how do you get your children to do their homework without shouting?

[bummer]

Am exhausted from the weekend trying to get dds aged 7 and 10 to just get on with it

Don't know! - I too have had a wekend like that!
Will watch this thread...

ds is 7.5. I got fed up shouting so told him that from now on his homework was his responibility. I would help him with it if asked but would not nag him to do it (although would remind him!). So far this approach has worked!

This weekend (for a change) DD (8) got quite a bit of hers done on Sat and Sun morning (instead of starting 5:30 sun evening) because we were taking doggy to the beach for the first time in the afternoon and I said she had to break the back of it before we left.

I'm glad we didn't leave it too late...the English was hard. Write definitions for some words and then sentences to show that you understand what they mean. OK, define Chemical ... anyone want to try this, in terms meaningful to 8 year old? [NB I have a brace of chemistry degrees] And Literary - definition not too bad but what a bugger to put into a sentence! I called my mum, an ex-primary teacher and she had a hard time with that one too. Literacy would have been ok or literature but I mean how often do adults actually use the word literary unless they are being deliberately high-falutin' ?

Sorry. I hate homework!

Let them discover the consequences of going to school with it not done?

dd1 (8) isn't too bad, but, dd2 (5) is a nightmare. One of her tasks this weekend was to drawer our house then put arrows against and name all the materials (eh) she is only starting to write the letters of the alphabet never mind write full words. Honestly!

I suggest they do it and ask if they need any help, let them know that the teacher will be pleased if they've done their best. If they won't do it after that then I don't make them.

How does the school take it if they don't get it done, Juule? DS (yr3) kicks up a storm about doing the regular writing part of his hw (3 measley sentences to summarise something he's read, he fusses longer than it would take to do it!), but frankly, I'm not up to fighting this battle any more.

No telly/ no pooter time until it s done. That's my hardass line.

Routines are great for homework, as once they get used to it they will get on and get it done, rather than arguing about it.

We do:
3.35 get home have drink and snack
3.45 homework then free play time
5.00 instrument practice
5.15 tea
5.45 chores
6.00 Simpsons

It sounds really regimented, but it works and saves arguments.

Longer homeworks (projects and so on) follow the same routine, but they do - say - 20-30 mins each day until it's done.

Finally when they do start doing this - i.e. homework is finished and back in their school bag by Friday evening, then praise them all weekend in a completely over the top way: "Aren't you pleased you got h/w over and done with and out of the way, so that we can enjoy our weekend and not spend time nagging ... We wouldn't have been able to come out to the cinema if you hadn't got your homework sorted ... Just think if you'd left your h/w til the last minute you wouldn't be watching Dr Who now with me on Sunday Eve you'd be frantically doing your school work .." etc.

It does work, honestly! DSs (8 and 10) rarely need any h/w supervision these days and haven't done for ages and ages - they just get on and get it done

On a day when they have after school activities

Arrive home at about 5.30
Chill out to 6.00
Tea
Homework....done at the kitchen table for support/ to prevent distraction

Free time to bed time

On a dau when they don't have activities

Home by 4.00, snack and chill out
Homework at 4.30

as other day

Roising - totally agree. When it becomes reotuine, they don't even quesion it. And we all keep our sanity (and get to watch the Simpsons )

It's hard. I've been getting them through homework for 20 years and children vary so much that you can't easily generalise.

With the older children we tried to get it done as early as possbile. The twins were doing theirs in the after school club some days as they have supervised homework there so that was really easy but they don't use that now. Sometimes they do some with the nanny which can also be bliss - another advantage of women working full time... so you get the good bits...

Also perhaps yours have too much. Our schools always say if it's taking too long just tell the teacher.

My problem is very specific, DS whizzes thru maths homework, and will do any amountof reading or drawing. But he HATES writing and he is supposed to do some daily.

I usualy say "No TV until it's done", but then DD suffers even if she's done her HW because I can't have TV on for her w/out DS seeing it. I know I'll be told to just keep him away from tv room, but if I physically baricaded him while DD watched difficult with little things to do like take a 3yo to toilet or cook tea DS is likely to explode and go ballistic, hitting, or destructive.

And no, he doesn't think, no amount of threats of consequences works to make him live anywhere but in the moment, so he's going to act on how he feels here and now, full stop.

I used to think DS1 was just "being a boy" but DS2 is sweet and does try to help others and for a 3yo has more self-restraint, DS1 is just a selfish prig, really.

Oh, I don't really go for "routine" as the solution... how long is it supposed to take for them to accept this? We have had same exact routine/rules all the 2 weeks (and all last school year) which I rigorously enforced but DS has not got any more willing to just finish his HW. Today I just couldn't hack arguing any more with DS, although his nominal get-out clause is he didn't bring home his HW book (but he could have done the writing elsewhere and pasted it in later, so no excuse, really).

Agree with Xenia - hard to generalise. Ds2 will do it when he comes in from school. Ds1 won't do it till after his tea, even weekend homework, as he's a creature of habit. Ds1 requires lots of reminding that he's going to do it e.g. homework in 10 mins, homework in 5 mins etc.

lljkk - primary school seem to have different responses depending on what homework has been set and also which teacher. Sometimes, child is given a telling off which is usually enough to complete the next homework set and sometimes it's just let pass. I'm not a huge fan of homework anyway. That's not to say that I don't take an interest in the work they do at school.
Secondary school, I don't have that much involvement with their homework unless they ask me. If they don't do it, then they face the music at school.

I've had a few who find writing very hard. They could tellme the answers in a few seconds but writing anything down is agony, a bit like me. I taught myself to touch type at 15 and away I went. I can hardly write now and my son typed his A levels and at university types everything. I find with the twin who hates writing I just have to sit next to him and we get it done that way giving him full attention. I hardly ever look at his twin's work.

My DD is buckling down to it better now after a few weeks in Yr 4 when they seem to have started off really strict. One day they had quite a lot of homework (on a day when more than a few had an after school club) and not everyone had done it. So they missed their art lesson while people did it - or in DD's case re-did as it was very untidy and misspelled. Subsequent untidy work has had to be copied out again neatly, and spelling mistakes written out in triplicate (spelling test mistakes x20...DD just figured out how many that would be if someone flunked the lot!)

We've been suffering a bit but I could see the teacher's method, they know now there is no escape, no excuse. I think in the long run it'll be a good thing.

I still don't know why an 8 year old would need to be able to write a sentence containing the word 'literary' though!

Don't want to patronise any parents out there but my experience of being a primary school teacher is that all kids LOVE stickers. Even my year 6 used to bend over backwards for one. Just a thought.

In my house, where homework is concerned, stickers do not work!

hi just curious my little one is 4 and has just started primary school. we have already had a meeting regarding homework. she is so reluctant to look at the words and i am obviously not going to push it. have all mums with older kids been through this.............i should use stickers shouldn't i. and how do you cope if you have a baby to look after at the same time ????????

I have found stickers do not work.

Threats, treats and promises have a very limited affect.

I keep thinking I should try crying but what affect might that have on the poor little mites? I hate homework and wish they could just get it over and done with so that we can enjoy the rest of the time we have free but they refuse every time!

I am now going to INSIST on a really strict schedule, no rest as they get in from school just get on with it - but I know they will just prolong the agony.

Keep a box with few very nice sharp clean homework pens, rubbers, rulers that they are not allowed to use for anything else.

Hand out non sticky snack with homework saying 'that's to keep you going'.

In extreme cases lift some of the burden off the child saying 'let's get it done so We are free...' (nb Don't do it!)

I find a little pressure from school works far more than a whole lot from me so if the worst comes to the worst let them not do it and put up with the consequences.

What I should like to know is how do you make them bring home letters. Mine seem to arrive at the end of term, out of date and made into paper boats.

slowreader - paper boats, at least they are creative not just paper planes

If anyone can answer that one I'd love to know the answer too!