Getting more and more pissed about school uniform at DD's primary school

[StaceyBranning]

My reason for being pissed off is that there are three boys in DD's class that do not wear the right uniform, not even the right colour. DD's uniform is blue and the jumper or cardi has to have the school crest on. The polo shirts are to be white but can be plain and the bottoms are to be navy for girls and grey for boys.

The uniform is not cheap and like most of the parents I have forked out as that is what is required. What is really pissing me off is that these three boys all come wearing grey jumpers! Not even blue!

Despite numerous notes home in school bags nothing has changed, why should I pay out for the uniform when other parents seem to be just getting away with not having to!!

If I had known I could get away with not buying then I would have saved myself money and sent DD in whatever I wanted!

Every morning I see these boys and get more and more pissed off every day!!

Sorry rant over!

But who decides the purpose? Who decides whether a rule has this 'purpose'? You? Me?

We cannot all, individually, decide whether we should obey a rule or not. That is called anarchy. Everyone has a right (and in some cases a responsibility)to question rules and laws. Just choosing to ignore them because you find them petty is ridiculous. Teaching your children that it's ok to do the same is irresponsible and IMO contemptible.

I agree Madamez,

Insisting on everyone wearing the same clothes is just a silly rule. I would find it hard to justify why you should conform to that rule should my children ask me.

However insisting on everyone trying to be kind, not hurting eachothers feelings, listening to others, and trying your hardest seem far more sensible rules for children of 11 and under.

There's nothing wrong with agreeing with them that it's a silly rule. I do this a lot. But then I say, well, if everyone only kept the rules they agreed with we'd have a lot of problems. It doesn't hurt us to keep the rule so we'll keep it, while agreeing that it's silly.

Cushioncover - but we do, individually, decide all the time whether or not we are going to obey rules or ignore them. And in many cases its quite obvious why rules exist. Insisting that school pupils with long hair tie it back is a sensible rule (it's going to get in the way during science, PE etc). Insisting that boys have their hair short is a stupid rule.
If ruyles exist for no good reason - and the people enforcing them can offer no good reason apart from 'it's the rules' then they should definitely be ignored until someone sees sense and does away with them.

Gosh! I have never ever thought about school uniform - far too uch else going on in my life to worry about than what the rules are or are not.

Agree that life is not about choosing which rules you do and do not like and only obeing the ones you agree with. Sadly life is not like that - encourage your children to only follow the ones that Mummy likes and sooner or later life will give them a short shrift. Sad but true.

DS wears a school uniform - not because I especially agree with it but because that is the school's agreed dress code which everyone wears - end of story. I can't say I'd ever notice if a child was not in uniform.

Oh and in the 1970s and coming from a very poor family I constantly had the piss taken out of me for my shabby clothes which were definitely not fashionable - school uniform would have saved me from that.

Agree with madamez
It is a dangerous society which blindly follows the rules.

The parents of these three children have gone to the effort of buying jumpers, it wouldn't even have been noticed if they blue but the fact that chose and bought grey is just ridiculous!

I am really starting to wonder about the point of MN recently, you used to be able to post your opinion maybe have a small debate and that was that, where all this bitchiness has come from I don't know.

I haven't seen any bitchiness - disagreement, different opinions, yes. Bitchiness, no.

"If some choose to ignore it then it becomes harder for all the other parents who support the school and their uniform to justify to their kids why they should wear the uniform."

Then maybe you should think harder about that justification? Perhaps the other parents are right, or at least have an equally valid view?

But the parents who ignore the uniform rule can't be right because they knew what the rules were before they decided to send their child to the school. It would be different if there had been no uniform, then it was decided to introduce it.

"We cannot all, individually, decide whether we should obey a rule or not."

Yes we can. In fact, yes we do.

Ok, we 'should not'...

My argument has nothing to do with the rights and wrongs of school uniform but the message parents send out to their children when they teach them it's ok to ignore or break rules they disagree with.

I've come across many situations where a parent has disagreed with school over a rule or how a situation has been handled. But, they have supported the decision in front of the child and then taken up the issue with school later. That is how it should be handled.

Haven't read whole thread but I think you are being totally unreasonable and ridiculous OP.

My three don't wear the school logo sweater but they wear grey black uniform colours. It is not enforceable in primary school and really isn't a big deal - is only clothes after all.

I can't afford to replace their jumpers as they changed schools mid way through the year after we moved from a women's refuge. This is why we don't have the school branding going on in our case.

The head mentioned that I might like to consider getting the 'right' jumpers so the children don't feel left out, so I asked them - thinking I could rummage through the second hand supply. They all said they were happy as they are.

Good on them for their lack of sheep mentality I say.

I'd be more concerned over the education my child is receiving at the school than the school uniform issue.

They may not be wearing the actual school uniform but they are wearing standard school colours.

It is Ok to break rules you disagree with. Rules are not always good or right or relevant and can be actively unjust. I hope to teach my DS to think for himself and get the facts, not to blindly obey other people.

Bear in mind that many social injustices were only corrected by people breaking rules and laws, not just campaigning against them.

But journey that is the whole point of the OP. They are not wearing the correct colour of jumper.

I just googled "petty" and got redirected to this thread
I am appalled by the amount of energy focussed on school uniform issues.
as opposed to things that actually matter tbh.
I am even more appalled by the idea that we shouldn't question rules what, we should just follow all authority blindly and unquestioningly
that is precisely the opposite of what I teach my dds
ask why a rule exists.
have a little independence of thought and action, surely, rather than just following the crowd and the custom?
this reminds me of Cranford - women don't go to funerals.

Bozza - They're wearing bog standard school colours, though, just not wearing the actual school colours. It would be a bit different if they were wearing bright yellows, pinks, loads of patterns etc.

HC, (and others) If you read my post you'll see that I am all for questioning rules. I even said that in many cases we have a responsibility to do so.

I just think that children of primary school age are not able to properly distinguish between rules or to weigh up in their minds the validity of each. Therefore, I stand by my original opinion that it is irresponsible to tell/show them they can break the rules if they so choose.

Let's save the lectures on liberty and freedom of choice for things that matter, like ID cards!

I went to school in France for a short period and the non-uniform policy meant the rich kids had smart stuff and tormented the poor kids who didn't. I can't see how that's helpful, myself.

Oh I just realised how rude that sounded--sorry!