When does struggling a bit become SEN?

[harman]

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harman, flip it and think not what he can't do but all the school are doing to help achieve. Your school sounds fab to me, that they gave him a IEP has got to be a bonus.

Many schools have a programme that picks up anyone who is falling back a little bit, gives them a boost with some small group intervention, then they catch up and go back to doing the same as everyone else.
So it may be that your ds may only need help for a short period of time.
Did they mention school action? and an IEP?
Try not to worry too much at this stage, children all develop at different rates.
What year is he in?

don't panic. Many, many kids go on to the regester at the lowers level of intervention (which this is), get the help that they need, and then go off the regester at a later date.

What matters is that youds gets the help he needs now, not later when he has more problems and it would be more difficult to correct

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Harman - you have not screwed up your children. You sound really lucky that your DS's school is on top of this and are offering help.

Hold in there - perhaps in a couple of weeks it would be worth popping back to see teacher to see how things are going and if there is anything you can do to help.

Good luck but you sound like one of the lucky few where the school is on your side.

i kind of know how oyu are feeling harman.. we sort of knew Ds was not quite at the level we and his teachers expected as a bright, inquisitive boy... but it was still a real when his teacher took me aside the last term of Yr2, and said she felt he was dyslexic.

i was initially horrified, that we had missed this, but now the school are looking into it, he has sessions twice a week with SENCO, has just been for various tests and is referred to ed psych...

and i am glad there is actually a reason now , i know why he is struggling.. so no more stabbing in the dark..

on the flipside, he is incredibly artistic.

you haven';t screwed them up

would be a lot , lot worse if school was not taking any interest

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I know it's a really horrible feeling when your child gets an IEP but it is honestly a positive thing. A friend of mine who is a teacher said to me exactly what Martianbishop said, that a lot of children go onto the SEN register and come off again and it is a positive thing as it's for a time in their life when they need a little bit extra support.

You haven't screwed up at all, you are doing the best you can in very difficult circumstances, I remember your old threads. It is so difficult dealing with a child who struggles a bit. DH & I are feeling really bad this morning as DD said last night " do you ever regret having me ? " I reassured her we have never at all and asked if she often felt that way. She said she did when we tell her off a lot. So I am feeling a complete failure this morning.

But logically I know I am not and neither is DH. It is hugely hard being a parent and there's no sodding book that prepares you for most of it, so you have to make it up as you go along.

Your DS will get a bit extra help now and that really is a positive thing. I think you need to try and focus on that as much as possible, hard though it is.

here here Fio - i totally agree. you have totally done the right thing by your kids and you are doing a brilliant job.
Its good that the school are on the ball with ds - all it means is that there is a more formal monitoring and target setting to help him work through his difficulties. its a good thing.

we all think you are fabulous btw. don't we girls?

WEll I haven't met you Harman, but I have heard from Fio that you are fabulous and if she thinks you are, then you are

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Harman, I think you need to think long and hard about who put you in the situation you are and redirect some of the anger you are turning inwards on yourself outwards onto him.

We all have sides of ourselves that aren't great and come out with our children because we are human. But you are doing a bloody good job coping with 4 on your own, even though it doesn't feel like it.

It does sound like the school is on the ball - and if they start not being on the ball in the future, then the IEP is a good way to track progress, set realistic targets (one of my DS2's targets in Yr3 was "sit at the table for at least 10 minutes" ) and make sure that things are being done. And if there was ever a need for more help i the future, the IEPs will provide proof of taht need. Lots of kids will have an IEP for a year or so and then drop them.
And please please don't beat yourself up about missing things - when you're a parent things that others may see as a cause for concern are just normal to you. DS2's Reception teacher took me aside because she was worried about how often he fell over - and I though "What's she on about?". He then fell over 3 times on the way home and was subsequently diagnosed as quite badly dyspraxic - but to me, the falling over was "just what he did".

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yes it is when the school gets some input from an outside agency, could be OT, of speech therapy, or the dyslexia institurte, ed psych.

Not all kids on sap+ go on to full statementing.

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please don't be hard on yourself over this. please don't.

My son has SEN. I work with lots of fantastic kids who have SEN. I'm not to blame, their parents ae not to blame and neither are you.

What matters is that your son is now getting the support that he needs, and hopefully you are too.

Lots of kids hop on and off the SEN regester, it is just a way of flagging up the fact that they need a little extra help. It isn't a damning comment on their parents skills, it is just part of modern day teaching.

I can't add anything to the wise words of Martianbishop but would echo what she says about going up, down and off the SN register. DD was School Action Plus for years but following her discharge from her physio & OT has apparently been taken off the "active register" to quote her SENCO.