If you send your DC private and are in london or SE...

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What is your household income? Sorry this is very nosey but I'm just interested. Looking at a GDST school in a london borough(not central) from y5 & hopefully all the way through. Between us we bring home about 130k before tax. Weve done the sums and can afford it plus have some left over but obviously not as much if she was to stay in state. I'm just nosey as to whether we'll be about average or not.

Own a fairly decent sized house but its needs some renovating which would be put on hold for a while. Very average car. Probably would still do one holiday abroad a year and maybe a uk break too.i dont want DD to be the odd ones out if everyone else is cruising around in a range rover / going to New York/ Bahamas on a regular basis.

Hmmm it's a hard one - what's your net income then? £90k? It's going to be about £20k a year at a GDST (DD at one for secondary and other DD currently at a prep). It's not just the fees, there's uniform, lunches, school curriculum trips etc on top. Plus the overseas trips organised. You don't want to always have to say no. Our household income is double yours and then some.

At any private school you’ll have the super rich as well as those who really go without to send their children. You sound like you’d be pretty average in the mix to be honest. It’s a bit of a common misconception that everyone who sends their kids to private school is minted. Sure, it’s a big commitment, but it sounds like you could make a few adjustments and still have a very comfortable lifestyle.

AuntImmortale yes this does worry me. Lunches and uniform we have accounted for but the overseas trips especially might be hard.

zodle thank you it was very hard to judge at the open day everyone seemed very friendly but you cant exactly ask how hard are the fees going to be for you can you 😂. I so want dd to go here though I think she would just thrive

Agree with Zodlebud. There’s a pretty wide mix. It isn’t something that’s ever openly discussed, but it’s usually obvious when you get to know people. I’d say you’d be very much below average in income terms, but that most people have 2/3 kids, which massively balances it out! If you’ve done the sums (including fee inflation and extras) and feel you can afford it, then that’s the most important thing - it’s not worth worrying about everyone else.

We have a base from a single salary of 135k (so less take home than you since higher rate tax). DH also gets a bonus but we just save that never spend it.

There are some who are super rich but most in the middle like you and some who are having fees paid by grandparents and couldn't afford them themselves.

Go for it.

We sent three DCs to independent schools and I therefore went to a lot of their classmates' homes for play dates etc.

Yes, some lived in palatial estates - think Brideshead - with a gymkhana/skiing/designer clothes lifestyle, and some some lived quite ordinary lives in a three bedroomed semi with an ancient car on the drive.

Thank you all , we have done the sums over and over again and it is doable it just is obviously a huge commitment but tbh I think it's what we want to spend our money on. I work in the state sector & feel so disappointed by how we are letting so many children down but I'm buggered if DD is going to be one of them.

There's a wide range of parents at our school and if you are interested it's possible to work out who are truly wealthy and who are not. Some people have flashy cars, some people have large mansions, some have both and some neither.
But the point is whether you care about it. If you are the type of person where it will make you unhappy to be "poor" compared to the other parents, then maybe you can look for a school with a different mix of parents?
We have one DC in pre-prep and another on the way there and make a little more than you but have bonuses that all go in to savings. Parents at our prep school seem to be mostly professionals like lawyers, bankers, accountants or doctors. So very few obvious multi-millionaires.

Yes we are lucky that DH earns a decent bonus and the idea would be to save that which would give us a couple of years worth of fees upfront should disaster happen.

At primary there shouldn't be many over sees or expensive trips. At my DC's prep school there's the option of a ski trip from Y4 but mostly older years go and most kids don't go at all (the kids who do go often choose to because they've never been before and it's cheaper than doing a family trip). They did a day trip to France which cost £50 and that was the most expensive. There are families with mansions and pools but the majority live in middle-large-ish houses semi detached etc. (we're SE but not London). People pick up uniform second hand, spend £5-15 on birthday presents (in Y1-Y3). The kids are all from comfortably off families (I assume) but there isn't a lot of flashiness.

At least in the past GDST were schools tended to attract a mixed intake - not just very wealthy. They traditionally had very healthy assisted place schemes so it was a lovely mix - not sure how that's changed now though.

TO answer your question we have a household income of about £300k BUT from that we're trying to save so DH can change to a less stressful career and just create a safety net so I would say that to comfortably afford the school fees at primary level we'd need no more than one income of £85k.

We’re very well off. However, I reckon that on 130k with one child, we’d go private all through. With 2, we’d do state for primary and then try for grammars but somehow pay the fees if they didn’t get in.

Probably also depends on mortgage payments and other outgoings.

I don't have a mortgage but I put my kids in private and between the two of them it was more than half my income. If it's important to you then you will make sacrifices. But it doesn't seem like you need to.

It sounds like you'd be about average. Dd1 is at a gdst school. Only one child in the class has flash holidays. 3 went skiing for Xmas but there are still 15 who didn't going skiing for xmas. One family has a very modest income and house. I would say more have average houses than anything noteworthy. I wouldn't worry about it.

My DH earns just under 200k and we have 3 in a private intl school but that's only bc his work pays for it as part of his contract. Otherwise they would be in state (our area has excellent state schools).

Hello our income is similar and we are looking to send DC private. Have friends with DC in prep the vast majority are ordinary people working very hard to give their DC this opportunity . Lots of flashiness / range rovers / keeping up with the Jones at DDs current state primary however !!!

I went to a GDST school and would definitely have chosen one if I’d had daughters.

We were middling I think, high earners but I’m one of 4, so it was a struggle for our parents at times.

I didn’t go on the overseas trips, or some of the more expensive social outings when we got older, but I honestly wasn’t bothered. I wouldn’t worry about that aspect. It’s good for children to learn they don’t all get the same things!

We are at about the same income as you, both kids at a prep. It means having to be careful with money, but it is SO worth it. Especially since our oldest is heavily dyslexic, and a good prep just helps so much more than a state school ever could

It really varies. But if it is not central or super rich area of London, then your income would probably be about average, especially if you only have one child. In our class, we have a couple of multi-millionaires with double digit million houses, and both parents don't have apparent jobs. But most parents are professionals working in London. And we have quite a few single child families. And many buy second hand uniforms.

90k. 2dc, but we got half price fees cause dh worked in a school associated with theirs.

It wasnt for us and dd left private to go state at secondary, as will ds next year.

We have 3DC in private school in Surrey. Pre tax income about 200k between us. There is a real mix of people, some super rich but most are hard working families making lots of sacrifices to keep their kids there.

£140k here , one DD at a GDST School the other will hopefully join in Y3. Big age gap luckily so not too many years of paying for x2 at a time ! Worth every penny (and I work in a well regarded state primary). Few people are very well off but the vast majority have two parents working to afford the fees and we aren't the only ones who go camping!!