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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Am I a terrible person if I send her in without having read her book?

32 replies

Flamesparrow · 15/10/2007 07:47

She's 4! I don't wanna be the terrible mother who didn't do the reading over the weekend, but if I try in a minute after breakfast it will be a rush and I'll snap at her....

Will they all be judgey with me??

OP posts:

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BreeVanDerCampLGJ · 15/10/2007 07:54

If we ran out of time, I used to read the story out loud and I asked DS to pick out any of the difficult words for me. That way he felt quite important and waited for the big words. It is not ideal, but once in a blue moon.

It gets easier, DS now does his own reading and we listen to it before it goes back.

theslownorris · 15/10/2007 07:56

I wouldn't worry! So far my two have been in without their library books,water bottles and coats. (Not just once each either ).

Original poster

Flamesparrow · 15/10/2007 07:57

Lol - we had the the other day Norris "Mummy, can I take my water bottle tomorrow?"

I thought she had been leaving it at school (not unheard of)... turns out she hadn't had one for 3 days

Lol @ waiting for the big words.. would that be see, or dick, or run?

OP posts:

incogneato · 15/10/2007 07:59

is she in reception? I would just write in her book that you did not have time / dd too tired.
this does not make you a terrible mother

Tommy · 15/10/2007 08:01

I'm sure there are children in her class whose parents have never read with her so tyr not to sorry about it!

If it helps, DS1 hasn't done his reading this weekend either and I am Mrs Super conscientious govenor paranoid-they'll-judge-me-if-I-don't-write-in-his-reading-diary Mum

Tommy · 15/10/2007 08:02

try not to worry about it...

Original poster

Flamesparrow · 15/10/2007 08:04

Thank you

I have always been useless at remembering things and swore it wouldn't affect my children, now the teeniest thing and I am convinced everyone will think it is because I am useless and forgot rather than lack of time or something else

Methinks I may have self esteem issues

OP posts:

TwigorTreat · 15/10/2007 08:07

she's 4!

that rather says it all really doesn't it

if it helps I told DS' reception teacher quite categorically that I wouldn't do the homework with him until he was happy to do it as I didn't want to pressure him at such an early age.. and she quite agreed with me... he started wanting to do it at end of reception ..

chocolateteapot · 15/10/2007 08:11

Would it make you feel any better if I told you that about 6 months ago I had a conversation with a friend. She helps out with the reading at school and when I said that I rarely wrote in the reading log, she said rather pointedly " I noticed !"

I really wouldn't worry in reception but I don't think I'm a person to be listened to on things like this......

Budababe · 15/10/2007 08:17

It has happened too! I usually write in the reading book "can we have this one again tonight please?"

None of us are perfect!

FlightAttendant · 15/10/2007 08:35

We've done it in 5 minutes before school before now but usually I get it over with quick now. However this week he brought home one about a baby brother, I read it to him while he crossly and determinedly Did Something Else...he has a new brother...

I wrote in the book, 'Peter didn't want to read this book, so we read some others instead!'

I've now started him on Alice in Wonderland, which he loves

But usually the school ones are pretty good too.

I wouldn't judge you!!

Original poster

Flamesparrow · 15/10/2007 09:15

She finished her breakfast really quickly, so we did have time to do it calmly

Thank you for all the reassurance everyone!

for the baby brother book and at your friend CT!!! How rude!

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Nitnovice · 15/10/2007 10:12

My top tip is to write "we didn't read school books this weekend, because we were busy reading some new books we borrowed from the library".

With that comment, I could extract a "well done" and a smiley face comment from her Reception teacher, without even breaking into a sweat

sandyballs · 15/10/2007 10:18

Every term I vow to do better with the reading and it starts off wonderfully with carefully written paragraphs about how well the DD's tried ...... then it slowly gets less and less, and now the week before half term, it is completely empty again .

BUT, they do read their own books frequently in bed so i'm not going to stress about it too much (year 2).

Original poster

Flamesparrow · 15/10/2007 10:43

Loving the library idea

I was baffled at what the hell I was meant to write in the comments bit - they don't tell you that!!! We now have "read with mummy/daddy/gran/the dog" etc

OP posts:

GrapefruitMoon · 15/10/2007 10:51

Oh God, this is my main Guilt thing with my kids - I never remember or else there are some after school activities which means there isn't time - but both my school age children are good readers for their age and read a lot in bed, etc

Hulababy · 15/10/2007 10:52

Just write in her book that you didn't get chance and can you have the book again tonight to do then.

FlightAttendant · 15/10/2007 11:38

I usually just put a sentence like 'Peter liked the dog who was wearing a dress' or 'We enjoyed standing bravely like Pedro. Peter and Pedro have the same name in a different language' type of thing.
It is very easy to scrawl something like that.

Mind you I could bluff for England - got a pass in Eng Lit A-level having skim read ALL the books the night before

I knew the protagonists' names, made up the rest.

OrmIrian · 15/10/2007 11:40

If you didn't have time, you didn't have time. I have 3 DCs, all with hw to do and all with reading to hear. Sometimes DS#2's book doesn't get read everyday - so shoot me! He doesn't always want to either and there is no way I'm forcing him to do it - totally counterproductive IMO.

Carbonel · 15/10/2007 20:18

I have definiitley run out of innovative ideas of things to write in the reading journal Now it is generally just the page number for dd (who is on chapter books) but that is sporadic as she reads lots of her own too and the school don't (appear to) judge me!

I really would not worry - you cannot force a 4 year old to read anyway. My two used to get their books out in the car on the way home and if what they read appeared to make sense i just wrote in the book anyway if there was not time to do more.

Reallytired · 15/10/2007 20:58

I see no point in forcing a small child to read. If they are too tired then it just makes it a battle. The time would be better learning letter sounds. There are games that you can play to make learning letter sounds fun.

if you go to this website www.dyslexics.org.uk

select resources and pick 5) phonics games you will find fun ways to get your child to learn letter sounds.

My son didn't have a reading book until he was five years old and had spent an entire term in reception without a reading book.

He is now reading stage 6 of the Oxford Reading Tree inspite of the fact that I only hear my son read about 3 times a week on average. I think activites like learning to swim or gymnastics are important as well.

FlameBat · 15/10/2007 23:17

Argh - when did this turn into forcing tired children to read, and not doing other activities??!!?

This was never about whether or not DD read, it was about me (self centred moment) and whether or not everyone would think I was a crap mother.

Niecie · 15/10/2007 23:37

No they wouldn't. I had huge gaps in DS homework book. Quite often I didn't hear him read more than 2 or 3 times a week and half the time I forgot to write in the book. They didn't change the books often enough so we got bored so he looked at books on his own and we always read a bedtime story so it wasn't as if he had no exposure to books.

Really, it isn't a competition. Who is going to judge you? The teacher doesn't keep a tally of who is reading and who isn't on a daily basis. The only time she might have something to say is if your DD isn't progressing and that is not something that is going to be obvious from missing one weekend of reading - it will be over half a term or more.

I was going to say lighten up which sounds a bit harsh but I mean that in the nicest possible way.

FlameBat · 16/10/2007 07:17

It really is more about me being worried about letting her down I have spent my life forgetting everything important and I am paranoid people will assume that is the case with anything I fall behind on with my children too

seeker · 16/10/2007 07:56

You have my permission (I'm allowed to give it because I am the oldest person on Mumsnet, definitely old enough to be your mother and I have managed to get a child all the way through Primary school without being Found Out") to not do reading if you forget/don't have time/don't feel like it. So long as you do it sometimes, and read other books to her/with her she'll be fine. Actually, the very fact that you care that you haven't read with her means that it doesn't matter that you haven't!

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