what would you do? DS born 31 Aug 2003 - should I press to keep him back a year?

[ScarletA]

I have one of those 'summer born boys' (that have their own category in teaching apparently...) and am wondering whether I am doing the right thing. DS was born at 8.15pm on the 31st Aug 2003, and will consequently always be the very, very youngest in his year. He is due to start in Reception after Xmas and I am worried. There is a boy at his school that was born in Aug and has been allowed to stay down a year - ie become the oldest rather than the youngest - but he is slightly autistic. However, this does mean the school has set a precedent of sorts.

My son is bright, articulate and very sociable. His nursery teachers are not at all worried about him going into reception. I am not either - not really - I am sure he will cope with the longer day. However, I am more concerned about the long term. DD, 22 months older than her brother but will be only one year ahead, has sailed through her first year at school and is already loving yr 1. But there is a real difference in style and pace with year 1 and 2 as opposed to reception and a lot of friends have children, especially boys, who are really struggling with it already. I am hugely concerned about how ds will cope long term with being so young in his year - all statistics I read or hear about say that summer born children do not fair well, it being especially tough for boys.

Has anyone got a similar experience of this? Would you if you could keep your child down a year? I know it will be a fight as the nursery staff will not support me if I make a case to the Head.

If it is s state school then you may be struggling to keep him back. the other boy may be autistic and may have medical /statemneted reasons why he is being kept back.

Withou any professional evidnec from GP / specialist/ etc saying that your child should be kept back then you will be fighting a losing battle.

It is not easy at times my DS2 is in Yr1 and is August born , has just been to a classmates 6th birthday party. If I had my way I woould keep him back but state school don't allow it.

If ypou went private that would be a differnt matter.

No, I wouldn't (esp if nursery and you think he will cope fine). I think it has some impact later on for exams or something (?).

Yes, some bits of primary school are going to be tough and yes, the younger ones sometimes find things a bit hard going but they get there in the end!

If he's sociable and articulate, I bet he'll sail through infants!

(I only have just under 15 months between my two but they are 2 school years apart. One is August, the other is November)

MY daughter was august 30 99 she got kept back a year but only after doing a year in reception and the teachers finally decided she wasn't ready for Y1
it has been a total nightmare but if they had kept her in nursury an extra year i'm sure she would have benefitted immensly and would not have the stigma of been the girl who was held back
IMO fight for it now if you know in your heart they are not ready then thay are probably not I really wish I had even known she could have stayed a year in nursery I would have left her there without hesitation

Good luck

Private schools are more flexible, as my DS is currently held back (late Aug and SN). But the plan is to reintegrate him with his peers as he will eventually go to a state school where he will have to be in his year group - effectively missing a whole year of the curriculum.

I would try hard to keep him with his peers, if he is not starting until January he will be 4 and 4 1/2 months. He will be advantaged by peer group example, although I can understand your worries.

My husband is an august -23rd- born and coped well with school and now has an astrophysics degree.

I can understand your fears I was a teacher and have met many 'not ready for school' children, girls as well as boys. My friends son is an early sept born and was definately not ready for school with speech delays, awkward gait when running and a terrible dribbling problem which makes him seem a lot younger than he is.
From what you've said, your son is fine at nursery and the staff are more than confident he will be okay. Try not to worry as I'm sure he will be

"My friends son is an early sept born and was definately not ready for school with speech delays, awkward gait when running and a terrible dribbling problem which makes him seem a lot younger than he is."

He must have special needs and may well need to go to school to get the necessary help with speech. Its all very well waiting for school readiness, but with some children it might never come.

I hope the little boy is getting the help he needs. Many children with speech and/ or walking problems have completely normal brains which need simulation. They would lose out if they were kept back.

Its really hard though because primary schools are very pressurised these days.

EVery child is different but if his teachers aren't worried then I'd listen to them.

My birthday is 30 August and I never had any problems.

Scarlet - my DS1 is 14 hours and 9 minutes older than yours!!
He started school in September, and has taken to it like a duck to water (he used to be full time in nursery though).
I'm going to 'suck it and see' and give him all the support he needs....

Sorry this post is useless for you isn't it - bump it in a few weeks and I'll see if anything has changed.

Reallytired

His mother committed suicide earlier this year. Not special needs just needs time...

I am a teacher btw

Scarlet-I have 2 August born boys. Neither were held back; due to the admissions system when they started, they both actually only had 1 term in reception before moving into year 1. (DS4 was born on 29th August and was actually 6 weeks premature, so should definitely have been in the next year!) However, they have always done extremely well academically so would not have benefitted at all from being held back. I would not consider it for your DS as long as you think there is no obvious need.

DS is August and the only problem he ever had in Yr 1 & 2 was the teachers said you could tell he was emotionally younger as he got upset more easily than some of the older ones who had had reception. (DS went straight into YR1, no reception, from a different nursery).

He was the only boy from his school to get into the local grammar school - sitting the 11+ at 10.25 yrs

Scarlet I wouldnt base your son on statistics and other peoples children, he will be 4.4 years when he starts reception which isnt young at all and no reason to be kept back a year, he will most probably thrive for all you know, give him the chance and do whats best for him.

My DS is born 30th August 1991. He has just started sixth form.

He passed GCSEs with mostly As. I am sure if he'd have been kept back a year he would have hated it.

DD was born at the beginning of September and has always been the eldest. She couldnt wait to leave school and always felt more adult than many of her friends.

I'd see how it goes tbh. Many younger children cope very well and by the time your ds starts he will be almost average for the Reception starters now anyway. Those few who are kept back are almost exclusively SEN not just "young".

DS1 - August 5th, reception fine though a bit immature and found getting dressed for PE difficult. Also didn't get the whole writing/reading thing.

Year 1, started to catch up and reading by the end of the year.

Now great writing, reading fluently and just got the class star award this week . He is more confident, physically and socially he is also catching up.

My DS was born 1st August - just gone into Sixth Form. He probably would have done better at school (to date) had he been one of the oldest rather than one of the youngest, though he has always been considered sensible and mature in outlook. A friend of his was born 31st August and is the most academically able in his school year.
As you know, your DS does not have to attend school until the term after he is five, but you will find it difficult to arrange this within the state system.

haven't got personal experience but know a child who has the same birthday. The child in question couldn't speak properly when starting school (at just 4), was later diagnosed with dispraxia but by the time he left was "on target" in terms of SATs etc....

Our very experienced Reception teacher once told me that being a summer baby doesn't affect the childs ability to keep up academically but they may be a bit emotionally immature...

Personal experience here! DD has just started reception - born August 30 2003. She is sort of okay: she is quite small anyway, and does look a real baby compared with some of the bigger ones. She can't read or write (I purposely didn't try to teach her in advance) and many in the class can read quite fluently. However, although it is annoying that she is the youngest in the year (she was premature, to boot), someone has to be the youngest, and there are far worse handicaps that might have had to be endured.

At the moment she only does mornings at school, which is quite enough for her, and although she is supposed to go full time after half-term, I'm going to press for her to continue doing mornings only.

DS (August 16) is now in year 5. During the infants he was the small, babyish-looking one. Last year he won the prize for the cleverest person in the year (out of 90). I don't mean to boast - just to point out that by the juniors it really does start to even out.

It is definitely down to the individual child. My DD has her birthday on August 2nd 2003 and she has just started mornings only in Reception. She is ready though. My son is a March born boy and I think has benefitted from the extra months. Do you have the option to defer him? All we could have done was hold her back until Jan 08.

Scarlet I very much doubt if you will be able to keep yr DS back and have him start in Reception without a very good reason (ie a statement of SEN for example). I know s/one who held back an AUg 26-born child so he is now a week older than the very oldest in his year, but he has a developmental delay (speech, mobility etc) and they were able to show this.

As far as I can see from yr post yr reason is simply that he was born on Aug 31. That just won't be enough - after all, from the school's point of view, the cut-off has to be somewhere. If yr DS, who not one born on Aug 27th? And so on.

But he sounds like a lovely boy who will do fine. And as others say, he will actually be 4.4 yrs when he does start - we have one intake here and plenty of children are that age or younger.

well this seems to be a regular issue recently. I'm just glad there's so many of us! ScarlettA- we are nearly a snap! My ds was born Aug 30 2003 and he is due to start in Easter. I've worried about this forever but now its on me I think I've started to relax. i've convinced myself That its my anxiety and the less I stress the less it will be a problem.

Maybe we should start our own August babies reception 2007/8 thread to see how they really get on!!!

Thank you all so very, very much. You have MASSIVELY reassured me with all your sense and experience. He will always be state school (unless we win the lottery) and I think you are right - it will be incredibly difficult to keep him back without some kind of SEN which he doesn't have.

KTeePee "Our very experienced Reception teacher once told me that being a summer baby doesn't affect the childs ability to keep up academically but they may be a bit emotionally immature... " This really helped. My son is surprisingly mature for one so young - no tantrums or much in the way of hitting, racing about etc, also can happily sit and concentrate on stuff.

Pyjamagirl - yours seems to be the only bad experience, I'm sorry . What your dd has been through is what I feared for my ds - though if he really can't cope, despite the stigma, I hope our school will let him stay back like yours did. I suppose it is better that it happens early on in their school life than later.

It is not ideal, I know, but I think we will just have to take the leap and hope for the best. Thank you x

so shall we start up a summer 2003 babies starting reception support thread?

I'm in

This doesn't just apply to summer borns (I do like that phrase BTW) but I think it's really important to keep an eye on them in Reception, and let them have the occasional Friday off if they seem particularly tired or fractions. I did/ do this with mine, and did right up to year 6! Sometimes a "duvet day" makes the difference between coping and having fun(which is what school should be about) and not coping and being miserable.