what would you do? DS born 31 Aug 2003 - should I press to keep him back a year?

[ScarletA]

I have one of those 'summer born boys' (that have their own category in teaching apparently...) and am wondering whether I am doing the right thing. DS was born at 8.15pm on the 31st Aug 2003, and will consequently always be the very, very youngest in his year. He is due to start in Reception after Xmas and I am worried. There is a boy at his school that was born in Aug and has been allowed to stay down a year - ie become the oldest rather than the youngest - but he is slightly autistic. However, this does mean the school has set a precedent of sorts.

My son is bright, articulate and very sociable. His nursery teachers are not at all worried about him going into reception. I am not either - not really - I am sure he will cope with the longer day. However, I am more concerned about the long term. DD, 22 months older than her brother but will be only one year ahead, has sailed through her first year at school and is already loving yr 1. But there is a real difference in style and pace with year 1 and 2 as opposed to reception and a lot of friends have children, especially boys, who are really struggling with it already. I am hugely concerned about how ds will cope long term with being so young in his year - all statistics I read or hear about say that summer born children do not fair well, it being especially tough for boys.

Has anyone got a similar experience of this? Would you if you could keep your child down a year? I know it will be a fight as the nursery staff will not support me if I make a case to the Head.

DD not doing so well. She loved it at first, but she was ill on Friday and refused to go in point blank on Monday and yesterday. Today she went in reluctantly, but the teacher told me she cried on and off all morning and she hates the playground. I feel really bad that she was born on August 30 now. I know it's no use my beating my breast about it, but I feel sort of personally guilty.

Oh, no. I realise I've probably just traumatised everyone else who has an August child. Must add that ds is August and he has always been fine. DD also has just stated in no uncertain terms that she is "never EVER going to learn to read" because she likes listening to stories.

Blimey pyjama girl my dd was born 31.08.99!!!!

you could still have problems if you had crossed your legs and got an early september child, dd is like this and is physically, academically and socially year 3 apart from her birth certificate which makes her year 2 and still in the infants while all her friends have moved to the junior playground and no way of putting her up a year

Scotland seems to be more sensible on their end of year kids (I know it is january/feb/march cut off) but allow choice as to when dc's actually start if they birthdays around that time and can depend on each child's maturity

Happy to be in a summer 2003 starting receptions thread after Xmas, Teejay . Have not posted on Mumsnet for years and had forgotten (apart from how good it is) what FUN you can have. Love the expression summer borns too - reading the last Harry Potter right now (how sad am I) and it sounds rather like Muggle-borns, hopefully without the same stigma or threat of death at the hands of evil wizards.

I dunno, ScarletA. Some evil wizard posted on another thread that top private schools reject summer borns on principle (luckily that's not going to affect me!). On MN I fear we parents of summer borns are a lonely band, scorned by those with dcs so carefully conceived to ensure optimum success.

Lol, fircone. I have to admit that I was one of those who, when we decided to try, refused to let DH near me until after Christmas to ensure a Sept (at earliest) baby. It's the teacher in me.

Scarlet, I'm a teacher and I'd say;

1. Academically, they're as able as they are able. When in the year they're born doesn't affect this.

2. Often, summer babies, usually but not always boys, aren't quite ready emotionally and this can be a little difficult for them. This by no means affects all summer babies. Many are just as ready as their peers. Also, any reception teacher worth their salt is aware of this and does his or her best to counter it.

3)IMO and IME, 99 times out of 100, by the time they reach Y4,it's a level playing field and you can't tell sept babies from aug ones.

If nursery feel he's ready and he's a happy and confident child they go for it. Keep it in mind, mention it to his teacher explicitly if it'll put your mind at rest and try not to worry (about that at least )

I'm with you there dayofftomorrow. I have a summer born dd (now Yr2 )and a Sep born ds (Reception).

He is hating every minute and cannot get used to playing with children so much younget than him - he is so close to his sister (only 14 mths older and immature for her age) and used to playing with her and her school friends that his normal 'peer group' is older children.

He really should be in Yr 1 but of course the English system has no flexibility ...

I know that it will probably have evened up by Yr 3 or so but what does he do for the next 3 years?

Please be aware that it is very difficult to place a child outside their chronological year group, Local Authorities are very much against it unless in exceptional circumstances, even for children with SEN.

Scarlet - my son was born end Aug 99. He was actually due 27th Sept but was a premmie.

Therefore he is the youngest in his year and actually should be a year below if he hadn't been premature. However, I never though of keeping him down a year. I admit that he did struggle for the reception but in Year 1 he absolutely flew and is now in Year 4 and as the brightest little lad!

I wonder if they do even up apart from the fact that the make up of the class holds the older ones back so they get used to treading water.
DD fortunately has a class teacher who encourages her rather than trying to get her more average (somehow her year at school is very much skewed towards the younger end) Even at gsce level at 16 there is statistically a difference between older ones and youngest in the year group.

Someone did a report on professional footballers and found far more were born september to christmas having been in school football teams and youth teams more than their younger classmates

-right, all mothers with 2003 summer born-ers already started reception, how is it going? Mine (Aug 30)isnt starting until easter and scarlettA until January, we want advice, hot tips and things to avoid to make the transition as simple as possible!

My DD has started reception and was born in Aug 03. She is just doing mornings. She seems to enjoy school but is exhausted when she gets home and has had horrendous tantrums. In fact most of my friends who also have July/Aug children have said that they are vile since starting school! Hopefully this is a temporary thing! My advice would be not to organise anything too adventurous for the afternoons if they are just doing mornings.
Her teacher said she is lovely and very funny-apparently making the class laugh, so luckily she is saving the devilish behaviour for home!

sounds like my ds after a day a nursery! I started taking a snack and drink and it slightly improved things.

and what sort of stuff are they doing at school.. I think I should try some stuff with ds so he;s not too far behind when he does go

DD (August 30, 2003) is not enjoying school at all. She is absolutely phobic about the playground. Every day she says, "I know, Mummy, let's go to the Marks & Spencer cafe today instead of school."

Every morning I try to think of something for her to look forward to at school, such as showing the teacher a sticker she got from the nurse after having her booster jab or the fact that it could be Music and Movement that day.

I try to be buoyant about school, but it's difficult when dd is so downhearted in the mornings.

fircone- that's so sad....although I think we'd all prefer to be in M&S cafe. Keep us posted about how she's getting on- a friend told me that it changes once they get a friend- maybe you could ask a classmate back after school?

My dd (July 2003) is doing really well so far. She's only doing mornings, possibly even til Easter, and that is definitely enough. She is napping most afternoons - 2.5 hours yesterday! - and she is missing her friends who are at different schools. I had thought we'd meet in the afternoons but its like WW3 has broken out. They are all in pieces! Hopefully as her stamina develops we'll be able to do some playdates, but at the moment its lots of television, quiet play and tantrums

I guess all any of us can give you is our opinion/experience as no one can predict what will be best for your LO, or even if if one way is right and the other wrong - he will hopefully be fine whatever you decide.
my DS1 was born on August the tenth - so 3 weeks earlier in the year than your ds, but still the youngest in the class. coupled with that, we moved to a new area just before he began school in the september (when he was 4 and 3 weeks)so he knew no other kids there (they had all been in the school nursery together)
Like your DS he was (and still is) bright, articulate and sociable.
he copes just as well as the rest of his class with all aspects of school, and now in his 3rd year there, he's still loving it!
I think support at home is a valuable thing for kids to have, and parental involvement and interest is important too.
good luck with your decision - you are right to be concerned, but my experience has so far been a great one.

DD was born on 14th July 2003 and will be starting in January. Her school has I think 3 days of half-days and then straight into full-time 5 days a week.
Am very nervous. Think she is emotionally ready. But physically, she gets so tired by the end of the week at preschool (2 full days, one morning), that I can't imagine what she'll be like in January, particularly with the long winter evenings.

DS was born at the beginning of september. Did see 31st August as a milestone to pass before could go into labour!