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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Original poster

Not christened (Covid) so no school place?

77 replies

SteveyFluff · 18/04/2021 18:31

My DS starts school in Sept 2022. So he’s the next cohort in line to apply and get a place. But I didn’t take him to church as a baby because I was exhausted and suffering PND and birth injuries. In fact I didn’t even get dressed and go out of the house because I was so bad. I thought I had plenty of time to sort it out when he was a bit older and I was coping better. He was just getting old enough to be able to attend church when Covid happened. So he still hasn’t been christened or ever attended church.

I’m CEV and have been vaccinated but don’t know when I’ll feel safe to do those things. Now I’m worried he won’t get into the Catholic school next year because he hasn’t been christened and I’m scared to go to church. I hadn’t thought about it much but the news about school offers this week has brought it to the front of my mind and now I’m worried.

OP posts:
mostlydrinkstea · 18/04/2021 18:36

What does the admissions policy say? If it says your child needs to be baptised then talk to the parish priest. Many churches have been open since last summer but during some of lockdown they have not been permitted to do baptisms. You won't know until you ask. If you are a member of the congregation but have been unable to attend mass then hopefully the priest will be able to say something on the letter that goes with the application.

PatriciaHolm · 18/04/2021 18:41

The first place to start is the admissions policy for the school you want, which should be on their website. This will lay out exactly what you need for each criteria of their admission policy, and it should also have a policy for proving attendance over the past year. Our local one, for example, treats all those who were attending before the shutdown as if they have continued to do so. However, given you haven't attended at all, this is unlikely to be enough.

Talk to the school; they will be able to tell you if they allocate places to non-catholics each year (many do), so it may not matter as much as you think. If they always fill from the catholic applicants, talk to them about what kind of proof of your catholicism they might be prepared to accept.

Is there another parent or a relative in the picture who could possibly arrange a christening and/or attend with him?

Wooddie · 18/04/2021 19:33

Check the admissions policy and how over subscribed the school is. Talk to your priest. Since the pandemic started the Sunday obligation to go to church has been lifted as there are many in your position of being clinically vulnerable or concerned about attending. There may be online service that you can 'go to' which fulfill the obligation. You do have some time as the baptism is likely to be needing to be done by mid January 2022 - the admissions policy will say exactly when -but don't delay.

Original poster
SteveyFluff · 18/04/2021 19:37

The admissions policy says the child has to be baptised. DS isn’t baptised. I don’t know when the church will start doing baptisms again, or when the people I’d choose as god parents will be allowed to travel. The policy doesn’t say anything about being “practising” either. I definitely won’t feel safe attending church in the foreseeable future.

I used to attend a different church before we moved house, but haven’t attended the local church since we moved to this village because I gave birth and I’ve been suffering with my health too much to attend. I could have attended when DS turned two because I’d largely recovered, but by then we were trapped by Covid, and will continue to be for the foreseeable future.

OP posts:
DazzlePaintedBattlePants · 18/04/2021 19:47

Some supplementary forms for religious criteria request date of baptism, and some will specify baptism before 12 months of age. I’m assuming you were an active member of the church before you had your son? Our forms request the priest to confirm that the parents are active members of the congregation and to be honest give your son would have been 2 or 3 before lockdown they would have expected you to have been in church/known to the church before lockdown.

Our church has been running online services and Messy Church story time - if your priest thinks you’re genuine I’m sure they would have no problem acknowledging your exenuating circumstances.

DazzlePaintedBattlePants · 18/04/2021 19:49

Just seen your update - baptisms are now permitted so you shouldn’t have any problem getting your son baptised now, well before the application deadline.

PremiumRoll · 18/04/2021 19:49

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Original poster
SteveyFluff · 18/04/2021 19:50

No, never been to church since before I had DS. I’ve hardly been out of the house in fact. I have chronic pain from birth injuries and have suffered terribly with my mental health since he was born. Mental health has improved a lot and I’m able to go out now - except Covid means I can’t.

OP posts:
Original poster
SteveyFluff · 18/04/2021 19:52

I’m worried sick that my own mental health issues will now result in DS not being able to get into the local school, because I was too bad to be able to attend church and get him baptised before Covid happened.

OP posts:
NerrSnerr · 18/04/2021 19:53

Has the church been doing online services? Could that be a good place to start? Our local church has done some very organised, socially distanced services. If you talked it though with the priest first could that be a possibility?

titchy · 18/04/2021 19:55

Then get him baptised now. You've got well over six months to arrange it. One phone call to book it in. You may not have the god parents in person, but that doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things does it.

autumnboys · 18/04/2021 20:00

I write several letters confirming church membership every year for our CoE Church.

Get in touch with your church by email, introduce yourself and find out if they’re doing online services. If they are, start attending right away, plus if they have any online bible studies. Sig up to the newsletter if they have one. Would your priest from your last church write you a letter of introduction so that they can see that it’s been circumstances that have kept you from attending?

Re: the not yet baptised, I would expect to see some flexibility around this. Most of the children i write letters for are not baptised, as their parents want them to come to that decision for themselves. Although baptism are allowed lots of churches aren’t yet holding them because of the restriction on numbers. Again explain your position to the priest and see what can be done. Primary applications don’t go in for a while yet, you still have time to establish a qualifying connection with the church.

Hellocatshome · 18/04/2021 20:05

You say you haven't been to church since before he was born, when was the last time you regularly attended church?

Mayvis · 18/04/2021 20:07

How long ago did you move to the village? You say your child was 2 when you felt able to start attending church then COVID hit. Have you ever attended any service at the church (in person pre-COVID or virtually)?

I’m not sure whether the school would be able to change their admissions criteria now - I think it usually has to be changed well in advance of when it comes into effect. Someone more knowledgeable than me will know.

confuseddotcomma · 18/04/2021 20:17

Churches are doing baptisms now and it can be just you, baby, and socially distanced priest so not a covid risk. You will have plenty of time :)

Hellocatshome · 18/04/2021 20:19

Sorry I might have missed this but do you have a partner? Have they been to church? I think depending on how strict the priest/school is you could find this difficult if there has been no attempt by you or your partner to engage with the church until you stated thinking about school places.

GreyhoundG1rl · 18/04/2021 20:21

How old is your child? Be aware some Catholic school's specify baptism before 6 months, not simply before you fill in the admissions forms.
But it's only an issue if the local school is over subscribed, of course.

Azuretwist · 18/04/2021 20:24

Does your partner go to church? Or if single, has the baby’s father taken the dc to church? If you both were regular church goers before you had your df, your old church can confirm that.

NaturalStudy · 18/04/2021 20:25

Can your priest at your previous church not write a letter of recommendation for you or introduce you to your new priest? As PPs have said most churches are doing online mass and you could perhaps ask the priest to come to you for communion if you are too worried to attend in person.

momobots · 18/04/2021 20:27

@SteveyFluff

My DS starts school in Sept 2022. So he’s the next cohort in line to apply and get a place. But I didn’t take him to church as a baby because I was exhausted and suffering PND and birth injuries. In fact I didn’t even get dressed and go out of the house because I was so bad. I thought I had plenty of time to sort it out when he was a bit older and I was coping better. He was just getting old enough to be able to attend church when Covid happened. So he still hasn’t been christened or ever attended church.

I’m CEV and have been vaccinated but don’t know when I’ll feel safe to do those things. Now I’m worried he won’t get into the Catholic school next year because he hasn’t been christened and I’m scared to go to church. I hadn’t thought about it much but the news about school offers this week has brought it to the front of my mind and now I’m worried.

Catholic school are (usually) under subscribed IME. Mine go to a catholic school that is on the brink of being closed as only 43 children attend. I think you will be fine, can your priest write you a covering letter explaining the situation to the local authority and just explain that you are a parish member and attendee usually.
RandomMess · 18/04/2021 20:29

@momobots it varies so much!!!

Where I lived before it was a bun fight to get into the Catholic School!

Hellocatshome · 18/04/2021 20:29

Catholic school are (usually) under subscribed IME I think that must depend where you are in the country because Catholic Schools where I am are massively over subscribed.

GreyhoundG1rl · 18/04/2021 20:29

Catholic school are (usually) under subscribed IME
Confused. Where do you live?

DingDongThongs · 18/04/2021 20:32

I had to take in the Baptismal certificate for the place I'd got from LEA to secure the place and not lose it to others that were waiting

. I've been v lucky and had three kids all get their first choice school.

GreyhoundG1rl · 18/04/2021 20:33

Well, baptism after the age of 6 months wouldn't get you a kick in a stampede at any Catholic school I know.
43 pupils! 😂

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