DC on free school meals being singled out

[nothingcomestonothing]

I wasn't sure where to put this. My DCs small, single form entry Primary has been on the very catious side of things re covid (in my opinion). Last week we got an email with arrangements for September, including lunch arrangements, which are stated to be changing due to the need to socially distance in the kitchens.

All of KS1 will get FSM, as all are entitled. The DC in KS2 who are entitled because of low income will get FSM, and the rest of KS2 have to bring packed lunch. The KS2 DC who get FSM will be asked their meal choices at registration each morning.

Now it seems obvious to me that the KS2 who get FSM will be stigmatised by this plan - it will be obvious to the whole class that that their family have a low income, and will lead to teasing or worse. I think the DC this applies to will then decline the FSM so as not to be stigmatised, or their parents will, and potentially some v vulnerable DC will miss out on possibly their only good meal of the day In my view, whatever the system is, it shouldn't publicise DCs vulnerabilities like this.

Is anyone else's school doing this? I emailed the head with my concerns, got no reply. For context, DDs secondary school are offering hot meals for nearly 2000 DC from roughly the same size kitchen as the Primary school has which apparently can't make 250 or so hot meals safely. Is there some guidance or practice from other schools which I can highlight to DC's school on how to be super cautious without doing it like this?

I think it is optimistic at best to think that DC will not notice, or DC who are entitled to FSM will not feel singled out. By year 6 DC know who's got the best phone, who's got a smiggle pencil case or hype backpack, who's moved in with their grandma and who's mum works as a cleaner for who else's mum. That is reality, I'm not saying it's right but I do think it's a thing. I'm surprised at the number of people saying it isn't tbh.

My DC will likely be envious of DC who get the hot meal and not give a thought to why they get it, but that won't stop the vulnerable DC feeling self conscious, or their parents not wanting their finances public in school.

For posters saying just make a packed lunch, that is what I will be doing, my DC aren't entitled to FSM. It doesn't stop me being concerned for those DC and their families whose finances are so tight that making a packed lunch in order to avoid this 'outing' might mean no dinner in the evening. You have to be on a pretty low income to get FSM, it really might be that tight for some families, especially if they have several DC who previously had FSM and now want a packed lunch.

If a family claims FSM doesn't it mean that they aren't working? I understand that even people on tax credits don't qualify for FSM so only households where no-one working. So wouldn't people know anyway that families aren't working since home all day?

Non issue, you are over thinking and the head will be so pleased to receive another email during her annual leave.

At my DC's school KS1 are getting hot meals in the hall and KS2 are eating in their classrooms but all of them are going to be offered a packed lunch from school to replace the hot meal. I was on free school meals throughout school and personally I was never made fun of in primary school for it but I understand the some children might be

@OhdearSummersOver there is a low income limit.

My children genuinely wouldn't know what it meant, my eldest would be jealous as he loves school lunches! I certainly didn't know what it meant when I was at school.

I used to get FSM when I was in school. There were a few unpleasant children who used to make fun of us but the majority didn't really say anything about FSM.

I now work in a primary school. The school has a cashless pre-pay system where you choose from the menu when you pay online. Those who get FSM can also choose in advance on the same system. Those that don't do this are asked in the mornings about which option they prefer.

I haven't yet heard any children making any comment about it - either in the classroom or in the dining area. Either they don't understand what it means or they don't care.

Could the school not tell the parents the options in advance (a week at a time) and give them the option to choose by email or phone call?

Saying that, wouldn't the other children notice anyway when the food gets handed out at lunchtime?

Ohdear how do you know who is 'at home all day'? I am at home all day. I am not unemployed. I am a sahm. I know other parents who are home all day because they work from home. I also know people who do work but it's a very low income so they do qualify for FSM.
Your comment makes no sense.

Do many kids get FSM no one in dcs primary schools gave a shit. No child cares. Food is food.

When I was a child (and a I’m old!) all those getting free school meals were asked to stand up and were put on a table all together. Even as kids we felt sorry for them being singled out and publicly embarrassed. When my father died (I was 12 years old) I was the eligible for free school meals but I was so upset at being in that position, my mum paid for my meals. It must have been a struggle for her but she did.

I'd not be happy at all and would be complaining and hoping lots of others do too.
I was on FSM as a child/teen and I was really embarrassed. So embarrassed in fact that I would steal out of my single-mum's purse so that I could pay in the cafeteria like my friends did rather than hand over my fsm card. The days my mum had no cash or I hadn't been able to look I went without pretending I wasn't hungry.
DM I suspect knew what was happening but it was never brought up.
I'd be REALLY complaining about this.

When I was at primary school some children had money pots (old film containers... what do children put money in now?!) and some had laminated cards that meant they didn’t pay. Made no difference to any of us.

I don't think there's much else they can do as it will be their legal requirement to provide FSM to those who qualify. Making packed lunches for those KS2 will be time consuming and more expensive than just adding a few extra to the meals they're already obliged to make for KS1.

I agree with the OP.

If there wasn't an issue then schools wouldn't usually have policies to hide who has FSM from others, they would do whatever was 'easiest'.

But now things are harder, and instead of working out how to manage things, they have gone down the 'easiest' route.

Perhaps they should continue to provide vouchers to children affected so they can choose to bring packed lunches in, the same way as other children.

My daughter’s friend gets free school meals. Her friend told her and neither of them thought anything of it. The only reason I know is that when FSM popped up on the radio she said ‘that’s like my friend!’. I don’t think anyone cares. That’s not to say all kids are like that, but I definitely think it’s not as big a deal as it was when I was at school.

I definitely think it’s not as big a deal as it was when I was at school.

But maybe that's because it is not so obvious who receives them, so a) there is less awareness amongst the children and b) the bullies can't pick up on it so easily.
If schools start making it more obvious again, there will be increased awareness and more chance of it being picked up on.

That said, I think bullying behaviour is better picked up on now than 30 years ago, in general.

They can easily make a system where people don’t know. That way no one is embraced (not that people should be)

"I am not unemployed. I am a sahm."

Isn't a SAHM technically unemployed? The same as a 'housewife'? I'm not meaning this to be snarky, just wondering about folks different ideas of what constitutes 'unemployed'.

As a primary teacher I can assure you that the children really won’t care. Inclusion and acceptance are core principles of school culture now.

However, there may be a better system for this. Could the FSM be quietly asked by the teacher in the morning, or they order online or similar? Could you present solutions in your email, rather than simply raising the issue?

To me unemployed is on job seekers allowance and looking for paid employment.

A SAHM is not unemployed because she is not in receipt of job seekers allowance and is not seeking paid employment

As a primary teacher I can assure you that the children really won’t care.

This may be true in your class/school but may not be the case across the board. I wouldn’t want one child in my class to feel uncomfortable.

As someone who had free school meals as a child, I can assure you they will.

Where I grew up the over whelming majority of kids were on FSM. I really can’t remember anyone batting an eye. I used to buy FSM tickets off the girls who wanted money for fags because I had shit salmon paste sandwiches 😩

But some kids still do tease about clothing, ridiculous things like hair colour, anything that makes someone 'different' or a minority

No kids bully because they can. It’s not about the victim. It’s about power.

Please don’t blame the victim.