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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

DD only child from Nursery…

50 replies

ListenLinda · 06/07/2021 19:42

Hi.
It is becoming apparent that DD is the only one from her Nursery who is going to the school she is going to.
She is a confident little girl who plays with anyone and I wasn’t worried at all, thought she will be fine and make friends.
But I am second guessing myself now!
Has anyone else had this, can you reassure me that she will be ok and make friends?
Primary Teachers, does this happen a lot and is there something in place for the kids to mix so that they don’t all stick to groups they know?
Maybe I am overthinking it but I am having an attack of the Mum guilt this evening

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Original poster

ListenLinda · 06/07/2021 19:43

Should add… our second choice school seems to be where the majority of children from the nursery are going…

OP posts:

ItsSnowJokes · 06/07/2021 19:44

This was the same as my eldest and now my youngest this year. My eldest coped just fine and I am keeping fingers crossed my youngest will as well. Kids at 4 and 5 have such fickle friendships anyway I just don't see it as an issue.

Mishmased · 06/07/2021 19:45

We moved 300km when DS was 4, he started primary school a few months later and didn't know anyone. He's 8 now and had loads of friends. Don't worry she'll be fine.

HorriderHenry · 06/07/2021 19:45

From a parent perspective… After the first month, it’s not as noticeable who knew each other before school… after six months barely noticeable at all. My eldest went to school (2 form entry) knowing about 10 children, my youngest knowing none… it’s fine, I’m sure she’ll be fine!

TrinityWaves · 06/07/2021 19:47

Yes honestly at 4 they are absolutely fine starting and not knowing anyone. I agree with the above comment about friendships being extremely fickle. They chop and change constantly at this age. You definitely don't need to worry. My eldest didn't form a permanent group of friends until about Year 4, that are still friends now.

Twickerhun · 06/07/2021 19:48

My dc is in the same situation in September. The school tell me it’s normally ok. They had one horror year when a big clique from one nursery bonded too well and caused issues but every other year kids have settled in and mixed well. Is there a parents WhatsApp group can you arrange a play date with other kids?

CherryBlossom100 · 06/07/2021 19:48

Reception teacher here. My experience is that children come from a mix of pre schools and nurseries and some come from being at home only. Can't say for sure that your school is the same.
I find that children mix freely with all the children even if they already know some previously.
Friendships remain changeable until into going year 1 for most children meaning they play with different children every few days or so.
You could help by organising play dates in September if you would like.

2tired2bewitty · 06/07/2021 19:48

Because of job based house moves dd knew no one when she started reception and then we moved again and she knew no one in her new year 1 class, and then again in year 4. She’s fine, makes friends quickly and has no apprehension about starting secondary school this year, though at least this time she will have some friends with her!

Rainallnight · 06/07/2021 19:51

My DD was the same last September and she’s been absolutely fine. Has lots of friends. And hers is a Reception class where a lot of kids came up together from the school’s nursery but it still didn’t cause an issue.

Reception is so busy and play-based in a free flowing kind of way that they all just mix up a lot. It’s great.

80Days · 06/07/2021 19:52

We moved schools when DS2 was halfway through Reception. He didn’t know any children at the new school.

He’d completely settled in and made friends after half a term.

Original poster

ListenLinda · 06/07/2021 19:54

I’m not sure about a parents whatsapp group as I now won’t know any other parents, is this something parents organise or the school arranges?
I swap between thinking she will be fine and then feeling really nervous. It’s our first time doing this and we are confident in our school choice but didn’t think she would be the only one. The school is the closest one to Nursery.
I don’t suppose it will matter at all come the end of the first term!

OP posts:

Glitterandunicorns · 06/07/2021 20:00

We had this situation. My son was pretty anxious in nursery so we worried a lot about school, but it's been brilliant for him! He's made good friends and the other parents have been friendly and welcoming.

I'm sure your child will be fine, and schools have ways of helping children to integrate if they need it. Best of luck!

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 06/07/2021 20:01

we had this with all 7 of our kids.
the bigger nursery had a waiting list where people would add there names as soon as they had a BFB and the kids would typically start at 2 yo.

I didn't want mine to start that early so went with a smaller setting.
out of 70 reception intake (up to DS3), then 90 intake (from DS4 onwards) of infants there were maybe 1 or 2 kids who cane from our nursery and were never put in the same class as ours!

they all coped well and made friends.

we had to do an in-year transfer when DS4 was in y5 when we moved so despite staying at infants for all the younger ones DS5 & DD then went on to a junior school where again they knew nobody when they starred.
DS5 is y6, DD y4 and again they've made lots of friends!
And DS6 is starting y3 in Sept and I have no doubt he'll adjust too.

so please don't worry, you LO will be fine.
the teachers will know she's billy no mates at the start and usually they pay attention to that. obv do talk to them to make sure.
(don't expect your DD to make friends on the first days/weeks.)

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 06/07/2021 20:01

*their
*BFP

I'm sure there are other typos, I'm getting distracted

Terrazzo · 06/07/2021 20:03

DS went to a nursery half an hour away and half his reception class came from the nursery opposite the school so knew each other. Don’t remember any issues at all! Although DS2 now goes to that nursery across the road, half hour away nursery didn’t work with DS1’s school run and DS2 knowing kids who will go to his school was a minor factor in choosing that nursery.
My friend’s kid didn’t go to any nursery at all so didn’t know anyone in reception. Was totally fine.

PumpkinKlNG · 06/07/2021 20:06

My daughter Didn’t even go to nursery so she won’t know anyone

TheGriffle · 06/07/2021 20:07

They will be fine! Dd1 went to primary knowing only 2 boys from her nursery, neither of which she played with. Dd2 is going up in September and I don’t know anyone from her nursery who is going but I know she will be ok too.

ShowOfHands · 06/07/2021 20:09

Neither of mine went to reception with children they knew. They either didn't go to nursery at all or went to a school far away from their nursery. They were absolutely fine. There will be children of SAHMs, dc who go to childminders, children new to the area and so on. It'll be fine!

Whitewolf2 · 06/07/2021 20:13

My daughter was in the same boat last Sept and she was absolutely fine, made new friends no problem and didn’t ask ever again about the old ones from nursery! She’s always been happy to play with different people and was very happy despite being one of the youngest in the year.

pyjamabanana · 06/07/2021 20:19

I haven't had this, but my DD has had a couple of new people join her class from a different school. They always settle in well and are made to feel very welcomed by the children. They are 6 btw. I'm sure all will be fine!

Original poster

ListenLinda · 06/07/2021 20:19

This is very reassuring thank you :)

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Suzi888 · 06/07/2021 20:20

Yes my very shy DD was in this position and was absolutely fine. They have little taster sessions before they start and initially it’s mostly just playing (learning through play) to get to know each other.

Bobholll · 06/07/2021 20:41

We have this situation @ListenLinda - I’m nervous too. We moved house to a new area last year but left her in the nursery close to our old house as we’d not long moved her to that nursery due to covid/work situ.

When she moved to her new nursery in July last year, she didn’t know anyone. She had a gang of friends within a couple weeks. This really reassures me that it’ll probably be OK!

We aren’t getting any induction days though, cheers covid 🙄

Smileyoubeauty · 06/07/2021 20:45

She will be fine children make friends much more quickly than adults and are more accepting.

I remember when my son started he did not attend the nursery that was linked to the school. I remember how on the first day whilst waiting to go in, the other children who knew each other were playing games chasing each other etc (normal childs play). I remember looking around and there were a few little ones standing with their parents and watching from the sidelines (clearly the newbies that never went to the school nursery.

I was holding my son's hand and we had been watching the other children for a little when my son said something that really touched my heart even to this day. He was like "mummy do I have friends ". My heart just melted. When I left him I was in bits but by the end if the week he was coming home and telling me that he had played with so and so. She will be fine - take it from a mum who has been there.

Lindy2 · 06/07/2021 20:46

They'll be absolutely fine. Kids that age are so flexible with friendships.

Even if they went to school with some nursery friends, it's more than likely, after the first half term, that they'd be friends with completely new children anyway.

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