My nearly 8 year old can barely write

[ClareVH]

My DD is nearly 8 years old. When she was at nursery, she showed great promise. She could write her name, count, read a few words, we were very happy with her progress. She stood out as being bright, a quick learner and we had no concerns whatsoever.

However, since moving to primary school, she has really struggled. She has friends and is very popular, but academically she has hardly made any progress in the 3 years she's been there.

It's a well-resourced private school with small class sizes and lots of extra help. She was getting 4 hours a week private tuition that the school provided for free to help her. She did make some progress, but not much. She is at least 2 years behind her peers.

The problems are that she cannot hold a pen properly. And her handwriting is atrocious. Most of her letters and numbers are backwards. It is very difficult to read what she has written. Her Maths is OK, but again probably 2 years behind her peers.

The school advised that we take her for an assessment, which we did, but it was inconclusive. I have mentioned Dyslexia a few times, but neither the school nor the educational psychologist agree. They did, however, suggest she has some OT for her pencil grip, but the quote I got was $2k, which we don't have as my business has just closed down and my husband's hours and therefore salary has just been cut.

Any ideas what could be wrong? I would really appreciate any help. Thanks.

Is it just her writing that's the issue or does she have trouble reading and spelling too? How's her speech? My DS is in reception and has a speech delay but his writing and reading is coming along really well, so we're confused as to why his speech is not catching up. I hope you find an answer

Her reading and spelling are quite bad also. Her speech is good. She spoke early. She also has great recall, according to the tests done by the educational psychologist.

If it is just to do with her physical grip, we can give you lots of things to be working on.
However, as pp says, it would be helpful to know what you mean more specifically about being '2 years behind'

Do you find certain pencil grippers help or certain pens. (I find I write beeter with some over others.) You have said $ so are you out of the uk? If in uk how about contacting the dyslexia association they may give you some advice. I assume child is at home now but when she goes back to school have a discussion with senco. Does sound like Dyslexia. (I was in the same position at that age.)

Could it be a problem related to her fine motor control rather than something like dyslexia?

Her reading, writing and Maths are on the level of a 5/6 year old.

We have tried pencil grips, but she won't use them properly. She just holds the pencil the same way, over the grip.

She definitely has problems with her fine motor control, hence the OT recommendation. However, it's just not something we can afford.

Yes, we're outside the UK.

She sounds like she has orientation and fine motor difficulties. Can't she go on the waiting list for NHS occupational therapist?
In the meantime look up treatment for handwriting issues, finger strength and orientation. The most commonly recommended handwriting series is Theodorescu, Write from the Start. You could buy a copy and get her practising daily while you are at home, plus malleable play daily - plasticene is ideal as harder to work than Play-Doh, or fimo or clay.
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Do you have test scores?

They had to copy their timetable for the day from the board (online). All of the other children copied the timetable verbatim. And very neat. This was hers. She only managed 3 items and it’s not even clear what they are.

I worked for years with students with dyslexia. The most severely dyslexic would write in a way which resembled how I would write if using my left hand ( I am right handed). What were the scores on your daughter'seducational psychologist's report? I assume the psychologist gave you detailed feedback on the scores and what they jndicated? If she cannot hold a pen, perhaps she needs to see a physiotherapist? I have never encountered students needing physio although there is a small plastic grip thing we used to give to students which slid over a pencil making it easier to hold. I assume you are in the states? Age 8 is a common age for dyslexia to be picked up in UK schools as the child might then be reading two years behind their chronological age. The reversal of letters is common until about 7 but can indicate dyslexia in older children or adults. Hope that is slightly helpful.

I’m sorry if this upsets you, but I found your post really triggering....
‘She showed great promise’ - so she doesn’t now she can’t write neatly?
Maybe there’s nothing ‘wrong’ with her.
Maybe she’s meant to sing, or dance, or speak to people.
Maybe writings just not her thing.
She’s 8! Just let her be.

You country may have a dyslexia group anyway worth looking it up. As you say her reading and maths are also effected akes it sound more like she dyslexia and associated dys. TRy threading beeds, ball games tracing . Lots of painting/drawng things which help both fine and gross motor control. (Which has also been shown to jhelp with reading.)

I find it very hard to believe that they haven’t diagnosed dyslexia and dyspraxia. My DS is dyslexic and dyspraxic. His pencil grip was terrible, he couldn’t spell and wrote his letters and numbers backwards just like your DD. I would ask for a second opinion. Can your Dd read?

He is also very bright and has just left Uni last year with a 2.1 Science degree, so don’t despair OP.

Does your Dd trip over a lot?

I always said DS could fall over on a completely flat pavement.

Does your Dd trip over a lot?

OMG yes! It's terrible! She is forever falling over. We have to supervise her at all times in the playground otherwise she will fall off a swing, or trip over something, or bump into someone. She has a big scar on her face from when she walked into a door at school, she drops drinks and food all the time, she has killed 2 of my work laptops by knocking over drinks sat next to them, etc etc.

I know it sounds cruel, but she really is the most clumsy person I have ever met.

My kid is similar. He was (finally) diagnosed with dyslexia and a specific learning disorder, as well as ADHD. We start Ritalin next week. What's been enormously helpful is seeking a private literacy tutor. It's been life changing for him, actually.
I suspect you're in Australia. If it's melbourne, send me a PM and I'll give you our tutor's details. She's phenomenal!

I am prepared to bet that your DD is dyslexic, given what you have described and her short writing sample (primary teacher here). Now is a good age to assess. Get a second opinion.
On a more personal note, I love her schedule! My very dyslexic DD would often do what your DD has done; decorate letters with little cartoons or designs.

Definitely get a second opinion OP she sounds so like my son. He went to a state school and they helped him immensely he had a laptop and extra time for exams in secondary school.

I would consider looking around at other schools with good SEN provision rather than the private school.

You guys are our second opinion ! We just can't afford another specialist assessment.

Sounds like my DD. Same age too. Diagnosed specific learning difficulties which seem with my reading to amount to dyslexia (poor working memory, visual processing, executive function, literacy development). Very very bright too. Also have you checked her eyes as mine had eyesight issues too (not working together). Also maybe dyspraxia maybe a possibility? My DD has OT help at school with exercises and pen grips and support. Lots of great support groups on FB. i would get a second opinion from an educational psychologist. Good luck. Xx

Just seen your message re second opinion. Do you have the scores from the original assessment, worth revisiting that.. were there any big differences between the various scores?

She may also have dyspraxia? My DS has this also with a rare syndrome but I know a few children with it, also dyslexia too.
Definitely second opinion
Good look OP

Have you looked at the criteria for Dyspraxia to see if it fits?

Add/adhd, dyslexia or dyspraxia. Check them all out. Some can overlap too

Sign up for Nessy.com it’s recommended by phycolgist lot of free stuff at the moment

Get her things like play doh buttons sewing - big plastic needle, weaving loom, putty, magnetic pens, paints, nuts and bolts, keyboard

Anything she has to use her fine motor skills for!

You are not alone with this. My DS is approximately 2 years behind (age 10). He has ADHD and general delays. I now find it better to get him to write a few sentences and praise the clear words rather than expect a page. At 8 I would have encouraged a list of a few words and praised the clear letters. That way there is encouragement to keep trying rather than developing a block on learning. My DS has learnt about half of his times tables based on stories (Times Fables) as amounts don't have value or real meaning to him. The other half he is still working on.

Knowledge is more than writing. My DS is fast on a keyboard and has a good memory for facts. Maybe for your DD try learning based on videos and quizzes and expressive art online. Find things she can do!

I write very neatly, but don't need to as I use a PC at home and work, which even corrects my spellings. In real life how many of us have to write pages of writing?