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DD (nearly 10) has done a bad bit of homework - what should I do?

30 replies

Katymac · 12/10/2007 07:46

She did it last night while I was out

I spotted it this morning

If I had supervised last night, it would have been neater and a bit more coherent.

Do I write in her homework diary, how upset I am by it or do I juat write she did it without supervision

(I must add, I don't help her with her homework, I just think being there affects what she condiers to be acceptable)

OP posts:
Katymac · 12/10/2007 07:57

I've got to write something soon

Any ideas

(I'm over analysing it aren't I?)

OP posts:
juuule · 12/10/2007 08:02

Overanalysing How old is she? It's her homework. I wouldn't write anything that shows her you are disappointed. She has done her homework, herself and that is a good thing. You might want to go over it with her later but I wouldn't put anything critical in her diary.

WideWebWitch · 12/10/2007 08:03

Do nothing, she'll get it corrected and she's learn from it.

WideWebWitch · 12/10/2007 08:04

Ds is 10 and has sent some shockingly bad stuff in as homework because he's thrown an almighty strop about doing it so I've refused to help and he's rattled through it FAST without paying attention. He deserves to get poor marks for that imo, he needs to learn that effort = good marks.

Blandmum · 12/10/2007 08:04

Leave her to it.

The teacher will be able to sopt if it is below her normal level of work, and may have a word with her about it.

At 10 I don't think that you really need to monitor every bit of work, your dd (like them all! ) needs to know that she should do her homework for herself, not because mum is looking over her sholder

The new buzz phrase in the ed biz is 'Independent learners', in other words we should be training the kids to do the work, to assess their work and to improve it by themselves (with helpful guidance).

I'd leave it to the teacher

Katymac · 12/10/2007 08:05

It's not wrong - just practically unreadable

OP posts:
WideWebWitch · 12/10/2007 08:05

I'd still leave her to it and anyway, MB the teacher has spoken.

Blandmum · 12/10/2007 08:06

Oh gawd, what a nag I must seem!

WideWebWitch · 12/10/2007 08:07

no, no, no, I meant you're an experienced teacher, we're not! It was a compliment MB!

Blandmum · 12/10/2007 08:09

Thank you! But I am a nag

But Friday is my day off. Horray!

popsycal · 12/10/2007 08:09

Let her do it. It is important that the teacher knows she has sturggled. Maybe a short note saying that from you....

popsycal · 12/10/2007 08:10

I think at 10 you need to leave her to it. I get lots of homework handed in that has clearly been done by parents...

callmeovercautious · 12/10/2007 08:13

Leave it. It is a reflection of what she can do alone and perhaps that is what it should always be like? The teachers won't know to help her improve if you always supervise. I am not saying ignore her and don't assist occasionally if she is stuck but a more hands off approach will help her become more independant with it IYSWIM?

Budababe · 12/10/2007 08:17

Another vote for leaving it. At 10 she is old enough to know that it should be done carefully and neatly. But she won't take it from you as well as from her teacher. If she gets pulled up on it - it will be a lesson well learned hopefully.

Blandmum · 12/10/2007 08:18

Popsy is right, the teacher doesn't need to know that you can do the work (or have supervised it to your standard)

She needs to know what your dd can do, and what her standard it (IYSWIM)

I had a hell of a row with my dd last night, also 10, is it their age I wonder!?

The reason, I wouldn't coach her through her homework. Cue slaming doors, yelling 'You don't care'. All because I wouldn't tell her the words that she needed for her English homeowrk and insisted that she look them up in the dictionary (which was what the homework was all about!)

She 'couldn't' look up the words. Which is crap, as she has an adult reading level. She 'couldn't' be arsed, and wannted me to do it for her.

[sigh]

and I was stressed enough as it was......

ShrinkingViolet · 12/10/2007 08:30

I still get that with DD1 who's 14 - if I cared about her at all, I'd let her use the computer to type up everything rather than insisting on using it myself as I don't do anything important and anyway it would take her FOREVER to write it out by hand and it would be rubbish anyway...etc etc etc. Sometimes I think she should be a free diver as she doesn't seem to need to draw breath at all.
katymac - I reckon 10 is more than old enough to start learning care + effort = decent marks, and better to be pulled up now, than several years down the line when it starts to get a bit more important. Perhaps a quiet word with the teacher after school though?

Blandmum · 12/10/2007 08:32

SV, PMSL at the free diver comment, God that is just like my dd!

Hallgerda · 12/10/2007 08:39

Let her take the consequences. You'll drive yourself round the twist if you attempt to check all secondary school homework, so now would be a good time to give your daughter the responsibility.

Katymac · 12/10/2007 08:45

Ok so in the bit I have to write whether she did it or not & how long she took - I simply wrote "DD did her homework by herself"

OP posts:
Eliza2 · 12/10/2007 08:45

There must be something in the air--my ten-year- old did a piece of English work that was lacking in punctuation and spellings He still thinks that doing things fast is better than doing them well.

Katymac · 12/10/2007 08:53

Homework is the least of it - this morning WW3 broke out

I changed her routine to see if we could speed up mornings (on Wed at 8.25 she wasn't dress, hadn't had her breakfast, hadn't taken her inhaler & she is supposed to leave at 8.20)

So I went in at 7 with a drink & her inhaler so by 8 she wasn't dressed and I asked "have you had your B/F?" "yes" says DD and hands me a clean dry bowl & spoon "This bowl doesn't look like there has been any food in it....are you sure you have eaten?"

"Yes" says DD, "well I think you should have some more" "Oh OK" - such quick agreement suggests she was lying and proceeded to pour peaches (& peach juice) all ove upholstered chair, the trousers the floor etc

Hence me at end of tether bursting into tears and telling her she was a stupid cow - I think we are going through a bad patch atm

OP posts:
MaureenMLove · 12/10/2007 09:29

I know the OP has been solved now, butI just thought I'd lend my support. I'd just write, dd did homework unaided too.

On the speeding up thing, I was really, really mean to DD one morning and since then we haven't looked back.

I put her clock forward whilst she was asleep and then gentle woke her with the words 'I'm sorry to bother you darling, but me and mindees are going to school in 15mins, are you going in today or not?'

Katymac · 12/10/2007 09:34

How old was she when you did it?

OP posts:
MaureenMLove · 12/10/2007 13:12

About 10 I think. It was quite mean, I know, but very effective! I don't think there's a family in the country who doesn't have WWW3 at least once every couple of weeks!

hennipenni · 12/10/2007 14:31

I'm a little harder than that (have two DDs to sort out plus assorted mindees plus hangersoners of eldest DD). I have before now stood in front of an open front door with mindees ready, book bags and lunch boxes at the ready and shouted "If your not ready in 5mins you are going in your PJ's." (I was at my wits en that day)I may have sounded like a fish wife but by gum it had the right effect, DD2 was mortified at the thought of her teacher seeing her in her jimjams. Don't know if I would actually take them in their jimmies tho' hope they don't call my bluff

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