this on your behalf- is change the culture so governors aren't seen as part of the staff family. Remove the opportunity to sit with staff at dinner, etc. Introduce a bit of separation so your son knows he is safe to raise his concerns with staff at school with no come back from his father or the teachers.

Orangesandlemons82 · 19/10/2021 10:00

If they carry out DBS update checks regularly then that may be considered relevant on an enhanced check - it is up to the individual police force to decide if it is relevant. Some schools repeat them annually, others not at all for governors. I would contact the clerk to the governors or the chair of governors. They can take advice as to whether it is appropriate that he is in the role.

DahliaMacNamara · 19/10/2021 13:14

In practical terms, I think your best bet is to approach the HT and ask them to consider not inviting STBXH to sit in assemblies etc, outlining why you are making this request. If the GB themselves decide to retain his services, there's no real reason why your DS should come into contact with him during school time other than on infrequent supervised monitoring visits. I'm surprised actually that any non-essential personnel are being allowed on school premises while the children are in at all at the moment.

madisonbridges · 19/10/2021 14:20

It sounds like the STBXH has shared custody of the child so it would be difficult to argue that the child can live with his father but can't see him at school.

rrhuth · 19/10/2021 18:07

@madisonbridges

It sounds like the STBXH has shared custody of the child so it would be difficult to argue that the child can live with his father but can't see him at school.

I would phrase it as the child would benefit from a safe space away from the parents due to the upset the situation caused or something like that.

Newnamemsz · 19/10/2021 18:24

There's nothing in anything the OP has said that indicates either the police or Social Services consider him a risk to the child so it's unlikely the school could take any action.

Original poster

GovenorHeadache · 19/10/2021 18:25

@madisonbridges

It sounds like the STBXH has shared custody of the child so it would be difficult to argue that the child can live with his father but can't see him at school.

My ex sees DS during the daytime, with another adult within 5 mins at all times. Not full shared custody.

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GovenorHeadache · 19/10/2021 18:26

He’s a faith governor at an English Catholic primary school, not an elected parent governor.

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GovenorHeadache · 19/10/2021 18:27

@Newnamemsz

There's nothing in anything the OP has said that indicates either the police or Social Services consider him a risk to the child so it's unlikely the school could take any action.

Social services helped come up with a safety plan for contact time which is not stbxh having contact time with no other adults around.

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NavigatingAdolescence · 19/10/2021 18:28

@GovenorHeadache

He’s a faith governor at an English Catholic primary school, not an elected parent governor.

Oh. Nice.

rrhuth · 19/10/2021 18:29

My ex sees DS during the daytime, with another adult within 5 mins at all times. Is this court ordered or agreed between you?

If there are restrictions on him seeing your son then you absolutely should raise with the school.

What precisely have you done so far?

And if a Faith governor you could maybe put pressure via the Diocese?

You need to focus on the child - difficult break up, very confused, school needs to be a safe space, the incidents whoch I reported to the police (long description) were very distressing, think it is best for the child to be away from both of us when at school etc.

rrhuth · 19/10/2021 18:30

Social services helped come up with a safety plan for contact time which is not stbxh having contact time with no other adults around. If SS are involved already then school really should be thinking this through carefully.

Original poster

GovenorHeadache · 19/10/2021 18:31

Thank you all for your advice. I will speak to police about what they are doing with my report, and then possibly write to the chair of governors.

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GovenorHeadache · 19/10/2021 18:32

@rrhuth

My ex sees DS during the daytime, with another adult within 5 mins at all times. Is this court ordered or agreed between you?

If there are restrictions on him seeing your son then you absolutely should raise with the school.

What precisely have you done so far?

And if a Faith governor you could maybe put pressure via the Diocese?

You need to focus on the child - difficult break up, very confused, school needs to be a safe space, the incidents whoch I reported to the police (long description) were very distressing, think it is best for the child to be away from both of us when at school etc.

Not got to court yet, but agreed with social services support.

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GovenorHeadache · 19/10/2021 18:33

@rrhuth

Social services helped come up with a safety plan for contact time which is not stbxh having contact time with no other adults around. If SS are involved already then school really should be thinking this through carefully.

That’s why I’m amazed. School had had representatives sat in calls with SS.

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