Prefer state but need smaller classes - help!

[Oldwreck]

My DS is in year 3 at a very good state primary school. He’s very young for the year and has always found the work rather a struggle. He has also fallen further behind during lockdown as he’s just too young to find the motivation to do tasks sent home by school (despite lots of help
from me). He’s a bright boy but always feels like he is trying to cling on. School have never been very concerned, saying he will mature eventually and catch up, but I am not sure about this and his confidence is being affected. In all other respects I love the school - the fact that everyone is different, the atmosphere, the passion of the teachers etc. Despite his worries over the work he is pretty happy there and has good friends. He doesn’t want to move school although I think most of children would say that.
After a lot of worrying we decided that he needs to be at a school with smaller classes and more resources to give him the extra support he needs (his current school have tried to help and the teachers are wonderful but they just don’t have the resources). He sat an exam and has been offered a place at a local prep school, which is meant to be an excellent school. It would tick the box in terms of smaller classes, more support etc., but I am not sure that my son would suit the traditional prep school environment. He’s quite quirky, not at all sporty and not hugely confident until he feels comfortable. I have a real fear of the over confident sporty environment having had experience of it as a child. I am worried about it being rather two dimensional - as if anyone different would stand out like a sore thumb.

My instinct is that the prep school isn’t for him, but we are worried that he is slipping further and further behind as things stand. We have tried a tiny bit of extra tutoring which has helped enormously but he hates having to do it on top of his school day.
We also don’t have a good state secondary school near where we live and so will be looking at private for secondary - and are worried he won’t stand a chance of getting a place if we don’t move him into the private system now.
There isn’t an alternative private school near us so it comes down to a choice between great state school where he’s falling increasingly behind, or the prep school where he may get more support with his work but not really fit in.
I’m well aware how spoilt and privileged I must sound. We are very lucky to have this choice at all, but any advice would be appreciated. Thank you so much.

Thank you so much for your reply @Oldwreck and for letting us know how your DS got on. I’m so glad he’s thriving and happy and that you got the investigations and diagnoses.

I hope everything continues to go well for him.

It’s so hard to know what to do for the best; most DC just mature, find their place and do well in time. It’s just not knowing how much better they’d do in private or state, and which school is good until you’re in it. But you can’t run one horse in two races, and so can never know. The big concern too is shelling out ££££ only for it not to work or not to have been worth it; again, something you can’t know until it’s too late.

I think we’re going to see how DS fares with his new (started last week 😩) primary teacher, seek a meeting with the primary head to ask about her experience of summer born boys, and I’ll revisit the prep with DH. Maybe by June I’ll be in a better position to make an informed choice.

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond; I hope all goes well with your DS in future.

@MyLeftFoot1792 i think it sounds as if you’re doing absolutely the right thing. It’s such early days for your son and as a summer boy he’s still v young. And it doesn’t sound as if he’s actually unhappy - you’ve got plenty of time to play with. Also - in the unlikely event that he does end up struggling due to being one of the younger ones and you move to private later, you could drop him back a year at that point (I’ve seen quite a few summer borns do this) - so that could be another reason for holding off moving him. Fingers crossed he will thrive where he is and that his new teacher is really good. We did have some wonderful teachers at our state school. It just wasn’t the right place for our son.

Thank you @Oldwreck hopefully some time to play with, and by summer perhaps all will become clear (or clearer…). I have a tendency to worry too much and overthink, so I do need to remember to try and keep things in perspective, and put his happiness first.